Politically correct statments

shadow dancer · Post by **shadow dancer** » Wed Jul 30, 2003 3:05 pm

One of my coworkers sent this to me, and I thought I'd share.

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
He is not a BAD DANCER - He is RHYTHMICALLY CAUCASIAN.
He doesn't GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK -He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is SURGICALLY ENHANCED.
She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
She is not a TWO BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

MahoganyDawn · Post by **MahoganyDawn** » Wed Jul 30, 2003 3:15 pm

*ROFL* Thanks Jen!

iblis · Post by **iblis** » Wed Jul 30, 2003 3:26 pm

"Monogamously Challenged" would make an excellent T-shirt!

:mrgreen:

Sir Diddimus · Post by **Sir Diddimus** » Wed Jul 30, 2003 3:42 pm

Mellifluosity · Post by **Mellifluosity** » Wed Jul 30, 2003 3:45 pm

shadow dancer wrote:She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

tee hee...I think this one's my fav...

iblis · Post by **iblis** » Wed Jul 30, 2003 4:03 pm

Mellifluosity wrote:
shadow dancer wrote:She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

tee hee...I think this one's my fav...

"Low Cost Provider" is pretty cool, too.

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Wed Jul 30, 2003 4:12 pm

im still looking for women interested in me that are not a low cost provider.........
well i know one... :twisted:

The Fallen · Post by **The Fallen** » Wed Jul 30, 2003 4:18 pm

shadow dancer wrote:He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK -He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

I was accidentally horizontal at Sanctus :mrgreen:

iblis · Post by **iblis** » Wed Jul 30, 2003 4:58 pm

The Fallen wrote:
shadow dancer wrote:He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK -He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

I was accidentally horizontal at Sanctus

As such, you really are "the fallen".

MikeyMayhem · Post by **MikeyMayhem** » Fri Aug 01, 2003 12:34 pm

Hmmmmm.

lequam · Post by **lequam** » Fri Aug 01, 2003 4:59 pm

He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

Another great T_Shirt

Codeine Coma · Post by **Codeine Coma** » Tue Aug 05, 2003 7:22 am

I never was PC...Thanks for the list.

Politically correct statments

Politically correct statments

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