What does *your* horoscope say?

Nexxus23 · Post by **Nexxus23** » Wed Jun 25, 2003 11:26 pm

[url=http://www.theonion.com/onion3924/horoscopes_3924.html]Scorpio:
(Oct. 24—Nov. 21)
You're more than just a collection of annoying, loosely bundled neuroses.
There are some entertaining, tightly wound psychoses in there, too.[/url]

iblis · Post by **iblis** » Wed Jun 25, 2003 11:31 pm

Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
Sometimes, you have to do things you just don't want to do. Try to figure out a way not to do these things.

miss_kris1981 · Post by **miss_kris1981** » Thu Jun 26, 2003 3:34 am

Mines: Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)
Remember: Just because you read it in a book doesn't mean it's true. There's no such thing as a "John Updike."...does that mean that curious george isn't real??

The Fallen · Post by **The Fallen** » Thu Jun 26, 2003 4:38 am

Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)
The problem with people like you isn't that you love too much. It's what you love that gets you brought up on charges.

Sir Diddimus · Post by **Sir Diddimus** » Thu Jun 26, 2003 6:59 am

Aries: (March 21—April 19)
You tend to fly into a rage over the smallest problems. Fortunately, you'll encounter only huge disasters this week.

The one which is usually pretty accurate:

Aries
This is a terrific day for you, dear Aries, and you will find that there is a great deal of power at your disposal. This is a day of new beginnings. You have the opportunity now to start over and create a solid emotional base from which to work. Rid yourself of negative feelings and self-doubt. Use this day as an opportunity to strike out on new ground and achieve whatever you set your heart on.

Anath · Post by **Anath** » Thu Jun 26, 2003 7:33 am

Sun in Aquarius, Moon in Pisces, Sagittarius Ascendant:

You're a little detached from things like people, earth, and your body, and your mind is a strange thing. But that's okay, because you'll just bend yourself to adapt to whatever's happening around you. You want to do things, but end up just thinking about them instead.

Okay, I made that one up because the Onion one was depressing...

iblis · Post by **iblis** » Thu Jun 26, 2003 11:49 am

Anath wrote:Okay, I made that one up because the Onion one was depressing...

That's the point.

Lost Traveler · Post by **Lost Traveler** » Thu Jun 26, 2003 12:02 pm

virgo so read iblis's

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Thu Jun 26, 2003 1:44 pm

my horosope is always the same
<virgo>
Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
you will wake up with a hangover and when you go back to sleep, you will be drunk again. Repeat. Self medication as needed for the pain of life. May have side effects of liver problems, vomiting, and people will generally avoid you (YAY! i hate people!)........
</virgo>

BearDragonLady · Post by **BearDragonLady** » Thu Jun 26, 2003 3:29 pm

Okay...so I'm wondering... how many virgos do we have?

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Thu Jun 26, 2003 3:40 pm

mememe! 3 that i know of....

Lost Traveler · Post by **Lost Traveler** » Thu Jun 26, 2003 3:54 pm

3-4 from this list but should be plenty more (second place mont for most babies born) with this being a "goth" page and a high number tend to be autumn borns.

Cheerleader of the Damned · Thu Jun 26, 2003 4:25 pm

KarlaBoo, ArseniCharming, and myself are all virgoes. thimble used to be one but now he's all libra and stuff. Pshh!

Bastet · Post by **Bastet** » Thu Jun 26, 2003 4:55 pm

i'm a libra!!!! yayyy for us.

Imp · Post by **Imp** » Thu Jun 26, 2003 5:36 pm

I'm a Sagittarius, and let me tell you, I am SO GLAD they finally answered that question. It's been bugging me for ages....

Tabris · Post by **Tabris** » Thu Jun 26, 2003 5:44 pm

I am a virgo.

pryjmaty · Post by **pryjmaty** » Fri Jun 27, 2003 8:42 am

full-blooded Scorpio
:morticia:

Nemesis · Post by **Nemesis** » Fri Jun 27, 2003 9:15 am

Gemini: (May 21—June 21)
You will find yourself torn between two lovers, one who is giving and kind and refuses to let you go, and another who chains you to the bumper of his truck. :lol:

celticsmith · Post by **celticsmith** » Fri Jun 27, 2003 9:44 am

December 58th CrossedComputers with MotorcycleKnight rising.
(under the Bruce Sterling calender, of course)

"You are excentric and under appreciated, like a Windows/Mac compiler. With tendencies towards roaming whilst hiding withing your impervious shell."

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Fri Jun 27, 2003 1:30 pm

<virgo>
Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
you will see a man about a horse, and then you will laugh at ibbie because of his horsecock jokes....
then you will go try and meet women, but that situation is stuck in your head, so you ramble it to every woman you meet and they one by one take off running. i see restraining orders in your future virgo, and a long celebacy streak......
</virgo>

What does your horoscope say?

What does your horoscope say?

hey

Me too