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New liquor warning labels

Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 10:26 pm
by CryptMonger
Due to increasing products liability litigation,

American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that
the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of
alcohol containers:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell

happened to your bra and panties.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering

when you are not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
retard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over
and

over again that you love them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
are

really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically

converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher,

smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing

WITH you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your
ass kicked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may mack you tihnk you can tipe real
gode.

Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 10:34 pm
by Damia_Thorne
:rofl: that's too funny!

Re: New liquor warning labels

Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 10:34 pm
by vicious_blood
CryptMonger wrote: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.



Um, yeah...I never do that. :-x

Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 10:39 pm
by Melicious Scam
here is one that they forgot:

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you so horny that you end up making sexual gestures with the lime that came with your drink.

Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 10:47 pm
by Russo
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can skateboard.

;-)

Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 11:04 pm
by vicious_blood
Melicious Scam wrote:here is one that they forgot:

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you so horny that you end up making sexual gestures with the lime that came with your drink.


...

I'm not talking to you anymore...





But I will wink and lick limes in your direction.

Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 11:06 pm
by Melicious Scam
girl you know i like it when you flirt with me!!

*goes and kits kit a bottle of alcohol and some limes* ;)

Re: New liquor warning labels

Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 4:01 am
by junkie christ
the first rule of sanctus is:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
retard.

the second rule of sanctus is:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
retard.

Re: New liquor warning labels

Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 7:14 pm
by 4X541N7
junkie christ wrote:the first rule of sanctus is:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
retard.

the second rule of sanctus is:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
retard.


I fucking love you!

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may hinder you ability to distinguish human genders...

bam

Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2005 8:00 am
by CrimeCore
Warning : The consumption of alcohol causes you to be up to yr chin in pussy.

Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2005 2:57 pm
by The Stormstress
WARNING:The consumption of alcoholic beveragez may cauze u 2 4get everything u just did.

WARNING:The consumption of alcoholic beveragez may cauze u 2 4get everything u just did.

WARNING:The consumption of alcoholic beveragez may cauze u 2 4get everything u just did.