Found this on another forum.. Not sure if it's serious but it's still funny.
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St. Mary's Church - Is your child a Goth?
This was an actual letter sent out by the St. Mary's Church.
If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!
Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord.
Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:
-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats excessively or too little.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
Aaromier: -Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
-Claims to be a goth.
If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.
~St. Mary's Catholic Church
Beware of the Goth child!!!!
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CryptMonger
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vicious_blood
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Re: Beware of the Goth child!!!!
CryptMonger wrote:Complains of boredom.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
Boredom really is the devil, tho.
Maybe they should speak to General Mills or whoever make Count Dracula, since it's apparently a hazzard.
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sinful_fetish
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-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Masturbates
Damn it. I guess I really am going to hell.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Masturbates
Damn it. I guess I really am going to hell.
Making a HONDA fast is like coming out of the closet, yeah you might suprise a few people; but in the end.. your still gay.
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Mercurygriffin
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Re: Beware of the Goth child!!!!
<-Frequently wears black clothing.
<-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
<-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music.
<-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
<-Drinks alcohol.
<-Complains of boredom.
<-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
<-Is excessively awake during the night.
<-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light.
<-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
<-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources.
<-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
<-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
<-Expresses an interest in sex.
<-Masturbates
<-Aaromier: -Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
I think it is safe to say that by their line of thought I am PURE evil.
<-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
<-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music.
<-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
<-Drinks alcohol.
<-Complains of boredom.
<-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
<-Is excessively awake during the night.
<-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light.
<-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
<-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources.
<-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
<-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
<-Expresses an interest in sex.
<-Masturbates
<-Aaromier: -Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
I think it is safe to say that by their line of thought I am PURE evil.
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QueenOfTheFlock
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Re: Beware of the Goth child!!!!
Here are the ones that apply to me:
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is depressed. (isn't the whole word at least a little depressed anymore?)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats excessively or too little.
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates
I think I got delete happy and deleted a couple that actually did apply but well...yeah.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is depressed. (isn't the whole word at least a little depressed anymore?)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats excessively or too little.
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates
I think I got delete happy and deleted a couple that actually did apply but well...yeah.
Libby
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Everything tastes better when the novacaine sets in.
------
Everything tastes better when the novacaine sets in.
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CryptMonger
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- Contact:
-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
Oh no, I'm fucked!
Oh, and
I really want a button that says "Woe is me." Anyone have a button making device?
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
Oh no, I'm fucked!
Oh, and
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
I really want a button that says "Woe is me." Anyone have a button making device?
If she were a street gang, I'd go to war with her with bottles and chains.
the ones on this list that do not pertain to me are:
-Takes drugs.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
-Eats excessively or too little.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Claims to be a goth.
damn it i need to get with the program.
and i just noticed this..
"-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism. "
yes because philosophy, scientology paganism, hinduism, and buddhism are soooo dangerous. .
-Takes drugs.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
-Eats excessively or too little.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Claims to be a goth.
damn it i need to get with the program.
and i just noticed this..
"-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism. "
yes because philosophy, scientology paganism, hinduism, and buddhism are soooo dangerous. .
Making a HONDA fast is like coming out of the closet, yeah you might suprise a few people; but in the end.. your still gay.
-
http://www.xanga.com/karmakaze
http://www.myspace.com/karmakaze
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http://www.xanga.com/karmakaze
http://www.myspace.com/karmakaze
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Mercurygriffin
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pryjmaty wrote:i hate to think what life would be like if i was to abstain from EVERYTHING on that list.
i don't know, but it would be really crappy sex.
Making a HONDA fast is like coming out of the closet, yeah you might suprise a few people; but in the end.. your still gay.
-
http://www.xanga.com/karmakaze
http://www.myspace.com/karmakaze
-
http://www.xanga.com/karmakaze
http://www.myspace.com/karmakaze
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CryptMonger
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- Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2004 12:19 am
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W3ll this whole thing kinda reminds me of all the teens of today that are "BI-POLAR" and need to get on medication because they are being rebellious towards parents and other authoritaritive figures.
How about we go back to how it used to be and beat thier ass... I'll bet they forget all about being bi-polar!!!! I know I was a darn rebel as a kid and there was no such thing as bi-polar... you got your ass beat and drove on.
Besides do you realize how many millions of dollars parents are pumping into the pharma industry to get downers for thier kids.
How about we go back to how it used to be and beat thier ass... I'll bet they forget all about being bi-polar!!!! I know I was a darn rebel as a kid and there was no such thing as bi-polar... you got your ass beat and drove on.
Besides do you realize how many millions of dollars parents are pumping into the pharma industry to get downers for thier kids.
Frequently wears black clothing.
check
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
check
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
nope
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.
ankhs are satanic?
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
didn't us sailors get tattoos
jesus got pierced
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
i dunno what to say hear
but a really good book about this kind of backwards thought
is
raising a pg kid in an x rated society
by the queen of queens
tipper gore
you'll laugh your ass off
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
god forbid
but check again
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
check
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
well i dunno about vampires and magic
but i do like death
would crime scene detectives or funeral home owners be goths
check again
-Takes drugs.
(most likely you've been feeding your kids drug problems from an early age cuz your a shitty parent and solve the problem with
ritalin , and probably have a little zoloft or valium problem yourself)
anyway
check
(man this isn't looking good for me)
-Drinks alcohol.
to excess nightly
didnt they drink wine back in the jesus days
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
who doesn't get fucking depressed
it's a geniune emotion that means that your really alive
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
i think these people are the ones in need of mental health
i think they watch more satan movies than any of us
-Complains of boredom.
what ?!?!?
kids get bored
give it more drugs to shut it up
any way check again
i thought it was a normal human feeling to be bored
but i must be turning into "creature of the night"
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
sodas, poor diet, anxiety, drugs
-Is excessively awake during the night.
sucking blood from your husbands neck
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
absurd
probably hung over
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
nothing wrong with not wanting relgious fanatics in your business
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
probably has no friends because you won't let them act like a normal kid
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
maybe needs so me peace and quiet from the bullshit they had to put up with at highschool today
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
growing up?
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
growing up?
-Misbehaves at school.
growing up?
-Misbehaves at home.
growing up?
-Eats excessively or too little.
be a parent and make a real fucking meal ?
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
LOL ABSURD
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
ok i dunno about this one
i guess if my kid somehow managed to find excessive ammounts of blood to drink
we'd probably tak
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
wierd i kinda agree here
but don't they own all these media sources anyway
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
you mean gta
at least they aren't really shooting hookers in the face
though if you stay on their backs like this
you'll probably breed the next serial killer for us to gawk at
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
jesus christ i'm a vampire
help
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
lol man
\m/
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
i thought we got over this with elvis
-Expresses an interest in sex.
well what the fuck
obviously someone had to have some sex to have this fuckin kid
isn't it instinctual to want to procreate as you mature
-Masturbates
god help as all
some is actually pleasureing themselves
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
cuz all gays are goth
or wait
all goths are gay
Aaromier: -Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
so buddhism and hinduism aren't really religions anymore
they are cults now?
when did that happen
and what the fuck
philosophy
what the fuck is wrong with phiosphy
that's a cult?
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
wheww barely escaped that one
damn you hot topic
-Claims to be a goth.
will get over it next week when they see something else to claim to be on mtv
If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.
dangerous how ?
check
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
check
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
nope
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.
ankhs are satanic?
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
didn't us sailors get tattoos
jesus got pierced
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
i dunno what to say hear
but a really good book about this kind of backwards thought
is
raising a pg kid in an x rated society
by the queen of queens
tipper gore
you'll laugh your ass off
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
god forbid
but check again
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
check
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
well i dunno about vampires and magic
but i do like death
would crime scene detectives or funeral home owners be goths
check again
-Takes drugs.
(most likely you've been feeding your kids drug problems from an early age cuz your a shitty parent and solve the problem with
ritalin , and probably have a little zoloft or valium problem yourself)
anyway
check
(man this isn't looking good for me)
-Drinks alcohol.
to excess nightly
didnt they drink wine back in the jesus days
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
who doesn't get fucking depressed
it's a geniune emotion that means that your really alive
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
i think these people are the ones in need of mental health
i think they watch more satan movies than any of us
-Complains of boredom.
what ?!?!?
kids get bored
give it more drugs to shut it up
any way check again
i thought it was a normal human feeling to be bored
but i must be turning into "creature of the night"
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
sodas, poor diet, anxiety, drugs
-Is excessively awake during the night.
sucking blood from your husbands neck
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
absurd
probably hung over
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
nothing wrong with not wanting relgious fanatics in your business
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
probably has no friends because you won't let them act like a normal kid
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
maybe needs so me peace and quiet from the bullshit they had to put up with at highschool today
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
growing up?
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
growing up?
-Misbehaves at school.
growing up?
-Misbehaves at home.
growing up?
-Eats excessively or too little.
be a parent and make a real fucking meal ?
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
LOL ABSURD
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
ok i dunno about this one
i guess if my kid somehow managed to find excessive ammounts of blood to drink
we'd probably tak
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
wierd i kinda agree here
but don't they own all these media sources anyway
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
you mean gta
at least they aren't really shooting hookers in the face
though if you stay on their backs like this
you'll probably breed the next serial killer for us to gawk at
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
jesus christ i'm a vampire
help
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
lol man
\m/
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
i thought we got over this with elvis
-Expresses an interest in sex.
well what the fuck
obviously someone had to have some sex to have this fuckin kid
isn't it instinctual to want to procreate as you mature
-Masturbates
god help as all
some is actually pleasureing themselves
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
cuz all gays are goth
or wait
all goths are gay
Aaromier: -Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
so buddhism and hinduism aren't really religions anymore
they are cults now?
when did that happen
and what the fuck
philosophy
what the fuck is wrong with phiosphy
that's a cult?
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
wheww barely escaped that one
damn you hot topic
-Claims to be a goth.
will get over it next week when they see something else to claim to be on mtv
If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.
dangerous how ?
i'd rather be your enemy than hear you call me friend
rec|use wrote:
and what the fuck
philosophy
what the fuck is wrong with phiosphy
that's a cult?
Dunno, maybe they are threatened by philosophy cause it teaches people to actually think. God forbid that someone think for themselves. That might lead to rebellion, wearing black clothing and eating Count Chocula cereal.
Last edited by pryjmaty on Sun Jan 16, 2005 8:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If god had wanted us to bend over, she would have put diamonds on the floor.
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sinful_fetish
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