Through my dreams I woke with a sickening awareness. A
feeling of indifference and complete loss.

I can't decipher what has been said and what hasn't,
but the scripts have played through my head over so
many times that they do not strike me as deeply
original. They no longer burn with intensity, but,
rather gnaw at me from want of being out.

I know why I hate myself.
I know why I have no self respect.

It has been established that I would give myself up to
any degradation for people I care about. I don't
regret love.

I know why I'm still sitting here.
I know exactly what you meant.

A person can really feel another one's pain. They can
open themself to experience one empathetic glimpse, or
they can fully embrace it.

I know what my mistake is.
I know why I keep coming back.

This morning I realized the one most important thing I
need to convey to you, but I couldn't wake you up to
tell you.