I time hop 15 years ahead and this is what I find? You people should be ashamed of yourselves! Ah, who am I kidding, I haven't even looked at or read anything since coming back. Seriously, though, most of you should still be ashamed of yourselves. Don't make faces; you know why. What the hell has been going on? What the fuck happened? Where is my copy of Goth Kids from the Masquerade Ball?

Your mama happened.