Random Junkie Christ Thread

Codeine Coma · Post by **Codeine Coma** » Fri Mar 05, 2004 5:08 am

1. Since Multiplication is better than addition for adding groups of numbers, what is better than multiplication?

2. What's the purpose of Nuns staying abstinent from sex, when the priests get whatever they want?

3. What's the crappiest made condom?

4. If I eat onion everyday for a week , will my sweat smell and taste like onion?

5. Is it going to snow again this year?

6. If God is all powerfull and created everything, what created him/her?

7. How come late at night I tend to become more aware of the cops than in the day?

8. If I made a snowman with a thousand pounds of snow, and the temperature stayed 40 degrees, how long would it take it to melt?

9. How come Jesus never marketed his sandles?

10. Why do prostitutes in Knoxville generally look like they smell?

11. If a paradox has no begining or end....when does it start?

12. Would you take a free trip to Atlanta?

13. How come almost all people who work in Government buildings, never smile at me when I wear my Anarchy T-Shirt?

14. Who invented electricity first?

15. Could you drink 7 beers and eat a loaf of white bread in less than 30min. ?

Sorry so many questions...kinda speeding tonight.

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Fri Mar 05, 2004 3:37 pm

gwenhwyfar wrote:i am filled to the brim with boredom. nothing left to do at work, yet i must still remain here for another hour and a half. so i thought i would question the great junkie.

1)why does my dog feel it necessary to jump on my breasts to wake me up in the morning? it hurts, especially after recent piercing.
2)why do my nerves always bother me? and even more than usual this past week.
3)why hasn't the custodian come to change my fucking trash yet?
4)going out tomorrow night, what should i wear? and don't say nothing.
5)why am i so tired despite the fact that i have had plenty of sleep, caffine, food and water?
i'll leave it at that for now. i'm going to go see if i can find something to do other than get paid to post on KG.

1)because its a good dog and doesnt understand the concept of metal in the boobies
2)because your too uptight! seek an enema and really good workout sex and it will do your nerves wonders (not joking).
3)because hes doing a large amount of narcotics to adjust his transition into the witness relocation program. he is the real GWB. the one thats prez, hes an android built in hell by dick cheney.... its a crazy world we live in man.....
4)Something you can flash the new piercings out in. Will really assist in the picking up men if you can randomly flip the metal out... hehe okok im joking. the outfit you had on a few avatars back with the hat? ohh yea. do that.
5)too much of those 4 things will make you tired. also may want to start checking your blood sugar (your blood sugar can shify without being a diabetic....)

NEXT~

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Fri Mar 05, 2004 3:52 pm

Codeine Coma wrote:1. Since Multiplication is better than addition for adding groups of numbers, what is better than multiplication?

anal sex

2. What's the purpose of Nuns staying abstinent from sex, when the priests get whatever they want?

HAHAH! because (if your a blues brothers fan) the nuns have to abstain so they can be angry and beat rulers over your knuckles....

3. What's the crappiest made condom?

gas station condoms and lifestyles wet and wilds. far as i know they break the most..... at least for me.

4. If I eat onion everyday for a week , will my sweat smell and taste like onion?

Sweat? probably. Pee? oh yea..

5. Is it going to snow again this year?

oh yea. towards the end of it. march typically marks the end of the snowy season.

6. If God is all powerfull and created everything, what created him/her?

Insert faith here. Insert what your faith tells you here. if you have no faith, this question doesnt apply... lol

7. How come late at night I tend to become more aware of the cops than in the day?

because you know they are more aware of you...

8. If I made a snowman with a thousand pounds of snow, and the temperature stayed 40 degrees, how long would it take it to melt?

depends on what casts shadows over the snowman and the amount of sun contra the elevation that it recieves. also depends on what passers by do to maniuplate it. like if i start a trashcan fire in it.... yea its gonna melt faster....

9. How come Jesus never marketed his sandles?

Jesus didnt try to make profit on anything. thats the work of stupid white people trying to make millions from their faith. and ask mel gibson this one. im sure within a year there will be "the passion" sandals that mel transcribed from terds in his living room...

10. Why do prostitutes in Knoxville generally look like they smell?

one word answer: CRACK

11. If a paradox has no begining or end....when does it start?

when the paradox is mentioned and exists only as long as the memory is in memory [/quantum theory]

12. Would you take a free trip to Atlanta?

yea. ATL is a happening town, the older i get and the more educated i get the more money i can make in ATL. So yea, id do it just to job shop....

13. How come almost all people who work in Government buildings, never smile at me when I wear my Anarchy T-Shirt?

they agree with you, they are just too afraid of getting fired for saying it.

14. Who invented electricity first?

the cloud that shot the first lightning bolt.

15. Could you drink 7 beers and eat a loaf of white bread in less than 30min. ?

yea im sure i could.
and the next time i took a shit id kill you for baiting me into it...

call me this week sometime.

Coor · Post by **Coor** » Fri Mar 05, 2004 4:04 pm

But I don't live with my rents Junkie, and I can't tell them to fuck off until i get all of my graduation money first. Hey, my bro got 2 grand when he graduted, I'm getting my share. Why haven't you PM'ed me those pictures from last Friday?

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Fri Mar 05, 2004 6:01 pm

Coor wrote:But I don't live with my rents Junkie, and I can't tell them to fuck off until i get all of my graduation money first. Hey, my bro got 2 grand when he graduted, I'm getting my share. Why haven't you PM'ed me those pictures from last Friday?

becayse my life has been hectic as fuck lately
when i get time...

gwenhwyfar · Post by **gwenhwyfar** » Fri Mar 05, 2004 7:18 pm

i love you junkie! :kiss:

Coor · Post by **Coor** » Fri Mar 05, 2004 7:28 pm

Thanks Junkie! Hey can I wear your hat again? You have to admit, I look damn sexy in the Junkie hat! Oh, I was an anal soilder today, spreading the safety of anal. This was a good story though. This chick was asking how safe it was, of course I told her that I didn't think so, bu tthen again you can't take that advice from someone who doesn't fuck either. So, I told her i could give her advice from you, technically because you tell it to me so much , LOL

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Fri Mar 05, 2004 8:51 pm

Coor wrote:Thanks Junkie! Hey can I wear your hat again? You have to admit, I look damn sexy in the Junkie hat! Oh, I was an anal soilder today, spreading the safety of anal. This was a good story though. This chick was asking how safe it was, of course I told her that I didn't think so, bu tthen again you can't take that advice from someone who doesn't fuck either. So, I told her i could give her advice from you, technically because you tell it to me so much , LOL

can you wear my hat again? maybe...........................
anal? spread em... i mean the word of course...

iblis · Post by **iblis** » Sat Mar 06, 2004 10:24 am

Codeine Coma wrote:6. If God is all powerfull and created everything, what created him/her?

Oh oh! I know this one!

Buttsex.

Only anal sex could generate and propagate enough quantum energy to sustain that powerful of an entity.

How did the buttsex happen, when God was supposed to have come before all? Only Buddha and Kali know...

Coor · Post by **Coor** » Sat Mar 06, 2004 11:06 am

WOOHOO! I wanna wear the Junkie hat! Are you coming to Santcus this month? *plots evil plan*

Yes I knew you'd be prouding of me spreading it, the word that it.

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Sat Mar 06, 2004 2:38 pm

iblis wrote:
Codeine Coma wrote:6. If God is all powerfull and created everything, what created him/her?

Oh oh! I know this one!

Buttsex.

Only anal sex could generate and propagate enough quantum energy to sustain that powerful of an entity.

How did the buttsex happen, when God was supposed to have come before all? Only Buddha and Kali know...

ok now your going to hell
:roofle:

the word is spreading like wildfire

iblis · Post by **iblis** » Sat Mar 06, 2004 3:22 pm

Why does sushi taste so damn good?
Why have I started learning VB?
And why did I have a dream last night of children being bounced around as marionettes, with their veins and innards being used as "strings"?

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Sat Mar 06, 2004 3:58 pm

iblis wrote:Why does sushi taste so damn good?
Why have I started learning VB?
And why did I have a dream last night of children being bounced around as marionettes, with their veins and innards being used as "strings"?

1) why does the river flow? why dont the fish make a sound? Why do the creatures of the sea taste good raw with some rice and spice? BECAUSE THAT IS THE WAY OF THE WORLD! naa we need the the quiznoa spoogemonkeys to do sushi adds.. THEY ARE YUMMY THEY ARE RAW BUT THEY DONT BLEED SO YOU CAN EAT THEM!
and in conclusion, because sushi fans have the balls to stick it in their mouth. after they do, they discover its yummy!
2)because VB.NET is actually pretty useful and has most of the functionality of other languages... its a real lang now and it has some very useful features to it... but its more likely theres only two langs left for you to learn and mindfuck is too hardcore for anyone.....seriously, get vb.net. other versions of vb arent particularly useful...ill hook you up with shit next time i see you....
other than that... boredom? Vb can get really intense with the error handling and exceptions and shit like that... most people dont do like a full VB project to learn that. yet most contracted software i see is either JAVA or VB.net so obviously someones using it............
3)because your creative wet dreams show what your next flash animaiton should be...........................
seriously thats pretty sweet.

RavenLunatic · Post by **RavenLunatic** » Sun Mar 07, 2004 11:40 pm

Once & for all, why did the damn chicken cross the road?? Your hypothesis, please.......

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Mon Mar 08, 2004 1:39 am

because the chicken was the first of the animals to notice the change in what was normally a quiet Hiroshima day.... but upon the blink of white that blinded the chicken it took off running in its typical fashion, yet a small school boy was holding his new pocket knife out when the flash went off and the chicken was decapitated.
now anyone who ever lived on a farm will tell you that if you cut a chickens head off it can still run around before it dies
anyone who studies will tell you its impulses in its nervous system
but what noone tells you is some boys chicken saw the flash in Hiroshima and ran into a boys pocket knife, clearing its head as it ran into the street only to be decimated by nuclear flame moments before a car would have ran over it at a slow speed.......
in closing, crossed the road because a nuclear flare blinded it, forcing it to be decapitated and it ran across the street in a set of nervous system flashes

lovechild · Post by **lovechild** » Mon Mar 08, 2004 8:49 am

why the hell do baby showers have to be so damn complicating???? anwser me that!

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Mon Mar 08, 2004 11:43 am

lovechild wrote:why the hell do baby showers have to be so damn complicating???? anwser me that!

in comparison to the next few years.... its not. :twisted:

seriously though, its as complicated as ya make it.
id sit back and enjoy while you can.....

lovechild · Post by **lovechild** » Mon Mar 08, 2004 12:46 pm

im trying to, but my mother is putting a limit on how many people i can invite....and she says only 2 maybie 3 from the soon to be fathers side...

Yes, i am aware the upcoming years will be hard....but right now its my mother who never seems to stop talking,and makes what could be a 3 minute convo into a 45 minute one...

much thanks for the advice though

Coor · Post by **Coor** » Mon Mar 08, 2004 2:50 pm

Hey Junkie, why are you so honest?

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Mon Mar 08, 2004 5:32 pm

Coor wrote:Hey Junkie, why are you so honest?

because its fun............................. hehehe......
im brutally honest about the outside world.
brutally.
my life? theres things i dont make public like anyone else. all the shit i talk about from my life i find trival or funny. ive just had a very different life than most. but the things i dont talk about, i DO NOT talk about. not enough alkie in the world can make me talk about those topics.
so i guess im not so different... ill just tear the outside world a new asshole cuz ill call em like i see em.
to the people with jaded life conceptions....if my opinions hurt your feelings, its something you probably needed to hear..........................