Worst SEX lines

Tabris · Post by **Tabris** » Sat Jun 14, 2003 9:52 pm

What is your worst after sex lines ever?

Tabris · Post by **Tabris** » Sat Jun 14, 2003 9:54 pm

I fucking came for you baby, you know I love you. :fencing:

The Stormstress · Post by **The Stormstress** » Sun Jun 15, 2003 2:17 am

Dunno if this qualifies, but I once had a guy, back n high school, tell me (after sex, not during, thank gawd) all of the things he had 2 think of so as 2 prolong his erection... including dead kittens, tragic events,... :puke:

He, then, told me that it was a compliment as 2 my attractiveness/performance. :shock:

karmakaze · Post by **karmakaze** » Sun Jun 15, 2003 8:41 am

now if it starts to look like cottage cheese, don't worry. thats normal.

div · Post by **div** » Sun Jun 15, 2003 9:22 am

"you know that was the last condom, don't you?"

and

"okay, you get the mop and i'll get the bleach."

Seraph Antaine · Post by **Seraph Antaine** » Sun Jun 15, 2003 9:43 am

"Let's all make a pile!"

Eww. :puke:

iblis · Post by **iblis** » Mon Jun 16, 2003 2:15 am

The Stormstress wrote:Dunno if this qualifies, but I once had a guy, back n high school, tell me (after sex, not during, thank gawd) all of the things he had 2 think of so as 2 prolong his erection... including dead kittens, tragic events,... He, then, told me that it was a compliment as 2 my attractiveness/performance.

Wait-a-minute... doesn't everyone think about dead kittens during sex?!

Worst line I've heard... "The blood does make good lube, doesn't it?"

–Ð‘Artãgñån– · Mon Jun 16, 2003 6:52 am

I once heard "hello in there" and it wasn't my own voice....

lovechild · Post by **lovechild** » Mon Jun 23, 2003 5:09 pm

worst line ive ever heard was "damn did the condom just break?!?!

that was said from my vamprire of a ex...god that was am interesting relationship....

miz kitty · Post by **miz kitty** » Mon Jun 23, 2003 5:18 pm

I once had some one ask me to put part of his anatomy in my mouth and hum.
I was like , "What the hell am I supposed to hum?"

He replied, "How about Jingle Bells?"

It was nowhere near Christmastime. A little tooo weird...even for me...

Lost Traveler · Post by **Lost Traveler** » Mon Jun 23, 2003 5:20 pm

the worst one i keep hearing (and its not afterword) is "no"

Derk Jyslexic · Post by **Derk Jyslexic** » Wed Jun 25, 2003 2:59 am

"All of it - the looting bodies in the sewer, the blackmail, the plane ride, and panties -- all of it was for nothing?! "

derk

Godam Hippie · Post by **Godam Hippie** » Sun Jun 29, 2003 7:22 am

This was his big foreplay line:

"You look great in dim light."

Gee thanx.

LongFingeredProctologist · Mon Jun 30, 2003 10:57 am

If the encounter went really badly, and I hope never to see her again, I'll use one of three:

1) "My friends were right! You are better than your sister."

2) "Did you see where I put my penecillin?"

3) Puke. Don't say anything. Just puke. That speaks volumes. :puke:

iblis · Post by **iblis** » Mon Jun 30, 2003 7:09 pm

LongFingeredProctologist wrote:If the encounter went really badly, and I hope never to see her again, I'll use one of three:

1) "My friends were right! You are better than your sister."
2) "Did you see where I put my penecillin?"
3) Puke. Don't say anything. Just puke. That speaks volumes.

Try "Wow, sheep really are better." sometime. Be certain to have a camera (and your running shoes) ready.

Malakelle · Post by **Malakelle** » Mon Jun 30, 2003 10:38 pm

I always think its stupid when the guy has to tell you He loves you.

You have sex, rock the poor guys world then Laying there letting your cookies digest and he rolls over, "That was great hunny, I love you."
Thats when I get my stuff and run. Its okay if its true, but why do guys, and girls think sex = love?

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Tue Jul 01, 2003 5:04 pm

im kinda tired of seeing the word love within 3 miles of the word sex
what the fuck is wrong with these people?
they are raised that way. socalized to be a diseased little fucking maggot. created to whine over emotions. emotions dont exist, they are just implication. its not real. we just needed something to attribute hormonal reactions too
NONE OF THIS SHIT IS REAL AND YOUR TOO CONVINCED IT IS REAL TO EVER OVERCOME AND EVOLVE...... teach a monkey to speak..... watch it say theres a soul....

sorry just had to rant cuz i saw the word love and had to fire..
to quote nem: biochemically theres no difference in love and eating a large amount of chocolate.

worst pickup line:
the mpre i drink the more i wanna fuck you.

iblis · Post by **iblis** » Tue Jul 01, 2003 8:58 pm

junkie christ wrote:worst pickup line:
the mpre i drink the more i wanna fuck you.

Haha.

Bloodhound Gang - You're Pretty When I'm Drunk.

One night me and the crew hit the road on a mission
To slurp free brew and go fuzzy flounder fishin'
Kayjees on the hi-fi and the keg was bottomless
Until we brought Skip O' Pot2mus
And Daddy's gonna get some probably underage and dumb
And everybody knows that the Daddy eats his young
Lupus in the lavatory making a big stink
Macing up the toilet seat and pooping in the sink
M.S.G.'s tanked up and wizzin' in a cup
Waiting for a sprinkle genie to come and drink it up
Cause I'm the one bottle willy with the 12 Horse Ale
After that I get silly like Soupy Sales
Now it's midnight and I'm completely boofy blitzed
A six of Shlitz and the Jew brew Manischewitz
With my beer-tinted glasses I'm ready to bitty battle
I'm Hungry Like The Wolf but I'll end up tending cattle

Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(and I'm pretty fuckin' drunk)

Here she comes, a funky fried cutie
Mr. Jimmy Pop Ali is gonna get some booty
Cause I'm Mr. McFeelie with a speedy delivery
You'd think I was a ditch the way this chick was diggin' me
But maybe I should check and see if this is where I wanna be
Hey Lupus is she cute? Yea for a pygmie
Aw! What do you know? You're probably going home alone
And it wouldn't be the first time that I gave a dog a bone
Plus beauty, it's only skin deep
It's in the eye of the beholder and my beholder's about to tweak
I could tap that barrel, in fact I know I can
It's a msnags a trois you and me and Heineken

Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(and I'm pretty fuckin' drunk)

Regrets I've had a few
First and foremost I'd like to mention you
For the sake of conversation we'll call you the Brand New Heavy
Your a mix between an Ugnaut and Eugene Levy
You can call it big-boned, I prefer to call it gut
You're Buddha you're Shamu you're Jabba the fuckin' Hutt
You had harpoon scars and your boobies were hairy
I smelt tuna melt but I wasn't gonna worry
It was 3 A.M. and I wasn't gettin' squat
So I rolled you up in flour and aimed it for the wet spot
I was buttering rolls like a soup kitchen Christian
Then it hit me something bit me while my little rod was fishin'
I was deep sea fishing I took a fat chance
But how was i supposed to know that Jabberjaws lived in your pants
At that junction I came to realize
That only Frank Purdue likes thighs that size
Fatty fatty boom ba latty I gotta lament
That you were not a girl you were an experiment

Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(and I'm pretty fuckin' drunk)

Nexxus23 · Post by **Nexxus23** » Tue Jul 01, 2003 11:51 pm

Hey Ibbie, that reminds me of one of my all-time [url=http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Arena/8930/LyricsBungle1.html#squ]favorite songs!

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Worst SEX lines

Worst SEX lines

EviL: Lines from HeLL

heheh