Toss me in the dumpster if you must but here it is.

Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?
If it had Four it would be a chicken sedan.

Anyone else have any favorite bad jokes

What's green and hangs from trees?
Giraffe snot

How does Jesus Christ chew his nails?

(Pantomine gnawing at your own palms....)

If Miss. Ippi, known as Skippi, gave Miss. Ouri, full of fury, her new jersey to wear to the fair, oh tell me what would Dela wear?

I dunno, but I'll aska'.

What's black and white and red all over?



Roadkill skunk.


(*ba-dum ching*)

What's gross?

A truckful of dead babies

What's grosser then that?

A live one at the bottom

What's grosser then that?

It eats its way to the top

What's grosser then that?

It goes back down for seconds

Why was Jesus left on the cross to die?














He forgot his Safe word.

What is seven inches long, green, and smells like pork?





Kermit's finger!

A man telephones his office and says, "Sorry, I can't come into work today, I'm sick."
"How sick are you ?" asks his boss.
"Well," he replies, "I'm in bed with my sister."

What do you call ian owl on a bungee cord?





















Answer = My ass.

a mushroom walks into a bar
he goes up to this beautiful woman and asks if he can buy her a drink
she says no, you're a mushroom
he says " Aw, come on! I'm a fungi!

A Buddhist walks into a pizza parlor and says, "Make me one with everything"

I am not trying to make fun of anybody ,but here is a dumb blonde joke:
There are these three girls who started an orphanage fire and the police are going to give them one final word before they shoot.

Brunette yells, " Tornado!!! " and the firemen turn around. She escapes when they are not looking. They are left with the black-haired girl and ask her, " and what are YOUR final words?"

Black-haired girl screams, " FLOOD!!! " The firemen once again turn around and she escapes. They are left with the blonde now.

" What are your final words, mam?"

Blonde points and yells, " FIRE !!! "

A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for
her first day promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock
at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman from the assembly line throws
open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that
she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire
plant behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides that he should see this for himself so the
two men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line
is so backed up that there are Elmos all over the floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands the new employee. She has a roll of red plush fabric and a big bag of marbles. The men watch in
amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles
and begins to sew the little package between Elmo's legs. The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches the woman. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood me yesterday. Your job is to give each Elmo two test tickles

BearDragonLady wrote:A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for
her first day promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock
at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman from the assembly line throws
open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that
she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire
plant behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides that he should see this for himself so the
two men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line
is so backed up that there are Elmos all over the floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands the new employee. She has a roll of red plush fabric and a big bag of marbles. The men watch in
amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles
and begins to sew the little package between Elmo's legs. The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches the woman. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood me yesterday. Your job is to give each Elmo two test tickles

Two goldfish were in their tank
The first goldfish turned to the second and said,
"You man the guns, I'll drive."

An Amish boy and his Father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this Father?". The Father responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is!".

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights w/numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24 year old woman stepped out.

The Father said to his son, "Go get your Mother".

Two blonds walked into a bar....you'd think the second one would have ducked.

Q: What do you call a room full of women, half of them having PMS, the other half with yeast infections?

A: A whine and cheese party.