two sausages were frying in a pan. One looks to the second and says "wow, it's getting hot in here" the second shouts "Holy shit! a talking sausage!"

a man is driving in the middle of nowhere when he comes upon a stop sign not seeing anyone around he slows down and rolls through the stop...outta nowhere a cop pulls out flashing his lights and sounding his siren...the guy pulls over and fishes out his license....when he gives the cop his license the cop says "I caught you running a stop sign Ill have to ticket you" the guy says "but officer there's no one around and I slowed down" the cops says "you must come to a stop at all stop lights sir" the guys says "stop slow down whats the diffrence?" then the cop snaps and pulls out his club and begins to beat the man viciously about the head and back as the guy cowers by his steering wheel the cop screams" now do you want me to stop or slow down?"

A minister is walking through an airport checkpoint and he gets stopped by a security guard because of the lump on his arm. The security guard says "Excuse me sir, but I need to see what's on your arm."
The minister takes his coat off and reveals a pair of little boys underwear. The guard asks him why it's there and the minister says "I'm on the patch. Don't tell."

What's small, screams, and can't turn corners?

A baby with a spear through it.

Q: What did the blind, deaf, and crippled kid get for Christmas?

A: Cancer.

Why did all the girls love Jesus?
















Because he was hung like this (holds out arms)

Arkady, a beaver and a real forum admin walk into a bar.

The bartender looks up and says " I told you guys not to bring that filthy thing in here again" The beaver says to the forum admin "But if we leave him at home he messes up the furniture".

A guy walks into a bar and instead of ordering his usual drink he gets a coke. The bartender asks,"Why not the usual shot?" The man replys, "Last night I got so shitfaced, I blew chunks!" The bartender says, "So, lots of people get sick sometimes." The guy replys, "But you don't understand, chunks is my dog!"

What's black and white and comes in little cans.




















Michael Jackson

Did you know Rosie Odonnell is Dead?

















She was found face down in Ricki Lake? EWWWWWWWWWW