Original Post
Hi, I haven't visited this community in a long time, so I'm sorry if this has been discussed before.
Recently I heard a comment about "women in their thirties who go to goth clubs still dressed like they're in their early twenties." That same day, I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (great movie, BTW!) and the main character was criticizing his girlfriend for being 30 years old and still dying her hair weird colors and stuff. Since I'm turning 30 soon, this caught my attention. I mean, shouldn't we all be able to wear what pleases us and not be stuffed into some arbitrary idea of Young Clothes and Mature Clothes? On the other hand, we've probably all seen that 45-year old woman at the club whose youthful, faddish outfit just seemed ... sad. I can't put my finger on what exactly tips the scales in this situation.
I know age can be a sensitive topic, so I hope people with differing opinions will be civil if they respond to my post. I'm just curious what you all think. I've seen so many styles at clubs on both the kids and the older people What do you think about the topic and why do you feel that way? If you ever pick up an outfit and think, "Great for my daughter/niece/22-year-old friend, but I wouldn't be caught dead in it," (or vice versa, "Great for my mom/aunt/40-year-old friend") then why? What makes the difference?
Some Snippets of the fabulous comments:
"and i'm not giving up dying my hair. fuck that noise.
Jola, 32 years old."
"I know people in their 20's who fit this category and the wrong outfit will make them look like a strung out hooker, while that same outfit on my fabulously in-shape 45 year old dance teacher would look amazing. she's got some crows feet, but they aren't noticable really because she just glows with energy and life. it's a je ne sais qua aspect for sure."
"oh come on, where's the love for the over-the-top look? who the hell could tell if i was 65 under all that hair and makeup??"
"Speaking as someone who is going to be 38 in a few months (eeek!), and is sitting at work wearing b&w striped tights and a knee-length Victorian-esque dress with petticoats, I say it's all about what is flattering to you, what you like to wear, and having a VERY STRONG sense of personal style.
"
"I can't even count how many times i've been asked by some "kid" how i made a certain outfit (usually, it more like "where did you get that" and then i have to explain that I deconstructed/made it ... it's like a revelation - who knew making fishnet shirts from tights was a lost art??). i guess i don't feel "dated". i see people doing (unsucessfully) things that i have been doing (sucessfully) for years and will continue to do so long as it feel good and natural for me."
"I like to think that it takes talent to do "edgy" without relying on taped nipples and bare buttcheeks.
" (my favorite)
"Demographically, they were average. Mom and Dad in their late 30's, probably early 40's though, teenage daughter no older than 14, and a young son still a toddler. What set this family apart, however, was their style. Dad wore a fuzzy black and white striped mohair sweater. His hair was ovbiously dyed black, and his hairline was receeding a bit, and obviously he didn't care. Mom had bright magenta hair, teased out til tomorrow, and looked fabulous in her black band t-shirt and jeans. The daughter wore a fishnet shirt over her spriped t-shirt, and the little boy had a red one-piece with a black skull on it.
They were fabulous. And let me tell you, that plane was full of cranky, stressed out, rude people, but that family was one of the most polite, close-knit bunches I've ever observed."
A conversation:
"The one thing that amazes me is how many women I know "in the scene" so to speak who are in their 30s and 40s and look at least 10 years younger."
"maybe it's the lack of sun-damage? i was thinking the same thing actually when i was checking out my graduating class on myspace."
"the vodka has a pickling effect? stapling your hand to your forehead keeps foreheads wrinkle-free? it's a good question ..."
"I see people at the club night I run who are middle-aged and look amazing, and I see people my age or younger who look haggard and tired. It's really more about how you carry yourself and if your clothing works with your body type, regardless of your age."
"As for myself, well, over time I've developed two principles: 1) If it doesn't flatter my body and feel good (emotionally), I shouldn't wear it; and 2) I will only wear things I like. This means that I'm not tied to any specific trend and allows my style to develop and evolve while still being appropriate for me. While this falls very much into the "know it when I see it" realm, I think it has largely helped me avoid wearing anything that makes me look like I'm pretending to be something I'm not (which is about more than just age-appropriateness). I know that I don't look or feel good in short skirts or sheath dresses or orange or harsh cyber-industrial styles. Wearing any of those things is likely to make me look older than I am, because they're not flattering and I'd be uncomfortable. I do look good in clothes fitted to my shape and bias cuts and cool, rich colors and vintage styles (especially 18thC. and 1930s), and I know how to adjust all these things for the various circumstances I find myself in so that I look like "me" and project confidence and a sense of self. That, I think, is the most important aspect to looking good in how we dress.
Ice Princess
two weeks from 41, and still getting carded."
"Some of those outfits I just couldn't wear now, but I can look serene, with my long hair and my bustle. I can walk in heels now that I could only dream about in my teens and early twenties. I have come to terms with the fact that I will never have straight, black Morticia hair, but instead revel in my pre-Raphaelite spill of hair, but still dye it occasionally because I can. I have come to terms with my large chest and my curvy figure, instead of starving myself to fit into what I'm told is supposed to be goth wear. I think as you get older, failing to understand what suits you is the biggest problem."
"i just remember a few years ago, i was shopping in a used cd store in Cambridge (MA). i was wearing a pair of baggy black raver-style pants and a baby-tee, which looked fine on me overall -- but then some 15 year old boys in the store starting hitting on me. at which point, i resolved not to dress like a teenager, since i am most definitely not one
."
Sorry for the excessively long post. I just thought this was a really good discussion.
