What are your fav death jokes?

Three buddies were talking about death and dying.
One asked, "When you're in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"

The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time and a great family man."

The second man says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."

The third guy says, "I would like to hear them say LOOK, HE'S MOVING!

This one is about vampires, but hey they are the undead so its cool.

3 vampires walk into a bar.
The first one orders a shot of blood, drinks it and leaves.
The second vampire orders a shot of blood, drinks it and leaves.
The third vampire orders a cup of water.

The bartender says, "If you don't mind me askin' what the hell does a vampire need with a cup of water?"

The vampire pulls out a tampon and says "Tea time!"

bwhahahahaha!

Boat is in the middle of the lake. There is a huge guy in this boat. He stands and washes his paddle that is covered with blood.
He says: “I am Jesus?! I am Jesus!? Grrr… When I am fishing, no one could walk near!!!â€

how do you get a pile of dead babies into tuberware?

a blender.

how do you get them out?

doritos

There once was a fellow named Grave....dead hookers he kept in his cave....he was once heard to admit that his habit was sick, but just think of the money he's saved.

vinylpirate wrote:There once was a fellow named Grave....dead hookers he kept in his cave....he was once heard to admit that his habit was sick, but just think of the money he's saved.

I love limericks!