I need your help

If it's not covered by one of those other categories, you should probably talk about it here. Be nice.
failure
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I need your help

Post by failure »

Hello,
My name is Joe I'm new. I have a bit of a problem. I'm in love....... But I fucked up. BAD. To make things short I let too much shit pile up, and I let things get out of hand. I hurt someone i care about. I'll do whatever I have to do to get her back. Now I have decent luck with women, But this girl is different than what im used to. Shes one of you. I have no way of knowing how to let her know I fucked up and I realize it. I have it under control, But she wont give me a chance. I'm not used to girls like her, shes so complex. I dont know how her mind works, so i'm back to the basics. A lot of you know her, all she talks about is Sanctus and the people there. So if anyone can help, it's you guys (and girls).Any help will be much appreciated.
Thanks guys,
best wishes
Joe Ramsey
If this bottle had a trigger, I'd take another shot.
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TheInfiniteMonkey
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Post by TheInfiniteMonkey »

Abject public apologies can be a good way to start. Other than that I am the LAST person qualified to give relationship advice. I will say however that SHOWING you've changed is the ONLY way someone will see it. And that takes a lot more time than just telling them. Time does heal all wounds, but it scars something fierce.

Good Luck.
“A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.â€
4X541N7
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Post by 4X541N7 »

Do you want the honest truth?

If you aren't prepared for it...Don't read further...

OK...In your own words...You 'Fucked up'...If that's what you did...& she won't speak to you now...There's probably a reason...She probably doesn't want anything to do with you...You blew your shot, there kid...Sorry to say it...& by trying to apologize, & talk to her about it...You're just pounding more nails into that coffin...Seriously...That's not how it works...Honestly...Give her some time...& just let things work out...THEN try to talk to her...Because now...It's just not gonna happen...Also...Lighten up on the humility...Change your screenname...No person in the world deserves that much groveling...& no one can respect you for it...

failure wrote:Shes one of you.


BTW...What the hell do you really think this means?...We are a community...We're a scene...Not a cult...Not tearing into you...I'm not offended...I just wanted to make sure you understood that...

Now.......[/DearAbby]
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vicious_blood
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Re: I need your help

Post by vicious_blood »

failure wrote:Shes one of you.

Hmm...uh, ok...


So it sounds like to me, you don't know what will sweep her off her feet, but you're in love with her...
I agree with monkey, but don't forget deep down every girl is a romantic. Flowers and poetry might do the trick...or something along those lines.
And just because she goes to Sanctus and dresses in black doesn't mean she's your typical goth kid. Everyone is unique, treat her like it.
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Mercurygriffin
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Post by Mercurygriffin »

I say jump in head first and see what this group of people are really like. Go to events, slam a few drinks and if by some chance you don't find someone else, your little crush (whoever it is) will see you and think that you have gone through this change and fall in love with you and you will cheat on her with a dragqueen. :twisted:
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pryjmaty
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Post by pryjmaty »

Actions speak louder than words. You can publically appologize, talk to her till you fall over dead......IF she has ANYTHING left for you in her heart, until you prove it, she's going to continue to not give you the time of day.
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Post by judas gnb »

well i was goin to jump on here and be a smart ass and trev beat me to it goddamn kid it scary we see eye to eye more and more each day
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Mother Mo
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Post by Mother Mo »

Mercurygriffin wrote:I say jump in head first and see what this group of people are really like. Go to events, slam a few drinks and if by some chance you don't find someone else, your little crush (whoever it is) will see you and think that you have gone through this change and fall in love with you and you will cheat on her with a dragqueen. :twisted:


I don't know, Merc, that might also be interpreted as stalker behavior. For that matter, showing up on this board & posting under the name "failure" might be construed that way as well. 4X541N7 is right about trying too hard. That'll screw up your cause 9.5 times out of 10. And, no, we're not all alike, so we can't advise you on how to seduce goth chicks. Just let some time pass & really try to correct the things I'm sure she's expressed her dislike for. Then just aim for being her friend for a while. Be sincerely happy with whatever she wants, because if you really care about someone, you do really want whatever will make them happy... up to & including your own absence.

Good luck.
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junkie christ
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Post by junkie christ »

have meaningless sex with random people until you find someone that you end up caring about
masturbate alot
drink alot
dont keep in contact with your friends so much
stop showing up to work as much

oh wait
im describing what most people do in this situation
DONT try those routes (well except the masturbating thing) and actually think your way thru it

that might include admitting its over.
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failure
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Thanks guys (and girls).

Post by failure »

First off, I want to say I didn't mean any disrespect by the *One of you.* comment. What I meant was: You all seem like a big fun family, what you have is a very great thing. I fealt (and saw) no tension whatsoever between anyone there. I'm not used to that. Wow. From what I've heard and seen, you guys are great people ( to each other anyways). I apologize for any disrespect whatsoever. I would love to be a part of what you have. As for my name, I fuck a lot of things up,( on a daily basis). The relationship thing is the tip of the iceberg. So the name seems rather fitting to me. I want to thank you all for your replies and your help. I'm not going to give up.I will fight, tooth and fucking nail to get her back. Thank you all again. Have a happy......... April?
Hoping to see you all soon,
Joe
If this bottle had a trigger, I'd take another shot.
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Jack
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Post by Jack »

The sad truth is that in all likelihood you have no realistic chance of getting her back.

Learn from it and move on.
I was born a bastard - and then I just got worse.
blindboy
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Post by blindboy »

There are roughly six billion people in the world. Six fucking billion. Thats a six with nine zeros after it. Screw that one and only line of thought. I figure there are about 10,000 "one and onlys" for each of us. Listen to Jack learn from your mistakes and move on.
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Hardcoregirl
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Re: Thanks guys (and girls).

Post by Hardcoregirl »

failure wrote: You all seem like a big fun family, what you have is a very great thing.


Well, we certainly put the fun back in dysfunctional...;)
blindboy
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Post by blindboy »

fo rizzile my nizzle.
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B_Ko
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Re: I need your help

Post by B_Ko »

failure wrote:...Shes one of you...

ONE OF US! ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

[/creepy cult chant]
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Bigun
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Post by Bigun »

I understand where your coming from.... now you need to under stand where she's coming from. She is a certain way and you need to blend with how *she* is... naturally... don't force yourself to be what you are not... I hate posers, and I'm assuming a few other people on here do as well. If said girl hangs out with this group, I suggest you find another goth group to hang with in another city and see if you like it. If not, then you two weren't meant to click... no biggie... move on. If you are, you'll need to season yourself and see what parts of the goth lifestyle fit your personality. Not all Goth's smoke cloves, not all goths are anti-christian, not all goths dress in black, and not all goths are the same. You don't have to be like anyone but yourself... just let other people influence you... don't become them.

Sounds to me like you need to find out who you are first and then decide whether or not she's worth your time. So just chill, relax, let the heartache take it's toll, then start having some fun... if you need any tips to get your start, I'm sure anyone here can help you.
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iblis
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Post by iblis »

If you're looking for words of wisdom, then you've probably posted in the wrong forum - or at least the wrong section. The Dumpster, for some odd reason, holds about %93 of all wisdom on Knoxgothic. Maybe it's because most people who post there are either drunk, stupid, insane, bored, or all of the above.

But really, you're never going to find a "good answer" on the internet. In fact, the only "good answers" you'll ever find will come from inside.

Even if you have to use a carving knife and an electric can opener to get to the bloody things.

Yeah, okay, most of this post is a joke. But hell, at least it's not another goddamned link that'll make you want to hurl. Image
If carpenters made buildings the way programmers make programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy all of civilization. — Anonymous
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Jack
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Post by Jack »

Bigun wrote:I understand where your coming from.... now you need to under stand where she's coming from. She is a certain way and you need to blend with how *she* is... naturally... don't force yourself to be what you are not... I hate posers, and I'm assuming a few other people on here do as well. If said girl hangs out with this group, I suggest you find another goth group to hang with in another city and see if you like it. If not, then you two weren't meant to click...


Wait. You seem to be suggesting that they can't have a relationship unless they're both "goths".

I'm sorry. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
I was born a bastard - and then I just got worse.
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pryjmaty
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Post by pryjmaty »

*staples hand to forehead* Unless failure writes really BAD depressing poetry/song lyrics, dresses in black, wears eyeliner & black nail polish, has an unnatural preoccupation with death/dying/macbre.....he will get nowhere!!!! :roll: :morticia:
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scarecrow
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Post by scarecrow »

Failure,

Here is my advice.....stalk her.....carve her name in your chest.....stick dead bunnies in her afternoon tea.....trace down every single thing you can about her and hold onto it...keep it locked away in a box.....make a shrine in your room with her pictures...then carve on your arms until you pass out from blood loss. When you wake up...bandage the wounds, take a shower...then begin drinking...when you are well rested and severely drunk...begin chanting her name and cutting yourself some more.









Or you could just play video games to pass the time til you get over it too I guess......



:twisted:
“That proves you are unusual, returned the Scarecrow; and I am convinced the only people worthy of consideration in this world are the unusual ones. For the common folks are like the leaves of a tree, and live and die unnoticed.â€
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