Introducing the first safe color specially formulated for the hair down there. Colors naturally, covers gray, and enhances to match your glorious locks above. Whether you're blonde (be a true blonde now!), radiant auburn, brunette, or black, our easy-to-use, no-drip formula gives you the perfect finishing touch. From now on, when you highlight or color your hair, don't forget your betty color for the hair down there.
Now, by my own statistical analysis (using a double-blind random sampling of an undisclosed (but large) number of the women the Knoxville "Gothic" scene), approximately 90% of the women reading this will find no need for "betty," but for you 10%, check it out:
http://www.bettybeauty.com/
The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.
The cheapest solution would be to just shave it all off... unless that's what you were implying with your statistics... which brought to my mind, dark hair...