What is your take on bullys

gothic_spleen · Post by **gothic_spleen** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 6:49 pm

I wanted to start this thread as a result of my recent thread on the events in kansas. Probrably a stupid question, but was anyone here bullied as a kid? What happened, what helped you get through it? What sort of action did u take?

My personall experience, school was hell. In middle school i started doing and selling drugs to be "COOL"....(yea right). The drugs helped me escape the torment of school, i came from a loving home with a mother and father who were there for me. Yet that being said, they could not prevent me from making a bad mistake. I will not go deeply into it, but there was a gun involved....lets get this clear, i didnt target random jocks/preps/xtians, just the gangbanger fuckers who were giving me shit....the gun was found before i had a chance to do it, end result, i spent the rest of my middle school years in a Christian Bording School for bad kids...

tbones · Post by **tbones** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 7:28 pm

In school I got made fun of alot. One for being a Jehovahâ€™s Witness and not celebrating holidays. When it came to that I just isolated myself and hung out with people that were hated worse than me. I also got made fun of for the typical things. no boobs. they called me big nose, chicken legs. mostly boys poking fun at me. I got racial cracks constantly. cracker. blow hair. and the list goes on. I couldnt date in school and my parents didnt allow me to talk on the phone or hang out with anyone i went to school with. because their cult told them it was wrong for their children to associate with people outside of the religion. how I dealt with it all was by standing up for my self when it was appropriate. keeping my mouth shut and not arguing with people who wouldnâ€™t be convinced other wise. I journaled alot. i wrote poetry and listened to alot of smashing pumpkins. most importantly I blocked most of it out to the point I can only recall about 2 peoples names I went to school with. I havenâ€™t allowed my sucky childhood experiences to dictate my life. I know those kids had it all wrong and I was and am awesome! Besides I talked alot of shit about alot of people too, I mostly feel bad about that.

Coor · Post by **Coor** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 7:43 pm

I don't know. I went to high school in a small town in TN...then moved to the largest one in Daytona Beach. I never saw any real acts of people being bullies. I mean...even the kid that didn't bathe had friends...and people just ignored them, not tormented them.

The only time there were really fights at my schools were becuase someone fucked someone's boyfriend/girlfriend...someone ratted someone else out, just to be an asshole, or the came to school drunk and got pissed.

Kids today are so freaked out that their classmates are going to kill them, that it's really not a problem anymore.

I wish that I could remember the name of the guy who went to a bully's home and shot him...ever since I was in middle school we were told about that news story...I think the scare tactic did the trick.

Asher · Post by **Asher** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 8:21 pm

I had a -really- bad home life..and i was listless and withdrawn in elementary school. Middle school i was an advanced/honours student but quickly i got into the downward spiral with the cutting/drugs/etc..i hid it really well though. I just did it to numb..i would have been mortified if anyone ever knew about any of it. I got made fun of for my lips a lot..and freckles..stringy brown hair.

High school i kinda blossomed..and it turned from bullying into flat out constant sexual harassment. I remember this one boy staring at me with his hand down his pants jerking off during marine biology. It seemed like i couldnt do anything to vanish well enough, baggy clothes..etc..i still got it.

Then..senior year i got married..got pregnant..and dropped out.

Now only my family makes fun of me.

gothic_spleen · Post by **gothic_spleen** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 8:37 pm

when i got to the private school, i had to learn to fend for myself, i was alone, and away from my family, with a bunch of inner city kids who would just rather slice me than talk to me, i learned well how to defend myself.

Got to high school, my family moved to Loudon, and i attended high school and graduated from there, i fell in line with the Freaks. I had finnaly found a group that i belonged to, they didnt care about my physical features, they liked me for who i am...no one else messed with me

I get to college and its just like middle school again, it literally drove me insane, it drove me back to drugs, and drove me to cutting/depression/and multiple attempts of suicide. For anyone who reads this and plans to attend college, there are bullys here too

Coor · Post by **Coor** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 9:30 pm

gothic_spleen wrote:I get to college and its just like middle school again, it literally drove me insane, it drove me back to drugs, and drove me to cutting/depression/and multiple attempts of suicide. For anyone who reads this and plans to attend college, there are bullys here too

Nothing "drives" someone to do drugs. That's a lame ass excuse for lack of self control...

Sorry, but it's the truth.

gothic_spleen · Post by **gothic_spleen** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 9:53 pm

Coor wrote:
gothic_spleen wrote:I get to college and its just like middle school again, it literally drove me insane, it drove me back to drugs, and drove me to cutting/depression/and multiple attempts of suicide. For anyone who reads this and plans to attend college, there are bullys here too

Nothing "drives" someone to do drugs. That's a lame ass excuse for lack of self control...

Sorry, but it's the truth.

true....i stand corrected...i was totaly at fault for that....im clean now, and have been for a full year....dont be sorry, it is the truth

Hardcoregirl · Post by **Hardcoregirl** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 10:08 pm

I probably dealt with the average amount of shit that any intelligent different type person deals with.

I got called skatergirl and made fun of for wearing the clothes I liked, and for wearing converse all stars. I got made fun of for making 100s on tests. I got made fun of for *having boobs*. Kids in middle school are always so mean...I never understood it. My mom always told me that they made fun of people because they felt bad about themselves, so it really didn't bother me, but it did bother me when they bullied others. I always tried to stick up for the bullied ones. It always infuriated me when the popular preppie girls would ask the total loser outcast guy to be their boyfriends ,just to fuck with them. I thought it was too cruel.

By the time I got to highschool people accepted me for who I was and actually had a lot of respect for me for always being myself, being unique and not crumbling to their ideas of fashion, music, etc.

I was friends with pretty much everyone by senior year...

Dark Elf · Post by **Dark Elf** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 12:21 am

I hate bullys. I was picked on my whole life. Then I started taking martial arts. I then put a stop to it.

Post by **DarkVader** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 1:30 am

I don't remember ever really having any problem with bullies.

I mean, I didn't like most of the people I went to school with, but I think I frightened them enough that they wouldn't dare try anything beyond a bit of name-calling, and I was better at that than they were.

I took their money to make fake IDs in high school (I'm pretty sure the statute of limitations on that ran out years ago, so I can talk about it now) and they knew I knew enough about computers to fuck with their lives if I thought I needed to (ok, so I cultivated that image a bit, it may not have been accurate,but it kept the jocks terrified of me), so they left me alone, and they left my friends alone.

I did have one of the "popular" girls try a few times to ask me out, I turned her down. At the time, I thought she was probably trying to fuck with me - but I think she was really interested in somthing different.

Even in elementary school, when some asshole would say "meet me at the flagpole after school" I'd just say no. They didn't really know what to say to that. (the flagpole was the fight grounds - and I didn't see the point of bothering)

Now there was one time in elementary school that a kid tried to take my lunchbox. He got it - to the head. Nobody else ever tried again.

Bigun · Post by **Bigun** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 6:51 am

For the most part, people didn't physically bully me all that much. I'd mostly try to avoid a fight if at all possible. I've only been in one real fight and one punch ended it. After that he left me alone. However the verbal portion of it continued on an almost daily basis.

But now, it's all water under the bridge. I've gained weight, I've became smarter, more agile, very few people have actually tried to pick fights in adulthood. About the only one that was almost successfully started was by my wife's father, who punched me square in the face, and then ran off.

*shrug*

Serenity · Post by **Serenity** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 9:22 am

My experiences in school were, at times, negative. Mainly because both of my parents were teachers at the school I attended. Besides the perks of getting coffee from the teacher lounge, the other kids really didn't associate with me. I guess they figured I would run off and tell my parents about things they were not doing or doing etc. I was really active in drama (yes, that is why I am drama queen) band, chorus, dance so I never really had time to deal with petty gossip or the usual high school soap opera crap. Of course I was teased for being "fat"....ok, I was size 4 then as I am now, so now I look back on it and laugh.
Currently I am student teaching and I see the bully kids picking on everyone. My take on it: usually these kids have a terrible home life, either they have no money or their family has money but the parents are perfectionist (which can even be worse). Children at a young age, especially elementary, will directly reflect those around them. If the parents are disfunctional, the children will be.
Then again, there is my spiritual side that believes, in general, earth is a learning experience for the soul to perfect itself. Without writing a masters thesis on the subject, basically I believe that we all "chart" our lifetime on the "Other Side" to experience certain things to "perfect" our soul. This is way we live many different lives, we learn from them and move on. If there were no bullys, in childhood and adult life, we would not learn certain key emotions to perfect our soul, such as anger, hatered, saddess etc. This is why the earth has to be so negative, why the bully hits you and makes fun of you and even why you date the abusive man that beats you. You truly learn more from the negative than the positive. Hold onto the positive experinces from your life but the learning really comes from negative. "What does not kill you, only makes you stronger".
By reading the posts on beliefs, I realize that what I believe may offend other people, but I am not out to make anyone believe what I do. I really dislike people that push religion or spirituality on anyone, everyone has the right to believe in what they choose and be left alone. However, when it comes to this subject, I have two opinions, one based on basic psychology and one on spirituality. Please don't take this post and make it another "Christain Goth" post! That is not my point, I just wanted to post here because I am training to be a teacher and this stuff really hits home. I hope you all understand.

gothic_spleen · Post by **gothic_spleen** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 10:54 am

i agree serenity, the whole christian goth thing doesnt have a place here, I am glad people responded, still looking for further response.....I dont really have to deal with this kinda crap anymore, im a big guy, the campus thinks im nuts, and when i walk in a room people part like the red sea....I dont mind this cause i dont get fucked with.

Like i said I have to work with students at the hospital who have cracked under the pressure. These students see all the shit that the media brings to them, and they feel like doing a "columbine" is there only answer.

When i tried to do my version "columbine" hadnt happened yet, and there wasnt a media frenzy. There wasnt the one strike rule, they believed in intervention, and it worked....otherwise my ass would probaly still be in a cell....

miz kitty · Post by **miz kitty** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 11:59 am

I was picked on a lot. I was big for my age in elemantary school, then I was just different. It sucked. In middle school I had a figure, so there were rumors that I was a slut, on drugs, etc. I was very isolated. My only true friend was my best friend, who is still my best friend to this day. By the time I started highschool, I decided I didn't care if people liked me or not, but they were definatley going to remember me! I was very active, theatre, art, newspaper photographer, etc. I didn't let bullies get away with talking shit to me. Once a football player even threatened me! By my senior year, I was president of the drama club, vice president of the foernsic team, in art honor society, etc, etc. When it came time for the prom, I wne twith a friend of mien who was a total geek (valedictorian, debate team, math club, key club, etc.) and we ended up getting prom king and queen. It turned out the popular kids were so bitchy and competitve they voted for several of their own crowd, and all the "rejects" voted for us. It was the ultimate "fuck you!" to my senior class. It rocked. Just in th epast few weeks I have had several people who weren't very nice to me find me on Myspace. I've been polite to them, but I find it very amusing to see what they've done with themselves.

gothic_spleen · Post by **gothic_spleen** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 12:49 pm

miz kitty wrote:I was picked on a lot. I was big for my age in elemantary school, then I was just different. It sucked. In middle school I had a figure, so there were rumors that I was a slut, on drugs, etc. I was very isolated. My only true friend was my best friend, who is still my best friend to this day. By the time I started highschool, I decided I didn't care if people liked me or not, but they were definatley going to remember me! I was very active, theatre, art, newspaper photographer, etc. I didn't let bullies get away with talking shit to me. Once a football player even threatened me! By my senior year, I was president of the drama club, vice president of the foernsic team, in art honor society, etc, etc. When it came time for the prom, I wne twith a friend of mien who was a total geek (valedictorian, debate team, math club, key club, etc.) and we ended up getting prom king and queen. It turned out the popular kids were so bitchy and competitve they voted for several of their own crowd, and all the "rejects" voted for us. It was the ultimate "fuck you!" to my senior class. It rocked. Just in th epast few weeks I have had several people who weren't very nice to me find me on Myspace. I've been polite to them, but I find it very amusing to see what they've done with themselves.

my graduating class had about 75 people....only half went to college, of that half, only a 3rd graduated....ironic...of the 75 there is only 53 still alive....

judas gnb · Post by **judas gnb** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 1:26 pm

i was never really bullied i think cracking the concrete with my forehead the first day of my junior year and then taking up pro wrestling people tended to leave me alone and by my sr year they had embraced the guys who were wrestling

Coor · Post by **Coor** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:09 pm

gothic_spleen wrote:i agree serenity, the whole christian goth thing doesnt have a place here, I am glad people responded, still looking for further response.....I dont really have to deal with this kinda crap anymore, im a big guy, the campus thinks im nuts, and when i walk in a room people part like the red sea....I dont mind this cause i dont get fucked with.

Like i said I have to work with students at the hospital who have cracked under the pressure. These students see all the shit that the media brings to them, and they feel like doing a "columbine" is there only answer.

When i tried to do my version "columbine" hadnt happened yet, and there wasnt a media frenzy. There wasnt the one strike rule, they believed in intervention, and it worked....otherwise my ass would probaly still be in a cell....

Well, it's also what school you are going to...There's only one or two in Athens...and both are mostly comprised of kids that were either afraid to leave their home town...or people who are going back to school...and look at Athens...yea. Case and Point. It's about as Southern as it gets, and the reason it is like highschool...is probably because most of them went to the same school.

And now that I think about it, the only kid that really got made fun of in high school was a kid who barely pulled a D in any class, but swore up and down he got accepted to West Point.

gothic_spleen · Post by **gothic_spleen** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:10 pm

actually i went to loudon, but yes the same goes for loudon...its country too

Serenity · Post by **Serenity** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:17 pm

Everyone thinks that when I say New York...they think the city, and then the onslaught of Yankee jokes start...but I did not go to school or live in the city...I partied in the city but I lived about 4 hours away in the country. I grew up on a horse farm and the closest "city" was 15 miles away and it was smaller then Gatlinburg! My class was about 120 graduates...or so. I got invited to my class reunion! LOL...yeah sure, I am going all the way hell up there to look at a bunch of idiots. I am going to the beach that weekend instead.

gothic_spleen · Post by **gothic_spleen** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:20 pm

Serenity wrote:Everyone thinks that when I say New York...they think the city, and then the onslaught of Yankee jokes start...but I did not go to school or live in the city...I partied in the city but I lived about 4 hours away in the country. I grew up on a horse farm and the closest "city" was 15 miles away and it was smaller then Gatlinburg! My class was about 120 graduates...or so. I got invited to my class reunion! LOL...yeah sure, I am going all the way hell up there to look at a bunch of idiots. I am going to the beach that weekend instead.

you go girl, fuckem...beach is better anyways