Situations Hallmark Doesn't Cover, But Should:

1. I always wanted to have...
Someone to love, someone to hold...
(inside card)
After meeting you, I changed my mind.

2. You brought religion into my life ..
(inside card)
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am ...
(inside card)
That you're not here to ruin it for me.

4. Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go .
(inside card)
Take the knife from my back, you'll probably need it
again.

5. Someday I hope to marry ...
(inside card)
Someone other than you.

6. Happy birthday! You look great for your age ..
(inside card)
Almost life-like!

7. When we were together,
You said you'd die for me.. ..
(inside card)
Now that we've broken up, it's time to keep your
promise .

8. We've been friends for a very long time ...
(inside card)
What do you say we stop?

9. I'm so miserable without you ..
(inside card)
It's almost like you're still here.

10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. ..
(inside card)
Did you ever find out who the father was?

11. You are such a good friend,
if we were on a sinking ship
And there was only one life jacket ...
(inside card)
I'd miss you terribly, And think of you often.

12. Your friends and I wanted to do something
really special for your birthday. . . .
(inside card)
So we're having you put to sleep

13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
Available in Alabama, Mississippi, West Virginia
and Kentucky.

14. Looking back o'er the years we've been together,
I can't help but wonder ...
(inside card)
What was I thinking?

15. Congratulations on your wedding day!. . ..
(inside card)
Too bad no one likes your husband.

16. How could two people as beautiful as you ..
(inside card)
Have such an ugly baby?

BearDragonLady wrote:2. You brought religion into my life ..
(inside card)
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

That's a keeper.

beardragonlady wrote:7. When we were together,
You said you'd die for me.. ..
(inside card)
Now that we've broken up, it's time to keep your
promise .

So is this.

beardragonlady wrote:13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
Available in Alabama, Mississippi, West Virginia
and Kentucky.

They left out Tennessee.

iblis wrote:

beardragonlady wrote:13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
Available in Alabama, Mississippi, West Virginia
and Kentucky.

They left out Tennessee.

and Arkansas... it should have been first on the list.

div wrote:

iblis wrote:

beardragonlady wrote:13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
Available in Alabama, Mississippi, West Virginia
and Kentucky.

They left out Tennessee.

and Arkansas... it should have been first on the list.

I'm my own Aunt. ;o)

MahoganyDawn wrote:

div wrote:

iblis wrote:

beardragonlady wrote:13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
Available in Alabama, Mississippi, West Virginia
and Kentucky.

They left out Tennessee.

and Arkansas... it should have been first on the list.

I'm my own Aunt. ;o)

What scares me is that this is true. =P

You can legally marry your first cousin in Tennessee!!
How convenient

iblis wrote:

MahoganyDawn wrote:

div wrote:

iblis wrote:

beardragonlady wrote:13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
Available in Alabama, Mississippi, West Virginia
and Kentucky.

They left out Tennessee.

and Arkansas... it should have been first on the list.

I'm my own Aunt. ;o)

What scares me is that this is true. =P

Hehehhehehe! Yes.. it most certainly is. I can explain it if anyone is really that curious.

MahoganyDawn wrote:

iblis wrote:

MahoganyDawn wrote:

div wrote:

iblis wrote:

beardragonlady wrote:13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
Available in Alabama, Mississippi, West Virginia
and Kentucky.

They left out Tennessee.

and Arkansas... it should have been first on the list.

I'm my own Aunt. ;o)

What scares me is that this is true. =P

Hehehhehehe! Yes.. it most certainly is. I can explain it if anyone is really that curious.

yes. explain this. cure my mind before i give myself a nervous shutdown trying to figure this out

junkie christ wrote:yes. explain this. cure my mind before i give myself a nervous shutdown trying to figure this out

Haven't you seen The Stupids, starring Tom Arnold? He has this song in it about how he's his own grandpa.

Well, Anoki is her own Aunt.

iblis wrote:

junkie christ wrote:yes. explain this. cure my mind before i give myself a nervous shutdown trying to figure this out

Haven't you seen The Stupids, starring Tom Arnold? He has this song in it about how he's his own grandpa.

Well, Anoki is her own Aunt.

nope havent seen it.....
but ill just take yer word for it.....

Isn't that the song where a father and son meet a mother and daughter, and dual marriages occur, but the father marries the daughter and the son marries the mother?

Two seperate families marrying mind you (I hope?).

And I'm curious about the I'm my own aunt thing.

ARKANSAS STATE RESIDENCY APPLICATION


Name: ________________
(_) Billy-Bob (last)
(_) Billy-Joe
(_) Billy-Ray
(_) Billy-Sue
(_) Billy-Mae
(_) Billy-Jack
(_) Billy-Jefferson
(Check appropriate box)

Age: ____

Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A

Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right

Occupation:
(_) Farmer
(_) Mechanic
(_) Hair Dresser
(_) Un-employed

Spouse's Name: __________________________

Relationship to spouse:
(_) Sister
(_) Brother
(_) Aunt
(_) Uncle
(_) Cousin
(_) Mother
(_) Father
(_) Son
(_) Daughter
(_) Pet

Number of children living in household: ___

Number that are yours: ___

Mother's Name: _______________________

Father's Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Do you:
(_) own or (_) rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)

Total number of vehicles you own ___

Number of vehicles that still crank ___

Number of vehicles in front yard ___

Number of vehicles in back yard ___

Number of vehicles on cement blocks____

Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck
____ bedroom
____ bathroom
____ kitchen
____ shed

Model and year of your pickup: ___________194_

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
(_) The National Enquirer
(_) The Globe
(_) TV Guide
(_) Soap Opera Digest

Number of times you've seen a UFO: ___

Number of times you've seen Elvis: ___

Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO:___

How often do you bathe:
(_) Weekly
(_) Monthly
(_) Not Applicable

Color of teeth:
(_) Yellow
(_) Brownish-Yellow
(_) Brown
(_) Black
(_) N/A

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
(_) Red-Man

How far is your home from a paved road?
(_) 1 mile
(_) 2 miles
(_) don't know!

Imagineme,

That was fucking hillarious, almost sounds like a KY application, and i should know that's where i'm from, i know this family that there are over 12 of them that live in the same house and one of the boys has openly admitied that he lost his virginity to his sister....... that is fucking scary!!!!!! But you can tell they are imbreeders..... the whole family is deformed.