so what are the most "rectum blowing suicide causing scratch out my eyes stab pencils in my ears immoral and religious defiling i am going strait to hell on satans private jet with a crucifix stuck up your ass" jokes that you know?

karmakaze wrote:so what are the most "rectum blowing suicide causing scratch out my eyes stab pencils in my ears immoral and religious defiling i am going strait to hell on satans private jet with a crucifix stuck up your ass" jokes that you know?

too tired to think of a joke, but I had to say, you amuse me greatly

I don' know if it's worthy of entering the Gates of Hell, or not, but it does involve nuns!

There were these 3 nuns who were in a horrible car accident & died. They go to Heaven where St. Peter is standing at the Pearly Gates. When they walk up he says, "Upon entering you must first answer one question, if you answer wrong you will be sent to Hell."
He asks the first nun, "Who was the first man ever created?" The nun says, "Adam!" The horns started blowing, the birds started singing, & the Pearly Gates opened up & she walked on in. He asks the 2nd nun, "Who was the first woman ever created? She answers, "Eve!" The horns started blowing, the birds started singing & the Pearly Gates opened up & she walked on in. Finally, he asks the 3rd nun, "What were the first words Eve said to Adam?" The nun thought long & hard on this one & says, "Hmmm, my that's a hard one!" The horns started blowing, the birds started singing, & the Pearly Gates opened up & she walked on in.

If I think of more I will post them!

LMAO! Good one.

ok...Why did all the girls love Jesus?


...because he was hung like this (holds out arms)

amusing....by the way i love your new altavar

Thank you, lol. Altavar...that's brilliant.

why does micheal jackson like 23 year olds?


... because there are 20 of them.

LOL

Knock Knock......Who's There....Little Boy Blue....Little Boy Blue Who?





Michael Jackson

Why did Jesus hang on the cross so long?

He forgot his safe word.

I'm gonna bust a nut here!
I want that skit by George Carlin where he's breaking down The 10 Commandments! Has anyone else heard this or have any clue what I'm talking about?? Anycrap, it's funny as hell!



MICHAEL JACKSON INVESTMENT VENTURE!!

How do you circumcise a redneck?

... Kick his sister in the jaw.

[quote="RavenLunatic"]I'm gonna bust a nut here!
I want that skit by George Carlin where he's breaking down The 10 Commandments! Has anyone else heard this or have any clue what I'm talking about?? Anycrap, it's funny as hell!

I know that bit...one of my favorites and Ive been a fan of carlin for some time now....and my joke is..what do anal sex and spinach have in common??...If you were forced to have it as a boy you'll hate it when your grown..lol..oh yea what's the diffrence between a jew and a pizza?? Pizza's don't scream when you put them in the oven..(my all time favorite joke)

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

... They both leave little boys' rooms with empty sacks.

I highly suggest no one read this topic for the first time at this point all the way through.

Oops...too late. You're blatter is now exploded.

Keep it going.

Two dobermans find themselves side by side at the Vet one day. The first dog looks over and asks the second, "What are you in for?" The second dog replies, "Well, Not long ago I was adopted by this really cute, blonde haired, blue eyed, 12 year old girl. She was a lot of fun at first, but then she started pulling on my ears and pinching my stub. And well....after a while I couldn't take it anymore and I.... I.... Ate her up..... So now I'm here to see the man in the long white coat. Gonna take the long sleep...." First dog looks back and chuckles. "I know what you mean. I was adopted by a cute, blonde haired, blue eyed, 22 year old girl. Everyday she'd come home from work and take a long shower. Once she was done, she'd climb into her bed naked and rub these sweet smelling oils all over her body. I resisted for a long time but after a few monthes I just couldn't take it..... I had my way with her" The second dog looks over in shock, "Damn, so I guess your here to see the man in the long white coat too?" First dog snickers, "Nah, I'm just here to get my nails done."

More to come....

... So then I says to the ho: "If I'm gonna eat it, YOU'RE GONNA WASH IT!"

... rectum? Hell it killed the rabbit.

Whats the difference bwtween Michael Jackson and a white plastic bag?



Ones white and dangerous to children, the other is a plastic bag.

LOL!!




NOW I'm going to HELL!

The Pope contacted Michael Jackson today.
He was quoted as saying:
"One more report like this, and we are going to have to give you your own parish"


Now I'm going to hell too...

well... at least I'll be in good company

RavenLunatic wrote:LOL!!




NOW I'm going to HELL!

LOL!!!!

Why is there cotton on top of the pills in medicine bottles...

To remind black people they picked cotton before they sold drugs.