"Decent"

4X541N7 · Post by **4X541N7** » Fri Jun 10, 2005 10:36 am

"Decent"
By: 4X541N7

You're beautiful...
Like a waterfall...
Sparkling clean...
Dirty underneath...

Piercing rocks below your decent...
I want to be clean, for a moment...
Flow onto me...Make me shimmer...
Wash my eyes...For a clearer...Veiw...
I want to be a part of you...
Another part of you...

You're jaded diamonds...
Glowing...Brightened...
Luciferious angel...
Falling from Heaven...

Piercing rocks below your decent...
I want to be clean, for a moment...
Flow onto me...Make me shimmer...
Wash my eyes...For a clearer...Veiw...
I want to be a part of you...
Another part of you...

I could never be a part of you...
The dirties gear...In the machine...
Though, I would gladly follow you...
Into a Heaven...In which I don't believe...
You're the better part of me...

Piercing rocks below my decent...
I'm cleaning my conscience...For the moment...
Flow onto me...Make me shimmer...
Wash my eyes...For a clearer...Veiw...
I want to be a part of you...
The dirtiest part of you...

TiredUnhappy · Post by **TiredUnhappy** » Fri Jun 10, 2005 2:37 pm

um.. you know I wouldn't say anything if it wasn't true... and you know for the most part I have never cared for your writing. (regardless of whether or not we were together, etc.) but.....

that made me cry.

hmm... I like it.

4X541N7 · Post by **4X541N7** » Fri Jun 10, 2005 3:51 pm

TiredUnhappy wrote:um.. you know I wouldn't say anything if it wasn't true... and you know for the most part I have never cared for your writing. (regardless of whether or not we were together, etc.) but.....

that made me cry.

hmm... I like it.

Why, thank you...Gentle isn't my strong suit in creative works...But....Every now & then...I have my moments...Jinx should feel VERY special...We all know I don't get like this often...Or, at least not really since I've been a member of this board...

And I would like to take this time, to clear up anything...That may have come off as harassing on this board, or elsewhere...I wasn't meaning to be bitter towards anything...& I'm sorry if you feel like I killed your sale...I was actually trying to be joking...But, it didn't come off that way at all...Again...Sorry...

(PS: You only cried, because you're preggers...lol...)

TiredUnhappy · Post by **TiredUnhappy** » Fri Jun 10, 2005 4:06 pm

4X541N7 wrote:
TiredUnhappy wrote:um.. you know I wouldn't say anything if it wasn't true... and you know for the most part I have never cared for your writing. (regardless of whether or not we were together, etc.) but.....

that made me cry.

hmm... I like it.

Why, thank you...Gentle isn't my strong suit in creative works...But....Every now & then...I have my moments...Jinx should feel VERY special...We all know I don't get like this often...Or, at least not really since I've been a member of this board...

And I would like to take this time, to clear up anything...That may have come off as harassing on this board, or elsewhere...I wasn't meaning to be bitter towards anything...& I'm sorry if you feel like I killed your sale...I was actually trying to be joking...But, it didn't come off that way at all...Again...Sorry...

(PS: You only cried, because you're preggers...lol...)

I think she should feel special. If you had ever written anything like that about me, I certainly would have worshipped the ground you walked on.

No worries about the bed, for a while I thought about seeing if it could be turned in a crib for little Vincent, then I found another friend who was interested and I'm holding it for them.

I don't know if you could blame pregnancy or just, the sweetness. Probably a bit of both. I'd like to see more of that from you, but you'll write whatever suits your mood.

onesilverhand · Post by **onesilverhand** » Wed Jun 15, 2005 10:49 pm

Good imagery. Some nice raw feeling in rather eloquent phrases. I am curious though... did you mean "descent" as in going down to a lower place or "decent" which means conforming to a moral standard? I thought probably Descent, but decent works in an odd sort of way, when you think of it. Anyway, it is a good piece of writing... I encourage you to do more!

4X541N7 · Post by **4X541N7** » Mon Jun 20, 2005 10:26 am

No, I meant Decent...With the intention that most people would read in descent...Most people hover right above that deadly level between decent & monster...That's the point...

onesilverhand · Post by **onesilverhand** » Mon Jun 20, 2005 3:04 pm

(Abandoned applause!) Thank you for both the craft and skill to put those things together, as they add a subconscious level to the piece (just as you intended)

Your explanation is beautifully stated!! Thank you!