The Dear Ivanna Thread

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Sat May 08, 2004 5:39 pm

Ligeia wrote:Junkie, agreed.

i do have to say its probably the funniest shit ive read today though...... lol

Ligeia · Post by **Ligeia** » Sat May 08, 2004 5:47 pm

junkie christ wrote:
Ligeia wrote:Junkie, agreed.
i do have to say its probably the funniest shit ive read today though...... lol

Oh, no doubt, but I think i should have called this the "Be a penis to Ivanna Room"!

IVANNA!!! Get off your kiester and answer my question, woman! :evil:

scarecrow · Post by **scarecrow** » Sat May 08, 2004 6:35 pm

Ligeia wrote:
IVANNA!!! Get off your kiester and answer my question, woman!

AWNSER MINE TOO!!!!

:lol:

Snap Dragon · Post by **Snap Dragon** » Sat May 08, 2004 6:47 pm

OK....before I can post a logical answer to this......how old are you? I do know you are young, but I'm not sure how young....also, have you begun your period yet.....oh go fuck yourselves if you get grossed out by that.....females bleed....getthefuckusedtoit!!!!!!
_________________

I am 14.... and yes, I have. :oops:

So?.......What do you have to say? :?:

pryjmaty · Post by **pryjmaty** » Sat May 08, 2004 7:50 pm

Good gods!!! A woman does have to work, sleep, take care of midgets ya know!!!! I can't let you monopolize all my attention!!! I actually DO have better things to do than spend all fucking day on the computer!!!

Ligeia wrote:Ivanna,
If I throw a baseball southeast at a 60 degree angle from the ground on a day when the temperature is 72 degrees F. and the wind is blowing at 2.07mph at 3:17 in the afternoon, and i just painted my toenails blue, will it hit the neighbor''s window?

yes, but only if your toenails are the same color blue as the lips of an oxygen deprived person.

pryjmaty · Post by **pryjmaty** » Sat May 08, 2004 7:55 pm

LunaSea wrote:Dear Ivanna,
Is it wrong that I hate my ex but I let him think I miss him desparately just so he will have a hard time?

Hmmmm....a hard time in what way???

pryjmaty · Post by **pryjmaty** » Sat May 08, 2004 7:58 pm

scarecrow wrote:Dear Ivanna,

I have a slight swelling in a lower abdominal area. They say it's just normal but I don't know. Could you possibly have yourself or perhaps a "nurse" of some kind come check it out?

Sincerely,
Penile Corruption

I used to be a certified CNA....it's nothing a little ice can't cure.

pryjmaty · Post by **pryjmaty** » Sat May 08, 2004 8:02 pm

Ligeia wrote:
Oh, no doubt, but I think i should have called this the "Be a penis to Ivanna Room"!

*Edit* Was having a pissy night when I read the above quote.

pryjmaty · Post by **pryjmaty** » Sat May 08, 2004 8:30 pm

Snap dragon, it sure sux to be you right now, bless your heart. I wouldn't be 14 again for ANYTHING!!!!

We go through a lot of changes from the time we are about nine years old to the time we are about 20. We change from girls and boys into women and men. We go through these changes whether we're ready or not -- whether we want to or not -- and whether or not we know what's going on.

Our bodies change during these growing periods. Our feelings change, too -- our feelings about ourselves, our families, and about other people. Sometimes it seems the changes happen too fast. Sometimes we feel they don't happen fast enough. It can be very confusing.

Hormonal changes also can cause abrupt changes in moods. Often puberty and adolescence make you feel like you're on an emotional roller coaster. One day, you'll be as happy as can be, and you can't WAIT for tomorrow to come so you can do it all over again! Then, when that day comes, you can't bear to get up, and can't even imagine having to do schoolwork or chores. You just want to stay in bed all day, and never get up -- it's like you're depressed. Heh, I might be 35 but I can well remember the horrors of being 14! Mixed-up feelings are normal. Besides outside changes, you're changing on the inside. Glands that produce your hormones are in overdrive. This is all perfectly normal. Stressful and disconcerting, yes! I suggest that you find someone that you totally completely trust and talk about all you are feeling. Bottling it up will only make it worse and cause you to explode. If you feel like your feelings are intense enough or if you feel self-destructive, talk to your mom or dad about talking to a professional.

I don't feel like I've been very helpful.....but I truly hope I've helped you in some way!!!! *hugz*

Cryso lueth Wylthen · Post by **Cryso lueth Wylthen** » Sun May 09, 2004 8:03 pm

Beware, satyrical content aimed at myself

Dear Ivanna,

I have this wierd disease, it is so strange, I am scared to see it.
This disease forces my face to appear incredibly ugly(which it is) and people cringe at it's horrendece sight, can you give me a good way to tell them to piss off?

pryjmaty · Post by **pryjmaty** » Sun May 09, 2004 8:20 pm

Rose and Thorns wrote:Beware, satyrical content aimed at myself

Dear Ivanna,

I have this wierd disease, it is so strange, I am scared to see it.
This disease forces my face to appear incredibly ugly(which it is) and people cringe at it's horrendece sight, can you give me a good way to tell them to piss off?

LOL....There is always a simple "Piss off". At work, people usually leave me alone when I tell them that they look like they would be fun to stab.

RavenLunatic · Post by **RavenLunatic** » Sun May 09, 2004 9:52 pm

That's fucking hilarious!

Dear Ivanna:

Lately, my outlook on everything has been so negative. I don't even feel like myself. We're going through some financial bullshit & it seems like as soon as everything seems "ok" it only gets worse! Today didn't even seem like Mother's Day. I had to work, we were not busy, people wouldn't even leave tips & I thought of a MILLION other things I'd rather be doing! I get home & just start bawling & my little girl came up to me, gives me a hug, & tells me, "Don't cry mommy, everything will be ok." I almost hate myself for feeling this way & breaking down in front of the children like that, but sometimes I just don't know what else to do. On top of all that, I have a toothache that I can't do anything about cuz I have no money! I feel like I'm in some deep, dark hole trying to find my way out, but it only gets deeper & darker! I know what I should do to keep my emotions contained, whether sad or angry, but then bullshit only seems to continue to happen more often! I try to act like nothing is bothering me in order to keep from bringing those around me down, but I just don't know how much longer I can wear this mask. :-(

pryjmaty · Post by **pryjmaty** » Sun May 09, 2004 11:03 pm

RavenLunatic wrote::lol: That's fucking hilarious!

Dear Ivanna:

Lately, my outlook on everything has been so negative. I don't even feel like myself. We're going through some financial bullshit & it seems like as soon as everything seems "ok" it only gets worse! Today didn't even seem like Mother's Day. I had to work, we were not busy, people wouldn't even leave tips & I thought of a MILLION other things I'd rather be doing! I get home & just start bawling & my little girl came up to me, gives me a hug, & tells me, "Don't cry mommy, everything will be ok." I almost hate myself for feeling this way & breaking down in front of the children like that, but sometimes I just don't know what else to do. On top of all that, I have a toothache that I can't do anything about cuz I have no money! I feel like I'm in some deep, dark hole trying to find my way out, but it only gets deeper & darker! I know what I should do to keep my emotions contained, whether sad or angry, but then bullshit only seems to continue to happen more often! I try to act like nothing is bothering me in order to keep from bringing those around me down, but I just don't know how much longer I can wear this mask.

Darlin', I believe you just wrote the story of my life for the last couple of years or so. A very good friend of mine posted something similar on her Xanga site.....not about herself, but about observing this in so many of her friend's lives. I agree with her in that the bad times do not make the good times sweeter; they only serve to make one more cynical when something good comes along.....wondering when we're gonna get kicked in the teeth again. It totally sux goat's ass when you encounter people and they ask how you are doing and you look at them, smile and say "Just fine.". I have a couple of very close friends that I am able to vent to.....heh, if I didn't, I would completely explode and would have to be locked up in a nut house. And then, there are the midgets.....gods knows I can't have the sperm donor raising them!!! They are what keeps me going. Yeah, I fuck up as a mom....heh, I did today....but they know that I love them and am doing everything I can for them. As a mom, you have to reach deep inside yourself and pull out that strength that is there to keep going. Take it one day at a time. I'm not gonna say that it will get better.....I will say that you are instilling some very important values in your child. I would much rather struggle for the rest of my life if it meant that the midgets learned to work for the things they get, not to expect things handed to them on a silver platter, not to be lazy, to be honest in their dealings, etc. Look at your midget.....pick her up and snuggle her in your lap......and KNOW that you are doing the very best that you can..... you CANNOT expect anymore of yourself than that!!!!

RavenLunatic · Post by **RavenLunatic** » Mon May 10, 2004 8:53 am

Thank you. :-)

And I snuggle my midgets everyday. They are my life. I tell myself if I weren't going through all this BS, what am I going to teach them? So, in a fucked up sort of way, I suppose I brought this all on myself. It's all a learning experience I guess.

vicious_blood · Post by **vicious_blood** » Mon May 10, 2004 4:30 pm

Dear Ivanna,

Why did my parents decide to procreate?

pryjmaty · Post by **pryjmaty** » Mon May 10, 2004 5:07 pm

vicious_blood wrote:Dear Ivanna,

Why did my parents decide to procreate?

Are you positive that it was a conscious decision on their part to do so?

lovechild · Post by **lovechild** » Mon May 10, 2004 5:09 pm

dear ivanna,

when will i have this baby?!?!

pryjmaty · Post by **pryjmaty** » Mon May 10, 2004 5:15 pm

lovechild wrote:dear ivanna,

when will i have this baby?!?!

LMAO!!! Some seem to think I'm pretty good with advice; however, I'm NOT psychic.

I will tell you this though.....I had both of my girls on their due date......within an hour of having sex with their father, I went into labor with both of them. It doesn't always work, but it did, twice, for me. So start having your man bang the hell out of you! Despite alot of fears, it will NOT hurt your baby.....UNLESS your Dr. has cautioned you away from sex right now. Yes, it will be uncomfy as hell, heh, but nothing compared to child birth!

Coor · Post by **Coor** » Mon May 10, 2004 5:31 pm

Actually, my sister's doc TOLD her to have sex, to help enduce the labor.

vicious_blood · Post by **vicious_blood** » Mon May 10, 2004 5:58 pm

LadyIvanna wrote:
vicious_blood wrote:Dear Ivanna,

Why did my parents decide to procreate?

Are you positive that it was a conscious decision on their part to do so?

Hmmm...no...

But maybe that explains why my "mother" drinks alot.