Casual Sex....

forum for those that like conversation so mindless that their braincells pop like a confetti bomb at a strippers birthday party

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Can one still engage in sexual encounters ... no strings, no commitments?

Hell yeah, where do I sign up?
21
66%
Not possible...there are always complications.
4
13%
Only with those of the same sex.
0
No votes
Only if you significantly lower your standards of play.
7
22%
 
Total votes: 32

white_darkness
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Re: Casual Sex....

Post by white_darkness »

absinthe_minded wrote:The situation you encountered highlights the fundamental lack of confidence inherent in so many Goth Bois. What ever happened to predatory lust? What ever happened to plucking the fruit from the tree and taking big bites, whilst the juice runs down your chin and the sweet savoring stirs your senses? What ever happened to WANT, TAKE, HAVE?


American society has created a world that frowns upon being a "man".

You have to be sensitive and compassionate, while being an immovable rock that never looses control at any given moment in time.

You have to watch yourself constantly, since that single glance at a nice ass could get you landed in jail on harrassment charges.

Everywhere the male libido is under fire in society. I can't even look at a skirt at work without having to worry about losing my job, and there's some damn fine skirts up here.

Or the eternal problem of the "nice guy", knowing gobs of beautiful women who sit there and cry in your arms after getting shafted by some guy and then they sob "I just want a nice guy who'll care and take care of me" and you're left thinking "I'm right here, look at me" but you're "just a friend"...

People suck....I'm getting a drink on lunch now.
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Post by The Stormstress »

punkrockjoe
Were not all gone let me assure you...I'm a single guy with a lot of work ahead of me...this is exactually what Im looking for...A women to call my own would be cool...but with shit being the way it is this is perfect..just practice safe sex and be good friends and thats fucking it...(no pun intended)...and a note to the men from a man....first you trying to be sensitive is not getting you laid..so knock it off....there's a diffrence between being sensitive and being an outright pussy about things....we dont know the diffrence most of the time so we act like bitches instead of sensitive intelligent people....dont try it most of the time it's the females place....we should concentrate on progression on advancing our lives and our loved ones dont fix everything for them but be a source of strength and council....We live in a shitty world and with everyone holding hands and crying in circles we wont make a move tp put things right...I feel we have lost our ability to deal with women and the world around us because we are TOO FUCKIN SENSITIVE!!....I get that the average man now wants more emotional freedom...thats good but how you express it is important....crying is ok just in small doses...greving the loss of a loved one for example is cool but do you have to cry everytime you get into an argument with your girl?? Let your testicles desend and be a man about it...women have no right to tell us to be a man about shit...what do they know about being a man?? But as a proud member of the Royal Order of the Tripod I FUCKING CAN...We are sources of strength and resoursefullness the true measures of men...not your dick or how well you can cry....some of this sounds terribly old fashoined I know but in our pursuit to break out of our parents age we went to far in the other direction....scale it back a little fellas has your lady ever told you she wants you to go out with ya boys for beers and pool...that's a sign.....dont be a total dick or anything and beating your chick is not cool outside of fetish shit but your dumb jokes and your oh so suave subtle as a brick means of seduction maybe missed at this point so check yourself ....I couldnt say this if I wasnt living it myself....so come on men lets collect in smoky bars and auto garages and utter our collective grunt so that we may get out strength back....whatch fight club hundreds of times if it takes it...whatever works...just toughen up....you'll most likely get the things you want from life with a more confident approach....and oh yea....women are the str0nger gender deal with it...


ps Is this gonna get me laid???


Go Joe! ... & it just might, u never kno ... ;-) :twisted:
If u r such a vamp, then bite me, bitch! :twisted:
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Post by Mercurygriffin »

Look, plain and simple. If you got an need for some loving then just find someone random at a bar that doesn't look half bad to you. get your drink on, get their drink on, go find someplace and fuck. How hard is that? I am in an open relationship. This is not too unusual of a question. Now as far as men being men these days, we have turned into a bunch of wimps. We are worried that we can't get lucky. We look in the mirror and ask "what should I wear to make it look like I actually have some abs?" No body has the self esteem to say what they want and if they actually do it is from another personallity. I do cry on occasion but usually it is because I have a sceaming head ache, I've cut my self open and I am tener (mind I coterize my own wounds and know alot about first aid with the use of everyday stuff) or I have come to the end of a relationship and after the crying comes the drinking and the need to self destruct. I can't speak for the other males but that is where I stand.
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Post by div »

casual sex? amen. the line starts at the door. you may bring your own slimy mauve lampshade made of rat entrails if you wish.
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Post by LordHades »

The only fundamental underlying issue I have with casual sex is a disturbing lack of it. Now, how to fix that..

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Post by Scorptrio »

Junkie Christ wrote:umm scorpy what the hell was that???


That was an insightful, relevant and entertaining essay which addresses relationships, casual sex, sex drive, romance, desire, secrecy, deceit, love, life-and-death, betrayal, regret, consequences and more. It's written from a perspective which isn't typical, but this is to emphasize the points being made. Most people have only the perspective from behind their own two eyes and stepping out of the literal world can sometimes allow them to see things a little differently than they usually do. It uses a lot of three and four syllable words, which I realize puts off a lot of people from the start and the length probably kept many from reading it at all. Oh well, you can't float a battleship in a swimming pool. There are no easy answers, though I cast my vote on the poll anyway. I've been in serious relationships, had casual sex, been in "friends with more" situations and probably a few pairings which defy any labels. That essay was written about the time I started my first casual-sex association, and my views have changed since then. It was my expectation that it would be thought-provoking and save me the time of writing anything comprehensive which gave the two topics their due. Better to be provocative than opinionated, even if it doesn't end up provoking a worthwhile response. Quite honestly I don't have the time.

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Post by Ryuu_Draven »

*cough*
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Post by Illearia »

I agree that casual sex can be invigorating and comforting especially since I once was a person who enjoyed it very much. But, I found that I was doing it subconsciencely for all the wrong reasons. Really I thought that I was having fun and later found that really I was doing it to feel that I was wanted and appealing to the oppisite sex. I had and still have a bad self image and self esteem, but sex is not going to help me overcome it. In fact, casual sex can cause more harm than good in the time the world is in today. I would say that I was 100% careful but only 99% safe. Something can always go wrong and you can be that 1% who can end up with something harmful. I guess in a way this is my coming out, I have HPV. My husband most likely has it now as well. I don't know how I got or by who because symptoms sometimes do not show up on males. I have always used a condom but found that you can get it from hands as well. It does more damage to women than to men because it causes cervical abnormailities and cervical cancer. I know the cancer part of it well, and girls, it hurts like hell to have a cervical biopsy. So, far I have been clear for almost a year now. Mine is not external HPV its internal.

I guess what I'm saying is that no matter what, you are not 100% safe. Your not just sleeping with that one or even two people, your having sex with every person they have slept with.

This is a big step for me to unveil these things to you, and some of you who have met me in person might think of me differently but this is the place where sometimes it can be a confessional. Well, this is my confession. Maybe confessing this might make a difference in someone's decision someday. That's all that matters to me is making a difference in even one small decision.
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The Stormstress
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Post by The Stormstress »

Certainly, safety iz priority 1! There iz, however, alwayz a degree ov risk ... The same iz tru ov walking outside ur house, getting n2 a motor vehicle, eating the food u r served n a restaurant, or damn near n-e-thing else ... Cazual sex iz not 4 every1, nor r bungee jumping & storm chasing... Whatever u do n life, u can prepare ur best & take ur chancez like the rest ... IMHO, being 2 afraid 2 liv iz far worse than death ...
If u r such a vamp, then bite me, bitch! :twisted:
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Post by The Fallen »

All posturing aside, yeah I'm a man (I checked) :mrgreen: and I may be sensitive but I'm not weepy. I'm not some macho stud either, I'm myself, I accept that. If you can't that's your own problem. Deal.

/sensitve mode on
As for casual sex, there are two ways it can come about. Either its just a fuck or its not, but its not all about testosterone, it can also be about compassion. Being there, as a friend, can mean more then just lust even if its a one night thing or a constant. Reaching out and connecting on a more personal level, although that has more danger sometimes then its worth. And I was going somewhere with this but well... shiny... :P
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Post by Hardcoregirl »

LordHades wrote:
What's the point of all this? Can't say I've got one... just killing time.

LordHades


I just like to rant sometimes...I agree with you on about 90 percent of what you said.

I don't care for manicured lawns (I had one anthro professor talk about how more liberal people don't worry so much about having control over their environment and are more likely to have more natural lawns than the more conservative). I meant more like things that *need* to be done...being more productive than wasting away on computer games...(though I have accepted that all men play video games, its just part of the territory, they just shoudn't me more important than moi...)

Smoking-I never started either. Thank goodness.

As for the dog thing-understand that too. I used to live in town, but now I live out in the country and my little yappy dogs (hehe-they aren't that small) can roam free. My poor cat has to deal with them though.

Skills I have that a lot of men lack (besides the excellent slow head..LOL)...well, I've lived by myself since I was 14 and out of necessity have had to deal with lots of things without anyone elses assistance. Nothing fancy, but if I had to, I am resourceful enough to fix something that needs fixing if it is within the realm of a normal human being without special training. For example, last week, I replaced a light switch in my house. I bet that lots of men on here have never done that and wouldn't even try to do it if it needed to be done. I guess, I just mean, I like resourcefullness and taking the initiative.

And I like power tools dammit. I want a wood shop so I can make nifty stuff.

Mechanical knowledge isn't a top priority, but at least knowing how to change oil and check fluids and do dirty stuff I'd rather not deal with is nice...lol.

And yeah, I have only met one worthwhile guy in a bar and that was more like meeting someone through a close friend who happened to bring him to a bar.

Another reason, besides the recent theft of my purse from a bar, and just being sick of it, that I think I'm gonna hang up my clubbing shoes. I do like to dance and to socialize...but, being up that late is not productive for me, and neither is hanging out with drunk people and coke heads. I think I'll reserve my being out that late for concerts. I'm 24, and I'm looking at graduate school. There is nothing in clubbing for me that is gonna benefit me anymore and its just a waste of my money.

Though after doing it for 10 years (I used to sneak into the Underground when I was 14 all the time) it may be a little hard to give completely, but then again, as long as I keep up with my friends, I doubt I'll miss it much, and then I'll be able to completely avoid so much I don't like.

It was pretty off topic, but I was motivated by punkrockjoe's response.
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Post by LordHades »

I just like to rant sometimes...I agree with you on about 90 percent of what you said.


A good rant never hurt anyone.. Can help you put things in perspective, get things off your chest, and entertain me in the wee hours of the morning. All very good reasons to rant away :)

As for being productive, I'd be damned if I didn't agree with you, and thrice damned if I didn't admit I fail at it more often than I succeed. Mind you, my priorities are a bit skewed, and there ain't all that much to DO at 5 AM when you've got people sleeping above you but game or watch movies.. But even then, I could afford to tighten up a bit and direct my attentions to more important things.. Like socializing with interesting people.

Excellent slow head... The mind could reel from the possible inferences that could be made from that.. but having read your webpage, I already knew what to expect :P As for the rest, well.. That is quite interesting, and I'm sure there's a story to it, but I won't pry. And to the replacing light switches and whatnot.. To tell the truth, I've never lived alone, and there's always been someone more eager or vastly more qualified for handyman projects than myself in the household, so I never really had to deal with it. Growing up around construction sites, and working off and on in that business back in Florida, I'm comfortable around tools, even the power sort :P But I'm more inclined towards outdoor projects.. trimming limbs, downing dead trees, etc.. And there ain't that much call for it in city life.

As for power tools, yeah, I respect what a person can do with a lathe or tablesaw.. But I just prefer to work with a blade directly.. Feels.. I dunno.. More natural, maybe?

Can't fault you on the grunge factor, it's always nice to have someone deal with the messy work when it comes to automobiles.
I still hold that I'm better off taking it to a mechanic who knows my vehicle though. A little attention now and then from a professional can spot things before they get out of hand.

As for the club scene, while I'm sure there are some redeeming qualities, I never got into it when I was younger, and doubt that's going to change much at my age (24, to be precise). The occasional Sanctus fuffils any self-destructive need to be shut in a smokey room with a large group of intoxicated strangers dancing to music I don't recognize and generally being much too cool to get an indication of what they're actually like. Sorry if that came off a bit harsh, I'm probably just not hip enough for the scene..

As for off topic, I've found that including a random one-line reply to the original post typically eliminates any such criticism.. So in the spirit of The Fraternal Order of CYA..

It occurs to me that casual sex amongst friends would potentially be a little complicated if not clear, but would be alot more rewarding at the same time. Certain entertaining and rewarding activities require a level of trust, understanding, and even preparation between two people that simply isn't available with a random hookup with a virtual stranger. Not to sound like a sissy, but there's already enough of a risk with the range of std's available.. I wanna at least know who I'm playing with before the handcuffs and blindfold go on.

Ok, not a one-liner, but then I've always been a little overly verbose before bed.
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Post by absinthe_minded »

The Stormstress wrote:Certainly, safety iz priority 1! There iz, however, alwayz a degree ov risk ... The same iz tru ov walking outside ur house, getting n2 a motor vehicle, eating the food u r served n a restaurant, or damn near n-e-thing else ... Cazual sex iz not 4 every1, nor r bungee jumping & storm chasing... Whatever u do n life, u can prepare ur best & take ur chancez like the rest ... IMHO, being 2 afraid 2 liv iz far worse than death ...


Although I would have refrained from the orthographic vandalism, I could not have said it better.

Frankly, I have an acquaintance who is a retired porn star and a very active swinger. She has been with THOUSANDS of partners of both sexes, rarely uses condoms, and remains quite healthy. She is also one of the most honest, intelligent, confident, self-actualized women I've ever encountered. She is the kind of human being that Robert Heinlein envisioned we would all have to be if we are to travel the stars.

There is very little that is rewarding in life that doesn't involve some risk. The other day, when Spaceshipone won the X-Prize, there was a test pilot commenting on TV about how good it was to see some individuals who were willing to take risks and move society forward. He said we were a risk-averse culture nowadays, and that's why we don't seem to accomplish much.

There is certainly a difference between being bold and being reckless, but I think it is important to be true to your nature. If that includes being a sexual libertine, so be it. To be anything else would mean living a lie.

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Post by lupa »

When I posted this question, I knew there would be quite the response, and I am glad for the honesty...this is quite the instinctual subject.

I realise I may have placed a typical label upon myself, but I am comfortable with that.

I love to love, but I am not interested at this point in my life to fall in love, I prefer companionship, and I would love for this companionship to be with someone I can share feelings, emotions and intimacy, but not complicate things with longterm plans or promises that life won't allow.

I do have standards. And I refuse to just step to a bar, get liqoured up and fuck some stranger. That idea disgusts me. I need a connection...I need the lust, the desire. The glances, the flirt, the foreplay.

I enjoy being intimate, I enjoy lovemaking, and right now I am not engaging in either. If I do have a chance to get out for some time alone and I see someone ... across the room, and their eyes lock with mine, and I feel that burning, that rush...sometimes...just sometimes I wish I could act on it....rarely do I.

This doesn't in any way reflect my esteem or confidence. And it goes without saying that there is a risk and protection is required. That wasn't what I meant when I asked the question....

I wanted to know if desire was dead...if human sexual instinct had gone up in smoke.

Thank you all for your comments, some were quite moving...
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Post by absinthe_minded »

lupa wrote:I wanted to know if desire was dead...if human sexual instinct had gone up in smoke.


Desire is not dead, nor love. It is merely more often caged, like the beast that paces behind the bars, clinging to the memory of the hunt.

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Post by LordHades »

Desire is not dead, nor love. It is merely more often caged, like the beast that paces behind the bars, clinging to the memory of the hunt.


I've always thought it more diverted into other avenues of less resistance and less risk. It's always there, it's too overwhelmingly powerful to not weave itself into every aspect of life, but the means of its expression, and the direction it takes is often quite deviant due to societal and personal pressures. On the one hand, this theory holds that if the societal boundries of sexual exploration as a natural part of maturing weren't so harsh, then people would be far more well-adjusted and realistic about their expectations. The other side of this is that without that innate frustration of denied desire during one's youth, there'd be far fewer super-freaky goth chicks in the world, which is quite frankly a completely unacceptible proposition.
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Post by iblis »

There's nothing wrong with casual sex. If Fucko and Fuckee want to get it on, they should fuck.

It's that simple.

Buttercup wrote:resourcefullness and taking the initiative.

I translate this to putting the drink down long enough to read the fucking manual, and hope shit doesn't blow up too much.

Unless you're at a friend's house. Then blowing shit up can become a well-spent afternoon¹.

¹ - Because regardless of whatever mindless criteria people come up with for being a "Real Man", real men like to blow shit up.
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Post by Silver Frost »

punkrockjoe wrote:I agree with buttercup on that one...and oh yea I sorta quoted myself by accident so just so you know it was me punkrockjoe that said all that shit just so you fella's know who to try and beat up later..... ;)


I agree with what you said. Guys should listen to you..lol
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Post by white_darkness »

iblis wrote:¹ - Because regardless of whatever mindless criteria people come up with for being a "Real Man", real men like to blow shit up.


Now that's a beautiful statement. There's nothing more beautiful than watching some object shatter into a motley assortment of little pieces that have little in common with the original.
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Re: Casual Sex....

Post by BlackCat »

white_darkness wrote:
absinthe_minded wrote:The situation you encountered highlights the fundamental lack of confidence inherent in so many Goth Bois. What ever happened to predatory lust? What ever happened to plucking the fruit from the tree and taking big bites, whilst the juice runs down your chin and the sweet savoring stirs your senses? What ever happened to WANT, TAKE, HAVE?


American society has created a world that frowns upon being a "man".

You have to be sensitive and compassionate, while being an immovable rock that never looses control at any given moment in time.

You have to watch yourself constantly, since that single glance at a nice ass could get you landed in jail on harrassment charges.

Everywhere the male libido is under fire in society. I can't even look at a skirt at work without having to worry about losing my job, and there's some damn fine skirts up here.

Or the eternal problem of the "nice guy", knowing gobs of beautiful women who sit there and cry in your arms after getting shafted by some guy and then they sob "I just want a nice guy who'll care and take care of me" and you're left thinking "I'm right here, look at me" but you're "just a friend"...

People suck....I'm getting a drink on lunch now.


You come out tomarrow night Greg I will buy you a drink or maybe 5...
"There's so much happiness behind these tears."
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