so roar already...

[punkrockjoe]

I have felt the need to understand how the world woiks for the ladies I talk to on a day to day basis...I know it's probably not much diffrent than mine....but I get so buried in my machoshithead world that I need a dose of reality...this almost always comes from the women in my life...so ...enlighten me...whats fucked up..whats working well and what can we do to improve it...who's got the best chocolate??I just recently started eating chocolate over the last few weeks and would like to find the best of the best.....whatever comes to mind...please dont laugh at me for this...theres still a little left (pats heart wistfully)

[sinful_fetish]

I have felt the need to understand how the world woiks for the ladies I talk to on a day to day basis...I know it's probably not much diffrent than mine....but I get so buried in my machoshithead world that I need a dose of reality...this almost always comes from the women in my life...so ...enlighten me...whats fucked up..whats working well and what can we do to improve it...who's got the best chocolate??I just recently started eating chocolate over the last few weeks and would like to find the best of the best.....whatever comes to mind...please dont laugh at me for this...theres still a little left (pats heart wistfully)

My two cents:

Whats fucked up - When a man talks to your tits and/or touches them without permission. Don't talk about your ex, we really don't care.

Whats working well - Buying us drinks with the knowledge that you probably won't get laid. Appreciating that we probably took 2 hours getting ready.

Improvement - Not sure on this one, everyone needs improvement even women.

The best chocolate - the ghiradellis or however you spell it. So fucking good.

mmhmmm thats it

*andrea*

[QueenOfTheFlock]

I guess the chocolate is the only way I've been able to be a bad influence on you. Hehe.

Other good chocolate is Lindt truffles, Dove Promises (plus they have lovely words of encouragement in the wrappers), also Dove Milk Chocolate coated ice cream bars. You already know the addiction of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough...the best IMO is the Pillsbury. Umm...I'll think more on this one and get back to you later.

As for the other questions...well, they require too much thought for me at the moment but I will answer those soon too.

[pryjmaty]

chocolate = GODIVA!!!!!

Don't pick your nose.....don't fart around her, say 'excuse me' when you belch, pay attention to the LITTLE things about her.....REALLY LISTEN & pay attention to the things that she says......don't disregard a casual comment.

[bloodymerry]

chocolate = GODIVA!!!!!

oh sweet heavens, yes. the almond butter truffles that are, like, $2.00 a pop, those are amazing. one of the best things i've ever put in my mouth.

as for the rest, my general rule of thumb (and this goes for all genders and species) is this: assume nothing. everyone fits some stereotypes in some ways and completely goes against the grain in other areas. one of my biggest pet peeves is when someone says, 'because you're a woman [insert stereotype here].' ditto for 'because you're a man.' some men don't like sports, some do, some women don't wear makeup, some do, etc. for example, i love kitties and chocolate and roses and long baths, but i hate cooking, not going dutch on a first date, and the idea of marriage (for myself; for others, go right ahead!), and i hardly ever wear makeup (unless i'm feeling frisky). we all take what works for us and discard the rest. i'm sure that you do that with the macho stuff, too, punkrockjoe. unless you really do fit the macho, beer-lovin', sports watchin', backwards cap wearin', ball scratchin' guy's guy to a tee, in which case, my mistake!

just try to take people on an individual basis (something which it seems you try to do, judging from your earlier posts). it's lofty, and it can't always be done, but, y'know. we do what we can.

(p.s. don't let the optimism fool you. that's part of the illusion, too.)

[QueenOfTheFlock]

i'm sure that you do that with the macho stuff, too, punkrockjoe. unless you really do fit the macho, beer-lovin', sports watchin', backwards cap wearin', ball scratchin' guy's guy to a tee, in which case, my mistake!

*snort*
Hehe...sorry. Just imagining Joe wearing a backwards cap....I just can't see it.

*note to self: Take Hello Kitty cap with me next time I go to visit*

Mwahahahahahaha

[The Stormstress]

Fuct up? ... the world

Working well? ... My libido

Mprove? ... limitless possibilitiez ... the mind bogglez ...


Chocol8?

Ghiradelli (sp?) Chocol8 !!!

Godiva Liquer over ice iz smooth & sweet n all flavorz (Choc, White Choc, & Cappaccino, I think )!! Also, goez over well with the ladiez --- a sipping drink ... Yummy!

[BearDragonLady]

why roar when you can just hit 'em with an ax

[shadow dancer]

What works for me?
Someone who respects my strength and independence without taking it for granted or taking advantage of it.
Someone who realizes that a relationship is made up of two individuals and respects the other's differences.
Someone who is considerate. Something that I can remember a man doing for me on a first date was asking me if I minded him smoking even though we were in a club full of people smoking. I didn't mind that he smoked, but the fact that he was considerate enough to ask made me look at him in a very pleasant light.
Someone who doesn't tell me what to do. Asking me to do or not to do something will go a lot further than just telling me.
"Hi, my name is ???" will go a lot further with me than "Can I buy you a drink?" I am probably in the minority here though, so you might not want to take my word for it. I don't accept drinks bought for me by people that aren't friends of mine. I don't like the potential implications or risks associated with it.
Someone who invests enough time and is observant enough to pick up on my body language.
Someone who doesn't kiss my ass. I like people who take the initiative at times and who have their own ideas and opinions even if they don't agree with mine.
Someone who can debate without fighting.

What's fucked up?
People who get involved with someone and try to change the person afterwards. If you don't like the entire package to start with, either learn to accept those things you don't like or don't get involved. Noone out there is going to be perfect.
People in relationships who don't trust each other. I have to sit back and ask, "Why bother?" Insecurity is a personal issue. One shouldn't make the other pay for it.
Either half of a relationship trying to control the other. Just because one tells the other that he/she doesn't want them to do something does not stop the other from still wanting to do it.
The comment, "You should know what you did." (regardless if male or female)
Where love relationships are concerned, someone getting upset because the other was looking at another male/female. It is human nature to look at the opposite sex. There are a lot of attractive people in the world on the outside; my SO has never gotten upset that I have commented that another male was attractive, and I've never gotten upset if he finds another female attractive. Most likely, I'm going to agree with him. That being said, there is a difference at looking at once or casually throughout the night as opposed to staring at the entire night.

Improvements?
The improvement that I see that is needed in most relationships (friendship, love, family, etc.), including my own, is communication. It is a weakness that I have that I've seen from many others.

Chocolate?
I'm personally not a fan of it. I'm more about the chewy, fruity candy. Give me Skittles or Dots anyday, and I'm happy.

[vicious_blood]

Um...well my 2 cents about what girls don't like.

1) I personaly don't like drugs and all that shit. Not that I'm claiming to be straight edge cause we all know I'm not. I think I'm just past the point of that. So if someone makes a line for me and all that shit, then I lose basically all my respect for that person.

2) No touching unless its waranted. I think thats the right word anyways. Don't touch unless I say it's ok. Cuddling is good, but only when it's welcomed.

3) Don't be bossy and all that shit.

4) I have to agree with the whole "getting ready" thing that Andrea mentioned.

There's alot more but I will spare the drama.

[gwenhwyfar]

godiva has the word "god" in it for a reason

i can't say much since i'm a prime example of the girl who chases after boys that treat her like shit thinking that they will stop, when the prince is right under her nose.

but i will say......

don't assume, that just because you're a "pimp" or because i said i liked you once, that i want you to put your dick in any part of my body.

notice something other than my hair, my tits, or my outfit. compliment my earrings instead of my boots, or the ringlets in my hair instead of the color; its always red people!! a simple "you look really nice tonight" will do a hell of alot better than "i like your corset".
or... if you just HAVE to gawk at the merchandise, be honest about it. just straight up tell me that i look fuckably deluxe instead of asking me if i want to hang out while staring at my T&A.

don't wait till we're crying, cuz we feel fat and ugly, to tell us we're beautiful. especially when you've been entranced by clara all night.

don't try to come home with me when you've up on every other girl that night, it just makes me feel like a last resort or "back up pussy in a glass case"- in case of emergency, break glass.

don't assume that just because i'm in a pissy mood that i'm having my period or pms. some chicks are cool about it, but most aren't. so your best bet is to just not even go there.

don't EVER treat us like obsessive freaks or psychos when we are trying to be mature and communicate, or understand, or work things out. we don't take lightly to that. most chicks i know don't like things to end in confusion or go unresolved. so if we say we need to talk, then let us talk. it really is that simple.

....now, if she's trying to kill herself at work or in your presence, or drives by your place repeatedly, sends several emails a day, or calls obsessively, makes up stories or lies to get your attention, follows you, sits outside your house watching you, or sends you weird gifts like black flowers or a doll with little pins in it or dead animals; THEN she is a psycho and you should invest in a restraining order.
remember fatal attraction or swimfan, THAT is psycho!

if a girl you've been friends with for quite a while comes to you with boyfriend problems or "frustrations". 99.9% of the time, its because she needs to talk to someone and get a different perspective. because you are her friend, you qualify. because you are male, you are the perfect candidate to talk to about it. so with that said, DO NOT attempt to try to seize that as an opportunity to fuck her!! just because she may be frustrated, does not mean that she wants you to take care of those needs. if she did, she would tell you.

don't ever ask me for head or whine about it. especially if you never return the favor. it pisses me off. if i want to do it, i will. and for that matter, if i am going downtown, it better be clean goddamnit! if it wreaks of rotten ass, i'll be pissed and never do it again.
AND... boys don't EVER forcefully put your hand on her head and start pushing! i dunno about anyone else, but i will fucking bite.

and while on that subject, if you've been someone for a while and they NEVER go that route, its prolly for a reason. go buy some antibacterial, deodorant soap and WASH YOUR SHIT!!!! top to bottom, front to back, leave no corner untouched.

i'll stop now. thank you for your time.

[QueenOfTheFlock]

Well...I came back with more opinions but it's all basically been covered by Shadow Dancer and Gwenhwyfar. Very well said Ladies!

[Mother Mo]

Yes, some excellent advice, indeed. Also important to remember about the ladies... no two are ever alike. Get to know the individual & what they appreciate. There are few universal laws... except maybe that whole hygenic thing. Be polite, respectful, & treat her as well as you'd want you're mother or sister or future daughters treated. All women are goddesses & deserve to be worshipped. Preferred methods of worship vary from female to female.

Good advice... share some of that Godiva chocolate with her for a start!

Flowers can be great... provided she isn't allergic.

Opening doors & carrying her crap can score some major points with alot of chicks.

Affection for affection's sake is a winner. Don't press it into sex. If you play it just right, she'll be the one initiating it anyway.

Take her seriously no matter what time of the month it is. But if it's that time, give her more chocolate.

Let her know that you think of her. Remember little details from conversations & use them to your advantage. Women communicate all the information you'd ever need to know about them if you pay attention closely. Also remember that most of the communication can be nonverbal.

Tricky business, but well worth the effort!

Good luck, dear!

[Coor]

thank you ladies...this has been informative thus far...I am trying to reconnect with my goddess aspects...and I also just like to know what makes you ladies tick...I suppose this is an unusual trait for males...and bloodymerry..unfortunatly I am a typical male except for the ball cap, fratdaddy look, nothing wrong with it...just I chose to define my masculinity through other means...a mans man loves women..right??..I figure that should apply in every since of the word...so I try to keep the spitting and grunting to time with my boyz...I really appreciated gwenhyfar's post in particular...while I am as lusty(if not more) than your average man I also would like to learn more about what makes women feel good about themselves and what habits we have that makes women feel less than appreciated...I suppose it will seem odd but I am a romantic at heart and it does me more good to make a women swoon by my words and deeds than to rock her bedposts for a couple of hours...not that Im against that or anything ...so please continue...I am enjoying the input greatly..as an aside...communication is very important to me as well..I'll be making a career out of it so what are some of the things you wonderful women do that are missed so often to tell us how you feel??

[punkrockjoe]

oops wrong account...that was all me...sorry

[vicious_blood]

Yeah, yeah...we all know Coors a tranny.

[dragon_gurl]

godiva has the word "god" in it for a reason


AND... boys don't EVER forcefully put your hand on her head and start pushing! i dunno about anyone else, but i will fucking bite.

.

Very good peice of advice.

Here is my 2 cents...

Don't tell me what a sleezeball my exboyfriend is. Chances are I already know. But i also know his good points too. And i know these things alot better then you do.

Don't Invalidate you partner (male or female) By blowing off whatever they say like it is nothing, doesn't apply to you, or is not important.

And as mentioned above don't assume a girl in a bad mood is on her period. Some girls don't even have them due to birth control. If guys are allowed to be in a bad mood and it not be "hormonal" then why can't girls be.

Do not call me at 3 in the morning after you have been drinking all night and getting teased by girls who aren't interested. (or been at strip clubs, if you are going to a strip club and then want some after you leave there, then take me with you, your chances of getting some increase.) Booty calls are rude and invalidating. I am not a cheap slut, so don't try to treat me like one.

[The Stormstress]

Booty calls are rude and invalidating. I am not a cheap slut, so don't try to treat me like one.

That generally holdz tru 4 more serious relationshipz ... It'z perfectly acceptable 4 most f*ck buddiez, tho ... Sumtimez it can b fun 2 play the slut, but being uzed & treated like 1 by ur b'luved can b hurtful.

[Scorptrio]

Still laughing about PRJ posting under Coor's account. I was reading it over and over thinking "That's not Coor posting... no wait, that bit does sound like Coor... but that bit doesn't... wait..."

Just to throw in a couple pennies here... it sounds like the ladies are saying they want a "nice guy" but as we all know, the "nice guy" ends up with dozens of lady friends and never gets laid, so be aware of the dichotomy and maybe give that romantic nice guy a second look once in awhile.

[Scorptrio]

After thinking a few things over, I saw the incomplete thought in the previous post. What I'm trying to communicate here is closer to the following.

Most women are looking for the "complete package." Most of these are willing to either settle for as complete a package as they can find or at least accept a Mr. Right Now while waiting for Mr. Right. (This is a job for Super Man, but since he's not here, I'll get Better Than Average Guy instead.) A common misconception is that some qualities automatically preclude others. Such as, if a man is sensitive and a "nice guy" then he can't also have the qualities of the warrior archetype (protector, defender, champion etc.) or the qualities of the "bad boy" as well. The point is, wouldn't the "complete package" by definition have both those seemingly disparate qualities but only manifest them at the right time? Just a thought.