Secrets of the Universe

doctorthoss · Post by **doctorthoss** » Mon May 19, 2003 3:53 pm

I bow before your infinite wisdom, of Great One (although the Ronald McDonald/Carrothead answer nearly sent me into an epilectic fit).

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Mon May 19, 2003 5:11 pm

doctorthoss wrote:(although the Ronald McDonald/Carrothead answer nearly sent me into an epilectic fit).

Sometimes I am the verbal equivalent of Iblis, I suppose.

Now I have a question. What the frig is the Sanctus handstamp supposed to be? It's partly washd off, and looks like a one-eyed gecko smiling.

ophelia · Post by **ophelia** » Mon May 19, 2003 6:46 pm

Jack wrote:
doctorthoss wrote:(although the Ronald McDonald/Carrothead answer nearly sent me into an epilectic fit).

Sometimes I am the verbal equivalent of Iblis, I suppose.

Now I have a question. What the frig is the Sanctus handstamp supposed to be? It's partly washd off, and looks like a one-eyed gecko smiling.

It is the Fist of God, ready to smite all those who refuse to Safety Dance.

TiredWings · Post by **TiredWings** » Mon May 19, 2003 8:29 pm

Who was the first Vampire?

Who is the creepiest individual alive, Christopher Walken, Christopher Lee, or Peter Kushing?

Why can't we execute,Eminem, 50 cent, Nelly, et. all?

iblis · Post by **iblis** » Mon May 19, 2003 10:09 pm

Jack wrote:
doctorthoss wrote:(although the Ronald McDonald/Carrothead answer nearly sent me into an epilectic fit).

Sometimes I am the verbal equivalent of Iblis, I suppose.

That is quite the disturbing thought.

Now I have a question. What the frig is the Sanctus handstamp supposed to be? It's partly washd off, and looks like a one-eyed gecko smiling.

I had always thought it was a stylised "f".

Or a skewered and amputated penis.

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Tue May 20, 2003 12:12 am

1. I'm not aware that there has been a first vampire.

2. For the most part, everyday people are far creepier than most movie stars. For celebrities, being a creep is an affectation; for a normal person, being a creep indicates an underlying belief in and embracing of creepyness.

3. We can't execute Eminem because some people have very valid arguments that his music is actually rather good, and besides that, murdering a pop star you don't like is so much more trouble to go to than simply avoiding their music, or not caring about it. I assure you, Eminem doesn't go around talking about how much he hates Garth Brooks.

TiredWings · Post by **TiredWings** » Tue May 20, 2003 12:18 pm

1 good point
2 good point
3 but murder would be so much more fun.

OmeGaDucK · Post by **OmeGaDucK** » Wed May 21, 2003 9:15 am

1.) What happened to McDonald's old happy meal toys? When did they start going all horribly wrong?

2.) How many licks DOES it take??

3.) Given that the universe is infinite, and that Jack is also infinite.
Would you like a ham and cheese bramble?

4.) New Kids On The Block VS. The Backstreet Boys...
Who would eat Mike Tyson's ear???

5.) How do you like yer oatmeal?

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Wed May 21, 2003 1:04 pm

1. McDonald's used to give you things like spy binoculars that let you see up to ten feet away and costumed Hello Kittys. Hey - at least the extremely short-lived trend of selling Backstreet Boys and N*Sync CDs at fast-food joints has died down.

2. Ever known a girl whose skill at oral sex was tantamount to a superpower? Some nights I wake up screaming, wondering if she wasn't so good because she was a hooker. Then I remember she was just a professional dominatrix. Then I wonder how much difference, really, there is between the two. Then I remember she bought me the best pot I've ever smoked and never tried to get all whips and chains in our bedroom. Then I remember she gave me that black leather jacket (the one I still wear to this day). Then I remember she was so hot I literally couldn't believe how much she liked me. Then I remember that when we weren't having sex or hanging out in Toronto goth clubs, she was vaguely boring, so I don't really regret breaking up with her, because Cathy is better in almost every way.

3. I'm not infinite; just infinitely capable of amusing myself. I'm a lot like God, in that respect.

4. I saw a live interview after Tyson's last boxing match, and man, he is a weird dude. He was all strung out, and said things like "You know man, I gotta lot of shit wrong with me right now".

5. Oatmeal is like Ramen Noodles - they're not actually very good, but every now and then you just have to throw down and get some.

labluegirl · Post by **labluegirl** » Wed May 21, 2003 10:10 pm

Jack wrote:1. McDonald's used to give you things like spy binoculars that let you see up to ten feet away and costumed Hello Kittys.

ya the hello kitties were from like a year ago. i still have mine. i think if one is a Kid Of Today, they still have good toys. they have mini Bratz dolls right now, come on. and in the commercial, ronald is wearing gold glitter platform clown shoes. ronald mcdonald gives me nightmares.

because Cathy is better in almost every way.

3. I'm not infinite; just infinitely capable of amusing myself. I'm a lot like God, in that respect.

see avatar

4. I saw a live interview after Tyson's last boxing match, and man, he is a weird dude. He was all strung out, and said things like "You know man, I gotta lot of shit wrong with me right now".

i actually decided i Like mike tyson after seeing that interview. he was also very respectful to his opponent. he was all like "man, this is just my job, i've got kids to feed, and so does he. it's not about winning or losing. i just gotta get paid"

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Thu May 22, 2003 1:07 am

decode this universal mystery for me:
after over 20 years of insomnia, why cant i stay awake now....

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Fri May 23, 2003 1:19 pm

junkie christ wrote:decode this universal mystery for me:
after over 20 years of insomnia, why cant i stay awake now....

There's already been a cheezy horror movie where the badguy was simply "Death", so when they make one where the badguy is "Time", he can be played by Arnold Schwarzenegger, and the whole movie can be him walking toward the victim while the victim runs away.

Wait, I just described The Terminator, didn't I?

karmakaze · Post by **karmakaze** » Fri May 23, 2003 1:40 pm

what is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Fri May 23, 2003 3:13 pm

karmakaze wrote:what is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?

Let me get the obvious joke out of the way: 42.

Now, on to some more original content:

1. Life is an accident. If the Universe had its druthers, there wouldn't be any messy lifeforms mucking up the works. Think of it this way - the Universe is a giant clock, and lifeforms (especially those with free will) are like pesky little mice that keep running around screwing up the efficiency rating.

2. Our Universe is exactly half of reality; the other half is where you are in those occassional dreams you have that seem "odd".

3. The answer to everything? More!

miz kitty · Post by **miz kitty** » Fri May 23, 2003 5:29 pm

Not to be a buttinski, but I once read a theory that Lillith, the mythical first wife of Adam, became the first vampire after she was banished from Eden. I'm not sure I believe that, but it is an interesting theory.

Also, the sky is blue beacuse if it was green we wouldn't know where to stop mowing the lawn.

Here's a question: Why are some chemicals called a universal solvent? Doesn't it stand to reason that if there really was such a thing as a universal solvent there would never be a way to contain it and it would disssolve pretty much everything in its path?

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Fri May 23, 2003 9:52 pm

miz kitty wrote:Here's a question: Why are some chemicals called a universal solvent? Doesn't it stand to reason that if there really was such a thing as a universal solvent there would never be a way to contain it and it would disssolve pretty much everything in its path?

Wouldn't that be a Universal dissolvent, then?

Otherwise - ya got me stumped. Congrats.