Simple, really. Answer the previous person's question, then ask your own.

How long will this thread last?

Nexxus23 wrote:Simple, really. Answer the previous person's question, then ask your own.

How long will this thread last?

twice as long as half its length.

what is my destiny?

derk
When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"

You will know love, you will know pain, you will lose your keys, and curse your own brain.

Speaking of losing things, has anyone seen my marbles?

:sniff sniff:
smells like the ask JC thread to me.......
umm....

derk wrote: my destiny?

YOUR DESTINY:
your cards of fate are the quantum energy, JKF&MM, and old NBC sitcoms...
after curing all the cases of herpes known to man except the case you got performing your experiments... you then go on to start questioning time travel. you study quantum physics and become a world reknowned expert, hiding the truth of time travel.... harnessing quantum energy. you discover the only way man can build quantum energy is....... you guessed it ......buttsex.
you contruct a machine named ziggy which, after the quantum energy has been created, will measure it in specific amount to place a target in an exact time in an exact place. the problem is that no lab assistant will allow you bang them in the ass so you must generate the energy IN YOUR OWN ASS.... SO you construct a 12 inch studded pink dildo into Ziggy and let Ziggy create enough energy IN YOUR ASS to let you travel back and stop the Kennedy assassination..
BUT fate always has its way of sticking its ugly head in the way.. Ziggy is trying to fix an exact location for you to perform a "quantum leap" too but sees marilyn monroe getting nailed by JFK.... Ziggy gets carried away creating anal energy and with its 12 inches of studs, it tears your body apart thru your asshole, killing your BODY but left your soul drifting from body to body making as much new quantum energy in asses all over time trying to get enough power to get in contact with ziggy and get home.......
my god that deserves a fucking award. THAT WAS NOT A DIVE AT YOU i just came out with it..... nothing but love man.
my question:
if a train leaves LA at 500am and a train leaves NYC at 500pm when and where will they meet and could you explain to the general public why they should give a damn?

junkie christ wrote:my question:
if a train leaves LA at 500am and a train leaves NYC at 500pm when and where will they meet and could you explain to the general public why they should give a damn?

They will meet with the guy who is in charge of switching the tracks falls asleep and they run headlong into eachother. And one should give a damn because there was a really hot guy in the 3rd car on the second train. Damnit.

My Question:

Why is it that no matter how many packs of black socks I buy.. none of them match?

MahoganyDawn wrote:My Question:

Why is it that no matter how many packs of black socks I buy.. none of them match?

Sock goblins, close relations to the underpants gnomes, steal one sock of each pair. When they have enough socks, they'll tie them into lassoes to take down the oppressive humans and rule the world.
There's rumor that the sock goblins have developed "the bomb"- by filling a sock with quarters.
Damned goblins.

My question:

Why do clocks run clockwise?

Breaking in to the question fest...

This thread is evil. There's one on NG and it's hit 26 or so pages and refuses to die. Oy!

Other than that, have fun people.

Nexxus23 wrote:

MahoganyDawn wrote:
My question:

Why do clocks run clockwise?

Because, like Derek Zoolander, they're not ambi-turners. Can animals who have multiple births have monozygotic twins and if so, shouldn't their markings be identical? (No, really...that's an honest question!)

Cheerleader of the Damned wrote:Can animals who have multiple births have monozygotic twins and if so, shouldn't their markings be identical? (No, really...that's an honest question!)

A) Only if they all taste good with bacon. B) That depends on how you lay them out on the grill.

Where did the Oompa Loompas go after Willy Wonka, and what are they doing now?

Cheerleader of the Damned wrote: Can animals who have multiple births have monozygotic twins and if so, shouldn't their markings be identical? (No, really...that's an honest question!)

Yes, they can have monozygotic twins. Most of the time, the markings will be the same, but not always. Monozygotic twins START with the same DNA, but they don't necessarily end up with the same DNA. DNA is influenced by it's enviroment - it can mutate and change, even in the womb. Identical twins (in humans) are not perfectly identical. There's always something just a little bit different.

If I went to bed with identical twins and impregnated both of them, and they in turn each gave birth to twins, is it possible that all 4 kids would be identical?

div wrote:If I went to bed with identical twins and impregnated both of them, and they in turn each gave birth to twins, is it possible that all 4 kids would be identical?

yes

My turn:

Why goths cover themselves mainly in black ?

tiipou wrote:Why goths cover themselves mainly in black ?

We are clumsy by nature and tend to spill things. You think that wavy swirly dancing is for show? Hell no! We are trying not to fall down!


Why are there so many BAD drivers in Tennessee?

MahoganyDawn wrote:

Why are there so many BAD drivers in Tennessee?

EASY...its the road crew fault of course....

Where do all the left socks disapear too?

MahoganyDawn wrote:Why are there so many BAD drivers in Tennessee?

Because they are passing through from Ohio!!!

What is the air speed velocity of an unladen African swallow?

Sir Diddimus wrote:

MahoganyDawn wrote:Why are there so many BAD drivers in Tennessee?

Because they are passing through from Ohio!!!

What is the air speed velocity of an unladen African swallow?

Damnit that was my next question! 30mph.

Why are my cat's facinated with the toilet?

MahoganyDawn wrote:Why are my cat's facinated with the toilet?

its the MAGIK water device of kitten lore-
a place of worship by drunken humans, yet a feeding place for foolish canines..
"where does it come from- where does it go?
I, MD's catt am curious- i have to know!"

why is JC fascinated by quantum energy and butt-sex?

derk
Playing doctor should be left to qualified professionals. And of course, curious youngsters.

Derk Jyslexic wrote:why is JC fascinated by quantum energy and butt-sex?

Well, that's an easy one. Everyone is fascinated by butt-sex! Even if they won't admit it!

If the sock gnomes are indeed getting my socks... then what are they doing with the ones that they take back with them?

Gnomes & Socks ... they'r being used 4 3rd world X-mas stockings!

How many Goths does it take 2 screw n a lightbulb?

Derk Jyslexic wrote:why is JC fascinated by quantum energy and butt-sex?

cuz i find it entertaining.

the stormstress wrote: How many Goths does it take 2 screw n a lightbulb?

one to hold the staplegun to staple the freehand of the one holding the bulb
one to hold the bulb with his/her not stapled hand
one to rotate the bulb holder
one to hold their clove
one to work the stereo
10 to post threads about sayin how it wasnt goth enough the way they screwed that bulb in....
50 to bitch about how ungoth this conversation is
_____________________________________________________
= 65 goths
oh yea my question:
paper or plastic?

junkie christ wrote:

the stormstress wrote:How many Goths does it take 2 screw n a lightbulb?

one to hold the staplegun to staple the freehand of the one holding the bulb
one to hold the bulb with his/her not stapled hand
one to rotate the bulb holder
one to hold their clove
one to work the stereo
10 to post threads about sayin how it wasnt goth enough the way they screwed that bulb in....
50 to bitch about how ungoth this conversation is
_____________________________________________________
= 65 goths

You forgot the 5 who have to write angsty poetry about the struggles of the lightbulb.