My inverse ego trip

celticsmith · Post by **celticsmith** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 10:23 pm

(I elected to post this in the dumpster, since that is where it belongs in my mind, though I was tempeted to do otherwise.)

It has come to my attention that I am NOT, as I had once presupposed, universally loved. Quite the contrary, there is a contingent, I presume to be in the minority, that do ,in fact, despise, revile, and ,dare I say, HATE me.

To this revelation I must confess great feelings of relief. I had begun to worry that all these insecurities and inadequacies were solely in my own mind and of my own manufacture. Now that I know that this is not the case and that people not only perceive these failings but actively dislike me for them, I have decided not to expire into that Nirvana of which I felt so unworthy.

Instead, I shall work to improve myself and fully realize the potentials of which I am capable. I am certain that through focused intent and hard work, I can become universally despised. Then, went it finally becomes too much or perhaps I have gone too far, I'll know that someone will murder me and send me to that Hell that I so fully and richly deserve.

With my inner torments thus silenced, I am certain that such external torments that Hell can provide will seem trivial at best and I shall rest well in the knowledge of a job well done.

That's all I had to say...(this time anyway)...so feel free to talk amongst yourselves.

(By the way, just in case some of you out there in wonderland were born without an Irony or Sarcasm gene, this is what is known as a joke. Admittedly, it is only funny to those who "really" know me as a hard callused uncaring bastard ( I am.) who wouldn't give a flip about "other people's feeling" ( I don't) .

So I suppose that leaves the majority out of the loop....so to speak. Ah well. Still, I am certain that those select and informed few will find this satirical farce to be.....moderately amusing.)

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 10:25 pm

if you want more people to hate you and very quickly, hang out with me more (which suits me fine cuz i think you rawk anyway).

in the words of chuck D "fuck fuck fuck em."

Post by **DarkVader** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 11:04 pm

eh, piss off, CS.

We like you. deal with it.

Mistress Eve(L) · Post by **Mistress Eve(L)** » Wed Nov 19, 2003 3:46 am

Yeah I think its a bit illegal to tell you what I thought of you....did you enjoy your drink(s)???

gwenhwyfar · Post by **gwenhwyfar** » Wed Nov 19, 2003 3:53 am

i think you should tell him anyways baby.

ms.tangledwebs · Post by **ms.tangledwebs** » Wed Nov 19, 2003 4:06 am

I don't like you

I LOVE you :flowers:

Mistress Eve(L) · Post by **Mistress Eve(L)** » Wed Nov 19, 2003 4:16 am

The telling could blow up his inverse ego trip!

celticsmith · Post by **celticsmith** » Wed Nov 19, 2003 6:39 am

DarkVader wrote:eh, piss off, CS.

We like you. deal with it.

The irony of this goes beyond my ability to convey.

The Stormstress · Post by **The Stormstress** » Wed Nov 19, 2003 5:38 pm

Not 2 derail ur inverse ego trip, but I think u'r pretty alright... kewl, even! :rock:

Dunno how much weight that carriez, tho; since it'z cumming from one of thoze peepz that most other peepz LUV 2 HATE!

Here'z a lil' sumthin' sumthin' 4 all of thoze haterz...

JaNell · Post by **JaNell** » Wed Nov 19, 2003 7:27 pm

This desperate plea for attention stuff has got to stop! We all hate you; deal with it.

You do have nice thighs and you're funny when you're hangin' with the green goddess, though.

Absinthia the Green Fairy · Thu Nov 20, 2003 1:06 am

celticsmith wrote:It has come to my attention that I am NOT, as I had once presupposed, universally loved.

I love you, Rick.
I love the way you taste me, being inside you, the pleasure I give you.

celticsmith · Post by **celticsmith** » Thu Nov 20, 2003 6:02 am

JaNell wrote:This desperate plea for attention stuff has got to stop! We all hate you; deal with it.

You do have nice thighs and you're funny when you're hangin' with the green goddess, though.

Isn't Green Goddess a salad dressing?

celticsmith · Post by **celticsmith** » Thu Nov 20, 2003 6:03 am

Absinthia the Green Fairy wrote:
celticsmith wrote:It has come to my attention that I am NOT, as I had once presupposed, universally loved.

I love you, Rick.
I love the way you taste me, being inside you, the pleasure I give you.

You make me feel like a natural woman.

Mother Mo · Post by **Mother Mo** » Thu Nov 20, 2003 5:47 pm

I lovz ya too, you Aquarian bastard! But feel free to piss off as many peeps as possible... we enjoy the entertainment.

iblis · Post by **iblis** » Thu Nov 20, 2003 5:59 pm

celticsmith wrote:
Absinthia the Green Fairy wrote:
celticsmith wrote:It has come to my attention that I am NOT, as I had once presupposed, universally loved.

I love you, Rick.
I love the way you taste me, being inside you, the pleasure I give you.

You make me feel like a natural woman.

celticsmith · Post by **celticsmith** » Thu Nov 20, 2003 5:59 pm

Ok, I think I posted this once before...but I'm gonna do it again cause it fits with this topic.

So I woke up one morning and had a startling revelation.

I realised that the reason I had been so unhappy in my past relationships was that I had never met that one perfect woman. My own personal idea woman of whom I should never tire for she is the embodiment of all that I worship and adore. The mere sight of her would fill me with desire. I would never be complete without her and thus be denied that potential bliss towards which all men aspire.

This is not a new concept, mind you. Men and women for millennia have been searching for that perfect mate. The primary problem is that they either have NO IDEA what that perfect mate would be like, or they have an imperfect vision of what they THINK they want, as opposed to what they really want which is NOT entirely the same thing.

Thanks to my revelation, I now know exactly what my perfect mate would be like. Unfortunately, She is rather specialized and rare. Even with the vast bulk of humanity to search through, I doubt there can be more than a few viable candidates.

My ideal mate is redheaded, heavily tattooed, lesbian, bodybuilder with artistic tendencies and who is a Nobel prize candidate.

Can't be too many of them around.

But that's OK....I have a plan.

First, I'll start by going to the gym. Then I'll get a dye job and a sex change. The tattoo's will be painful and expensive, but well worth the investment.

Then I can just fall in love with myself...

....and is that not the key to true happiness?

JaNell · Post by **JaNell** » Thu Nov 20, 2003 6:58 pm

celticsmith wrote:My ideal mate is redheaded, heavily tattooed, lesbian, bodybuilder with artistic tendencies and who is a Nobel prize candidate.

Well we had ya covered up until that "Nobel Prize candidate" part...
Are you stuck on that bit? 'Cause I may know as many as three people who fit all the rest of it.

:lol:

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Thu Nov 20, 2003 10:48 pm

holy shit thats great... haha
call me when you go get your tats, ill get some too.. but your on your own for the rest of it..
hahahahaha
great plan

iblis · Post by **iblis** » Fri Nov 21, 2003 12:05 am

junkie christ wrote:holy shit thats great... haha
call me when you go get your tats, ill get some too.. but your on your own for the rest of it..
hahahahaha
great plan

Oh c'mon, you know you want that gender change... :P~

celticsmith · Post by **celticsmith** » Fri Nov 21, 2003 8:55 am

JaNell wrote:
celticsmith wrote:My ideal mate is redheaded, heavily tattooed, lesbian, bodybuilder with artistic tendencies and who is a Nobel prize candidate.

Well we had ya covered up until that "Nobel Prize candidate" part...
Are you stuck on that bit? 'Cause I may know as many as three people who fit all the rest of it.

I am getting to old not to compromise my standards. Standards are for the young people who have not yet discovered that their high ideals are not worth the paper which they AREN"T written on.

To quote Alec Guinness in "Lawrence of Arabia"
---"War time is a time for young men and the virtues of young men, Honor and Bravery. Peace time is a time for old men and the virtues of old men, Treachery and Mistrust."

Peace out, Baby!

:twisted:

My inverse ego trip

My inverse ego trip

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