Consumption


American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's
suggestion the following warning labels be placed
immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may leave you wondering
what the hell happened to
your bra and panties.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
is a major factor in dancing
like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may cause you to tell your
friends over and over again
you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may cause you to think you
can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may lead you to believe ex-
lovers are really dying for
you to telephone them at
four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may make you think you can
logically converse with mem-
bers of the opposite sex with
out spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
is the leading cause of inex-
plicable rug burns on the
forehead, knees and lower
back.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may create the illusion you
are tougher, smarter, faster
and better looking than most
people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may lead you to think people
are laughing with you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may cause pregnancy.

WARNING: the konsumshun of alcohol
may Mack you tink you can
tipe reel gude.

Stolen from http://www.consumptionjunction.com

Or to scream "God Bless You Sir!" to the bartender a few dozen times while your friend is trying to talk you into saying "Night! Night!"

Oh, last Sanctus was quite entertaining.

Alcohol also makes you want to sit down in the middle of the parking lot to unhappily dismiss your boots which made walking so much more difficult. "Damn Boots!"

Yeah, thanks to the guy who picked her up & put her in the car for me.

Then alcohol makes you start yelling about "Love & Light!" & then go off on a tirade about abortion rights. Yup, beddy bye time, indeed!

Mmm, now this is worthy of modern drunkard mag.