Who accepts the Junkie Christ as thier personal saviour?

Imp · Post by **Imp** » Tue May 13, 2003 3:53 pm

junkie christ wrote:we wont nail you, instead i find we should let you nail others.......

Ah, but nail in what way? Nail as in steel and hammers, or nail as in "nail to the sheets?"

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Tue May 13, 2003 4:02 pm

Imp wrote:
junkie christ wrote:we wont nail you, instead i find we should let you nail others.......

Ah, but nail in what way? Nail as in steel and hammers, or nail as in "nail to the sheets?"

do i REALLY have to answer that?

Nexxus23 · Post by **Nexxus23** » Tue May 13, 2003 4:39 pm

...oh yea, thee who gather before thine, our Junkie, let us read from the Gonadic Texts of Junkie, passages 13 and 69...

Vs. 13-"Yea, thee shall pour windex in thine gentile neighbor's Kool Aid. Ye shall scream out a righteous 'Oh YEEAAHH!' as they drop like Jonestown groupies. They were UNBELIEVERS in the Junkie Christ! HEATHENS! INFIDELS! BUTT MONKEYS!"

Vs. 69-"Ye shall nail thine flock to thine sheets, but NAY, thee shall NOT if thine sheets match thine Underoos. Then ye must nail thine flock to thine fold-out couch. Unless it's stinky. Or sticky. Well, whatever..."

...hallelujah, praiseth the Junkie for all His goodly works, and yea, do we all not praiseth the Junkie within? Amen...

:P~

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Tue May 13, 2003 9:21 pm

Nexxus23 wrote:...oh yea, thee who gather before thine, our Junkie, let us read from the Gonadic Texts of Junkie, passages 13 and 69...

Vs. 13-"Yea, thee shall pour windex in thine gentile neighbor's Kool Aid. Ye shall scream out a righteous 'Oh YEEAAHH!' as they drop like Jonestown groupies. They were UNBELIEVERS in the Junkie Christ! HEATHENS! INFIDELS! BUTT MONKEYS!"

Vs. 69-"Ye shall nail thine flock to thine sheets, but NAY, thee shall NOT if thine sheets match thine Underoos. Then ye must nail thine flock to thine fold-out couch. Unless it's stinky. Or sticky. Well, whatever..."

...hallelujah, praiseth the Junkie for all His goodly works, and yea, do we all not praiseth the Junkie within? Amen...

neato. we just gotta find a way to reference texts with out the word gonad in it.

j/k.
and the fact your worked the word underoos into that makes you wanna my favoritest people on earth....
i gotta think of a disicple handle for you.....
thanks though. youve inspired me and im going to make a major sermon post in here tomorrow......... hehe
ATTN!
SPREAD THE WORD. im going to start posting sermons in here as soon as i finish writing them, i see no need for a second post for this so ill put it in here.. and do to keep the other thread going ill draw inspiration from questions in the ask J_C thread......
ive been planning this anyway, but because you got the word underoos in there, i feel ive been one uped and must down turn the heat up......hehe.....
this is where i start my standup career again i guess. hahaa.
more soon,
nex you fucking rule........

Shadow · Post by **Shadow** » Tue May 13, 2003 9:35 pm

"pokes JC"

Um, do we get coupon books or discount cards if we join?
Maybe a groovy membership card?

"licks JC on da nose"

"skips away into the unwashed masses holding her nose"

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Tue May 13, 2003 9:59 pm

Shadow wrote:"pokes JC"

Um, do we get coupon books or discount cards if we join?
Maybe a groovy membership card?

"licks JC on da nose"

"skips away into the unwashed masses holding her nose"

if people really wanted membership cards i could look into making some next week after sanctus......
ive been thinking of making cards for the gone as soon as we have a website (again), a full lineup (again), and a set of songs done for this lineup..... which all should be REALLY soon......
ill take a poll later on that if you remind me cuz i dont want to sink the money if noone will want em/ pass em out....

Nexxus23 · Post by **Nexxus23** » Tue May 13, 2003 11:30 pm

I want to hand out tracts to the infidels. I will witness to them the endless possibilities available to them if only they give their lives and souls over to the Junkie Christ, and give their wallets over to me.
After all, money just brings on all sorts of pain, stress, and nasty complications to life. I will teach the UNBELIEVER to learn SIMPLICITY before the JUNKIE!
Yes... simplicity... hmmm.....

Oh yeah! Praise Junkie! With His divine influence, I shall RID you of your EEEVILLL and your PAIN!! I shall rid you of SIN through Our Lord the Junkie! OUT DAMN GREMLIN! OUT I SAY! Oh, my brothers and sisters, I feel an EVIL in the congregation today! One of you has an EVIL GREMLIN in his heart! And that EVIL GREMLIN is CASH MONEY!! OOHH YEAH! My brothers and my sisters, my Great Aunts and my Thi-iiii-rrr-rd Cousins, give unto the collection plate! Give up thine EVIL GREMLINS of CASH MONEY!! Give of thine HEART! Give of thine SOUL! GIMME GIMME GIMME! CAN I GET A "PRAISE JUNKIE"? CAN I GET "AAAYY-MEN"? Oh, yeah... oooh, hallelujah, fill that plate...

*Nexxus23 collapses into anti-climactic coma brought on by a small cerebral aneurysm*

Shadow · Post by **Shadow** » Wed May 14, 2003 12:45 am

Nexxus23 wrote:I want to hand out tracts to the infidels. I will witness to them the endless possibilities available to them if only they give their lives and souls over to the Junkie Christ, and give their wallets over to me.
After all, money just brings on all sorts of pain, stress, and nasty complications to life. I will teach the UNBELIEVER to learn SIMPLICITY before the JUNKIE!
Yes... simplicity... hmmm.....

Oh yeah! Praise Junkie! With His divine influence, I shall RID you of your EEEVILLL and your PAIN!! I shall rid you of SIN through Our Lord the Junkie! OUT DAMN GREMLIN! OUT I SAY! Oh, my brothers and sisters, I feel an EVIL in the congregation today! One of you has an EVIL GREMLIN in his heart! And that EVIL GREMLIN is CASH MONEY!! OOHH YEAH! My brothers and my sisters, my Great Aunts and my Thi-iiii-rrr-rd Cousins, give unto the collection plate! Give up thine EVIL GREMLINS of CASH MONEY!! Give of thine HEART! Give of thine SOUL! GIMME GIMME GIMME! CAN I GET A "PRAISE JUNKIE"? CAN I GET "AAAYY-MEN"? Oh, yeah... oooh, hallelujah, fill that plate...

*Nexxus23 collapses into anti-climactic coma brought on by a small cerebral aneurysm*

"fans Nexxus with a big old ladytype hat"

Amen Sista.........Amen Brotha...........Praise be to da Junkie..........."tears flow"

Saint Ignatious · Post by **Saint Ignatious** » Wed May 14, 2003 2:21 am

Ok, so how do I fit into all this? I mean come on, I'm already a Saint.

karmakaze · Post by **karmakaze** » Wed May 14, 2003 11:36 am

i feel it necessary at this moment to make a little announcement....

i am God, and since JC is your personal savior (aka.. Jesus equivalent) then i am His Daddy. anyone who argues this shall be smitten, and remember kiddies.. there is no alcohol in hell.

Pharinet · Post by **Pharinet** » Wed May 14, 2003 12:07 pm

Now that I can finally frigg'n post again.

Like I have stated before, my property can be classified as a "compound". See as we have three structures, 3 acres(I am sure we will need more room to hold all the bodies,eventually), and all we are lacking is the razor wire fencing.

So yeah unto the Junkie Christ, His Daddy Karmakaze, and the chosen who have been spanked with the Holy Hand!

briarus · Post by **briarus** » Wed May 14, 2003 12:29 pm

hey is there a graven image associated with this? or mabye a graven image shop?

any symbols of power? like a twist tie or a paperclip?

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Wed May 14, 2003 12:59 pm

karmakaze wrote:i feel it necessary at this moment to make a little announcement....

i am God, and since JC is your personal savior (aka.. Jesus equivalent) then i am His Daddy. anyone who argues this shall be smitten, and remember kiddies.. there is no alcohol in hell.

the day i call any mortal man daddy or god is the day i turn my danzig collection in for pat boone.....
heed my warning children......
BEWARE FALSE IDOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Wed May 14, 2003 1:13 pm

Nexxus23 wrote:I want to hand out tracts to the infidels. I will witness to them the endless possibilities available to them if only they give their lives and souls over to the Junkie Christ, and give their wallets over to me.
After all, money just brings on all sorts of pain, stress, and nasty complications to life. I will teach the UNBELIEVER to learn SIMPLICITY before the JUNKIE!
Yes... simplicity... hmmm.....

Oh yeah! Praise Junkie! With His divine influence, I shall RID you of your EEEVILLL and your PAIN!! I shall rid you of SIN through Our Lord the Junkie! OUT DAMN GREMLIN! OUT I SAY! Oh, my brothers and sisters, I feel an EVIL in the congregation today! One of you has an EVIL GREMLIN in his heart! And that EVIL GREMLIN is CASH MONEY!! OOHH YEAH! My brothers and my sisters, my Great Aunts and my Thi-iiii-rrr-rd Cousins, give unto the collection plate! Give up thine EVIL GREMLINS of CASH MONEY!! Give of thine HEART! Give of thine SOUL! GIMME GIMME GIMME! CAN I GET A "PRAISE JUNKIE"? CAN I GET "AAAYY-MEN"? Oh, yeah... oooh, hallelujah, fill that plate...

*Nexxus23 collapses into anti-climactic coma brought on by a small cerebral aneurysm*

:have i told you lately that i loved you?: lol. where does he get those wonderful links?
my next sermon should be done by tonight and i hope it beats yours..... hahahaha. if i make those cards or and tracts, i will get your address first..... im greatly considering it.
your my minister of misinformation...... lol.
good luck with the coma.....
more really really really soon..........

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Wed May 14, 2003 1:14 pm

briarus wrote:hey is there a graven image associated with this? or mabye a graven image shop?

any symbols of power? like a twist tie or a paperclip?

YES THERE ARE.
ive currently got a friend working on some graphic art for my band, hes ALMOST done... i will reveal the signs as soon as hes done, they are very basic yet effective........
just bear with me till monday.........

Nexxus23 · Post by **Nexxus23** » Wed May 14, 2003 1:35 pm

junkie christ wrote: <snip>where does he* get those wonderful links?<snippity snip>

*She.

Google image search + enough caffiene to kill a musk ox = those wacky kooky links we have all come to love.

:fuckoff:

karmakaze · Post by **karmakaze** » Wed May 14, 2003 2:24 pm

junkie christ wrote:
karmakaze wrote:i feel it necessary at this moment to make a little announcement....

i am God, and since JC is your personal savior (aka.. Jesus equivalent) then i am His Daddy. anyone who argues this shall be smitten, and remember kiddies.. there is no alcohol in hell.

the day i call any mortal man daddy or god is the day i turn my danzig collection in for pat boone.....
heed my warning children......
BEWARE FALSE IDOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he is just upset because he has to be crucified by a bunch of romans. he will come around...

its me or alanis morissette... pick one.

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Wed May 14, 2003 2:37 pm

karmakaze wrote:
junkie christ wrote:
karmakaze wrote:i feel it necessary at this moment to make a little announcement....

i am God, and since JC is your personal savior (aka.. Jesus equivalent) then i am His Daddy. anyone who argues this shall be smitten, and remember kiddies.. there is no alcohol in hell.

the day i call any mortal man daddy or god is the day i turn my danzig collection in for pat boone.....
heed my warning children......
BEWARE FALSE IDOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he is just upset because he has to be crucified by a bunch of romans. he will come around...

its me or alanis morissette... pick one.

wrong christ. you got two of the letter right though.....
and again i repeat true believers.....
heed my warning children......
BEWARE FALSE IDOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Wed May 14, 2003 3:53 pm

Since for some reason there is some nonbelief.... i have my own psalms to hand to you all..
i often say the world is my muse-ICk-al. this is literally how i think.
Psalm 1
COME ONE COME ALL!
We’ve got midgets in corsets to be the pallbearers, the altar boys and everything in-between.
We have got all your hookers on loan from the GOP campaign headquarters, see them bust at the seam…
Come junkie, come whore, come liar, come bore, come one, come all, because we are all in the fall…..AND WE LOVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEE YOU.
don’t be ashamed! At the root of our problems, we share the same source of blame….
the outside world has tore you off cold…
so now we nicely piss in their shallow plastic molds….
COME ONE COME ALL THE SHOW NOW BEGINS!
And shall be the righteous, as they condemn our so called sin..
We embrace what they hate. The sex they repress. Men wearing a dress. But we don’t do it better, we just do it BEST.
Money is not evil, just the people who horde it, greed is the daemon that we must Uber-Cum……
The bastards at work control cash, BUT WE OWN THE GUNS.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Psalm 2
People cast out for being different, no clique takes you in?
THOSE MY CHILDREN ARE YOUR BRETHREN.
Let them keep the “pretty” or the “sane”.
People who create titles like that are the demons to blame.
In our flock NO TWO PEOPLE ARE THE SAME.
Yet others say they are sooooooo unique and soooooo original too.
Well how come theres multitudes of people who look just like you? No idea is original, someones had it before!
And if you deny that, you make yourself their whore…
They encourage division of rank…
and mass market our ideas so they can get BANK.
The method of our recruiting is right,
we comfort those alone screaming in the night…

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Psalm 3
THE WORLD IS MY MUSICAL AND YOUR JUST A STAGE HAND
WHAT YOU DO? WHAT YOU SAY? DOESN’T PHASE. IM IN COMMAND….
its not that I am not aware your there. YOU JUST AN EXTRA AND I DON’T FUCKING CARE.
THE WORDS OF THE COURT JESTER. THE SAYER OF TRUTH
I KNOW ALL YOUR SECRETS, NONE OF YOU HAVE USE.
unless you make a name on the stage, an answer to any prayer ive helped be prayed….
AT NIGHT DON’T WE ALL CRY OURSELVES TO DEATH?
AT NIGHT DON’T WE ALL CHOKE OUT OUR LAST BREATH?
NO we do not, that’s only the alone…..
and its my civil duty to give you all a home…
That’s your burden I shall take to bear…
Your never alone, the goners all care.
let me be the only one with noone there…
come midgets, come geeks, the overweight, the sex freaks,
The junkies, the whores, the drifter, the weak.
Eventually you’ll learn this is entire existence self defeats….
my gift to you is piece of mind, i take the burden you enjoy your time.

iblis · Post by **iblis** » Wed May 14, 2003 6:06 pm

Shadow wrote:
Nexxus23 wrote:I want to hand out tracts to the infidels. I will witness to them the endless possibilities available to them if only they give their lives and souls over to the Junkie Christ, and give their wallets over to me.
After all, money just brings on all sorts of pain, stress, and nasty complications to life. I will teach the UNBELIEVER to learn SIMPLICITY before the JUNKIE!
Yes... simplicity... hmmm.....

Oh yeah! Praise Junkie! With His divine influence, I shall RID you of your EEEVILLL and your PAIN!! I shall rid you of SIN through Our Lord the Junkie! OUT DAMN GREMLIN! OUT I SAY! Oh, my brothers and sisters, I feel an EVIL in the congregation today! One of you has an EVIL GREMLIN in his heart! And that EVIL GREMLIN is CASH MONEY!! OOHH YEAH! My brothers and my sisters, my Great Aunts and my Thi-iiii-rrr-rd Cousins, give unto the collection plate! Give up thine EVIL GREMLINS of CASH MONEY!! Give of thine HEART! Give of thine SOUL! GIMME GIMME GIMME! CAN I GET A "PRAISE JUNKIE"? CAN I GET "AAAYY-MEN"? Oh, yeah... oooh, hallelujah, fill that plate...

*Nexxus23 collapses into anti-climactic coma brought on by a small cerebral aneurysm*

"fans Nexxus with a big old ladytype hat"

Amen Sista.........Amen Brotha...........Praise be to da Junkie..........."tears flow"

After that outburst, you may want to make certain that tears are the only thing that's flowing.