what is the worst part about eating vegetables?
... putting the diaper back on when you are done.
What's blonde, had six legs and runs through Michael Jacksons dreams?
... Hanson.
bad joke
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Making a HONDA fast is like coming out of the closet, yeah you might suprise a few people; but in the end.. your still gay.
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Snap Dragon
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I think this is a trick more than a joke really?.....
There are 3 guys.....a normal man, a blind man, and deaf man. They have STOP when you say STOP in order to win a million dollars.
(THIS IS USUALLY DRAWN ON YOUR HAND)
________________________ STOP!
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ STOP!
____________________ STOP! ____________ STOP!____________________________ I said STOP!!! _________________ STOP! STOP! STOP! ___________
I did this on my little brother's hand before and he didn't get it until I had gotten from his wrist all the way to his second knuckle when he actually got it and pulled away......HE HE HE.......
There are 3 guys.....a normal man, a blind man, and deaf man. They have STOP when you say STOP in order to win a million dollars.
(THIS IS USUALLY DRAWN ON YOUR HAND)
________________________ STOP!
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ STOP!
____________________ STOP! ____________ STOP!____________________________ I said STOP!!! _________________ STOP! STOP! STOP! ___________
I did this on my little brother's hand before and he didn't get it until I had gotten from his wrist all the way to his second knuckle when he actually got it and pulled away......HE HE HE.......
Life is a Soap Opera... and you are the star...
A man is being rushed into the emergency room with major bleeding from a cut running from mid thigh to his anckle. They take him into the operating room where he doctor awaits:
Doctor:Well damn son, that one helluva gash. Better call the anesthesiologist.
Man:Nah Doc. Don't worry about it. I've had worse pain.
Doctor:Are you sure boy? We're talking about 300 plus stitches. Maybe 4!
Man:No problem Doc. Just stitch me.
So the doctor goes to work. About 2 hours later he steps back pulls off the gloves and examines his work. Confused he looks over at the man on the table:
Doctor:Son, I dunno how, but you just took 357 stitches without a flinch.
Man:Yeah Doc, I told you I've had worse pain.
Doctor:Well tell me about it.
Man:Bout three years ago I was out hunt'n buck. I had been waiting in my favorite spot for over 4 hours when I saw 16 points sticking out from a bush. I started moving to get a best shot. Unfortunatly it heard me and ran. So I followed. I'd never seen a buck like that before and had to have it! I moved slowly covered about a mile before I found it, but I did and I was smart this time. I slinked from bush to bush til I found the perfect angle. I raised my rifle and took aim. Began to squeeze the trigger and a beartrap snapped closed on my balls.
Doctor:Oh my gawd man! I understand...... Geez, your lucky to be alive!!
Man:Oh no way Doc! Yeah, that was bad but I have had worse pain...
Doctor:What the hell could be worse than having a bear trap on your balls!!!!!!
Man:Well Doc, it hurt so bad I started running............................
Ummm.....Bear traps are chained to trees
Doctor:Well damn son, that one helluva gash. Better call the anesthesiologist.
Man:Nah Doc. Don't worry about it. I've had worse pain.
Doctor:Are you sure boy? We're talking about 300 plus stitches. Maybe 4!
Man:No problem Doc. Just stitch me.
So the doctor goes to work. About 2 hours later he steps back pulls off the gloves and examines his work. Confused he looks over at the man on the table:
Doctor:Son, I dunno how, but you just took 357 stitches without a flinch.
Man:Yeah Doc, I told you I've had worse pain.
Doctor:Well tell me about it.
Man:Bout three years ago I was out hunt'n buck. I had been waiting in my favorite spot for over 4 hours when I saw 16 points sticking out from a bush. I started moving to get a best shot. Unfortunatly it heard me and ran. So I followed. I'd never seen a buck like that before and had to have it! I moved slowly covered about a mile before I found it, but I did and I was smart this time. I slinked from bush to bush til I found the perfect angle. I raised my rifle and took aim. Began to squeeze the trigger and a beartrap snapped closed on my balls.
Doctor:Oh my gawd man! I understand...... Geez, your lucky to be alive!!
Man:Oh no way Doc! Yeah, that was bad but I have had worse pain...
Doctor:What the hell could be worse than having a bear trap on your balls!!!!!!
Man:Well Doc, it hurt so bad I started running............................
Ummm.....Bear traps are chained to trees
Go away, I'm busy - Tessai
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths.So what's your story?"
So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed.As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."
"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.
The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.
"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.
The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.
"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."
So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed.As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."
"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.
The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.
"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.
The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.
"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."
If carpenters made buildings the way programmers make programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy all of civilization. Anonymous
LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH:
>Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says,
>"Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words,
>class. Does anybody have an example of a
>multi-syllable word?"
>BILLY says " Mas-tur-bate."
>Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY,
>that's a mouthful."
>Little BILLY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking
>of a blowjob."
>Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says,
>"Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words,
>class. Does anybody have an example of a
>multi-syllable word?"
>BILLY says " Mas-tur-bate."
>Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY,
>that's a mouthful."
>Little BILLY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking
>of a blowjob."
"It was inappropiate and definatly hott..."
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MahoganyDawn
- Kitten Vicious
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RavenLunatic
- Posts: 611
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why did the blind woman wear tight pants?
... so everyone could read her lips
whats the difference between a bowling ball and a cheerleader?
... you can't fit the cheerleader in a bowling ball.
... so everyone could read her lips
whats the difference between a bowling ball and a cheerleader?
... you can't fit the cheerleader in a bowling ball.
Making a HONDA fast is like coming out of the closet, yeah you might suprise a few people; but in the end.. your still gay.
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http://www.myspace.com/karmakaze
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http://www.myspace.com/karmakaze
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RavenLunatic
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