Other People

[Celestial Dung]

"I like it when it's new you know. I like meeting that special girl for the first time and you're just starting to know her, when her little mysteries are starting to be revealed you know. After the first few months those mysteries start to fade and all your left with is a colossal bore and her expectations. It's like that quote from Oscar Wilde that i can never remember.

"No let me guess, it's from 'The Importance of Being Ernest' isn't it?" Ardene asked.

"Oh fuck you and keep your eye on the road."

"No no straight boy. You brought this up on yourself. People think they can read one book by Oscar Wilde and misquote him mercifully and gladly for the rest of their lives. They think they can brink up a little smidgen of his words whenever they feel the need to say something of wit and class."

"Oh let's not argue about this again." Brad wiped through his hair again causing it to slick back even more. He already looked like a poor version of a greaser.

"Ok then Mr. Wit, tell me where we're going to stake out tonight then."

"Hannah'.s I'm feeling cheap tonight."

"Uh-huh we went there last Friday and it sucked. Sucked ass. There was one lunatic who didn't do anything but dance all night long and all the other guys were overzealous frat boys. If I took one of them home they would preach to me, kill me, and they pray for my soul."

"Ok how about Blue Cats then."

"Nope."

"Pilot Light?"

"Notta."

"Ok so it's goodbye to the Old City then. Where out west do you want to go? Wait. Oh hell no. Oh hell no."

"You know how long it's been since I've went around the Carousel?"

"I'm sure we slummed around at least three weeks ago."

"Two months. Two months since I've been there. In the interim I've been to Blue Cats twice, Hannah's three times, the Pilot Light once, and Michael's three times. Michaels. Three times. What the bloody hell are we doing going to Michael's three times in two months?"

"But there's no women at the freakin' Carousel. It's all gay guys and cross dressers."

"There's women there."

"Yeah women who don't want to be around straight men. Ok ok we'll go. You owe me though. I'm horny so you owe me big."

"The only thing I owe you is a unabridged copy of the complete works of Oscar Wilde."

So into the Carousel they went. Ardene was welcomed with open arms as she hugged her way up to the bar. Brad sneaked his way to one of the side tables away from the gay men, away from the crossdressers, and away from the women who wished all men were crossdressing gay men. One man asked him if he would like a drink and Brad shook his hand away. Ardene came back with gin coke.

"Here you go sweetie. Look to the right next to the bar. Now look at me. She was dumped two weeks ago by some art student. All he wanted to talk about was Monet and Andy Warhol. Didn't think she was up to his intellectual capacity. She's complaining about him but still able to communicate on other things. I say she's past the mourning period and ready for a one nighter. Go get her."

She was pretty. Brad had two favorite types in that period of his life. One was the sorostitute with the heart of gold. She kept her hair long and straight, she wore sweaters and tight jeans. She was always sad about something. And there she was at the bar right now sipping on a long and fruity drink. Brad thought once or twice about his chances. Lonely, desperate, and she needed sympathy. Give her one night and she might be upset for a while but she'll get over it. Besides she can brag to to arty farty. As Brad was walking to the bar about to raise a conversation with the unsuspected victim his arm was abruptly grabbed by the hottest thing he had seen since his first playboy.

Brad's second favorite type was a dominator. She didn't have to wear leather, as a matter of fact it was best if she didn''t, but she had to have eyes that did not blink. High teased hair, brunette preferably, and lips that were strictly red. It helped if she had a strong walk but it wasn't a requisite. This one had a strong walk and a strong dance and a strong presence that could dominate anyone anyplace anytime. If you had asked Brad what her eye color was he could come up with three different answers; bright blue, bright green, and jeweled hazel. She took him to the dance floor and the world shimmered until there was nothing but lights and the woman.

"Sorry didn't catch your name their." Brad started up. She was a gorgeous woman up close. Normally Brad could see the imperfections after a while. A wrinkle, a mole, uneven eyes, but she was unique in that no imperfections surfaced.

"I've got a few names floating about. If you guess one I'll let you go."

"Sure sure, your name must be Bert. Right your name is Bert."

She smiled and the lights whirled faster. Brad's heart raced as they danced together. And then she dumped him.

"It's just not working out babe."

Brad fell down into a pit of darkness. In the absence of love their was nothing. He couldn't hear himself crying until he was brought up again by the strong arms of the Lady and they danced again the lights faster and her charms more enticing.

"What the hell was that?"

"Just say my name."

" I don't know ummm....Barbara?"

"It's not you it's me." and down he went into the pit where there was nothing no sound no light no pain nothing but the darkness. Time was stilled and then he was yanked out by the Lady.

He did not speak. After two dumps attention that she was giving him was glowing. She smiled and flashed a look at him. And then.

"What's my name?"

Down he went down down infinite times, never accustomed to the decent, never developing a sense of time or place, and up he was grabbed never failing to fall for her.

"What's my name?"

"Oh God you must be the Devil."

"Only one is correct. I'll give you another guess for that one."

Brad had felt only the divine presence twice before. The first time he fell in love and the first time he made love. Now he felt it again amplified in the glory that was the glory god of the universe. His heart broke and reformed and broke again.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to have fun. That's all I wanted. I never meant to hurt anyone. Please forgive me, I'm just a worthless sinner man you've gotta forgive me."

And the goddess, the god, the life, smiled at him. "Go and sin no more." As she winked she world came back into focus and she was gone. Brad was standing next to the bar attempting to strike up a conversation with the broken hearted girl. He immediately told Ardene goodbye.

"What? You leaving already? Look let me drive you."

"No that's fine a good walk will do wonders for me. Gotta go."

"What the hell's wrong with you."

Brad thought about it. "I had a spiritual awakening of sorts. God's a woman, and she hates me."

Brad's a eunuch now.