I awoke, with one killer of a headache, what happened to me, last thing I remember was being set upon by twenty ruffians who called themselves the local constabulatory, all for a stain in my best silk tunic. I opened a bleary eye and took in my surrounds and immediately wished I didnt..
It had been a fine spring day the day before, a light rain had come through the area, before I had reached that sty of a village, and unfortunately in awaking I found myself in a sty outside the village. Again, Outrage! Would the nightmare ever end. What had I done to deserve this? Why would father banish me from his kingdom, place me in this disgraceful position and besmirch me of my rightful place next to the throne...
I levered myself up out of the muck and tried very hard not to look at myself. My pack, thoroughly rifled was lying outside the sty, luckily for me. I did take it and hurry away, ashamed to enter in my present state. Wandering in to the nearby forest, I did perchance gain Lady Luck's favor again, for did I stumble across a stream. Peering about for any sign of people (for I am quite the modest individial) I did strip to the skin...
Stepping into the stream carefully, gods was that water cold, I did shiver and try to bathe myself as best I could, then I examined the ruined remains of my finery. A total loss. I sighed and took to washing out my silk shirt of the muck, mayhaps it would come in handy later for bandages. Silk does make quite the statement you know, in any type of apparel
Little did those ruffians know that my pack had been enchanted to have a dimensional pocket, where upon I could store the most fascinating of items, including several fine sets of the latest fashion in the courts (One would say that I could be a clothes horse but no, I have a saddle bag for the rest of my wardrobe
)
As I was searching through my pack for matching hose to go with my ebony pearl studded tunic (decisions, decisions) I heard a titter from behind me. I did then give out the most stentoriuous eek (very masculine, not at all like a mouse, honest) I spun, covering myself and grabbing for the nearest thing I could use as a weapon...
"Ooooo not gonna do something bad with that are you, big boy?" cooed a very earthy yet sexy voice. I closed my eyes just for a second, and then opened them again. There I was, naked from the waist down, clutching a bundle of forest green hose (which does not go well with the black tunic, especially with my eyes) over my
private parts. The other hand clutching a red satin ankle boot, with silver buckle...
What will become of our daring hero?
What of the mysterious stranger who did accost him?
And will his warcry become "One, Two, Buckle My Shoe"?
Tune in next time, for our exciting program
Prince of Thieves