SchizoFrantic

Aerick Ravenheart · Post by **Aerick Ravenheart** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 12:53 am

SchizoFrantic

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Overwraught and misled
this bitterness of anguish
brought me to my knees
broken and bleeding
tears streaming down
to the ground into puddles
as the knife of hate
slipped from my shaking
scarlet hand as I realized
I had killed my one true
and only love and soulmate
I"M SORRY!
I"M SO FUCKING SORRY!
I DIDN"T MEAN IT!
I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU!
I"M SORRY!
Madness slips across my face
the sadness turns to some
other place of loathing and
hatred as a vital part of me
and myselves
turn to play joyfully in the
gore of your intestines
as I pull and prod
upon your organs
I drink the blood and
lap it off of the floor
with my slithering tongue
We love a good party
the bitter copper taste
in our mouth
It oozes out and down our chin
as I chew on an intestine
and cry for you because
I loved you we loved you
the voices told me to do it
baby I loved you
WE"RE SORRY!
NO I"M NOT!
BUT I AM!
I NEVER MEANT TO KILL YOU!!!
I"M SORRY!
I look up and see the police
standing in the doorway
I tell them that I love them
and offer them your heart
as it drips slimey plasma
So lovely, we like it lovely
and then the cops fucking
shoot me in the head
SPLAT!
WE DIE!
I DIE!
I"M SO FUCKING SORRY!
I"M SORRY!
I"M DEAD!!!

Aerick Ravenheart · Post by **Aerick Ravenheart** » Sat May 14, 2005 12:53 am

If people find this piece to be disturbing, good. I hope, however, they realize that this was a work about a character, not I myself. If you are too fucking stupid to tell the difference, then I hope you choke on the intestines of my dead soulmate. :twisted:

Aerick Ravenheart · Post by **Aerick Ravenheart** » Wed Jun 01, 2005 1:24 pm

Did any of the fifty who read this like it or not? Let me know...

onesilverhand · Post by **onesilverhand** » Wed Jun 15, 2005 11:08 pm

Ravenheart... You are such a delectible little derelict. I've just had to respond. "We" gets it.

Aerick Ravenheart · Post by **Aerick Ravenheart** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 1:41 am

"We" bow before you and thank you ever so kindly. Onesilverhand, I appreciate the comment among all the other readers lack there of. You actually had something to say, and it was kind, as well. Keep reading them, as I shall keep writing until death overcomes me....

onesilverhand · Post by **onesilverhand** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 9:18 pm

Ravenheart

I must ask - do you write these missives for your own soul or do you write them for this faceless crowd nebulae to read ?

each sentence is a judgment in kind

I christen your work "crash poetry" a genre in its own right (write). I know that the term exists already to describe those who are turned on by car accidents and the feelings they insue. On a broader level, your poetry opens a vista of visceral responses similar to being involved in a bizarre horrific incident . You (the poet) and we (your readers) share a fascinated vicarious experience of "rubbernecking" like a voyeur into your painful bleeding/dying moment right before our eyes.

Do not admonish other readers for not commenting... they are most likely sitting in stunned silence, but NEVER take that as an apathetic response. There are people right now who are walking their dogs and thinking about your poetry. That is a powerful talent.

My next question is this... do you want to reveal your "first drafts" and let them be up for critique in order to improve the quality of your writing or do you wish to polish them until they are your best offerings to a critical and possibly jealous god before posting them? I respond to either, but wish to direct my energies to a specific desire on your part. Currently, I see your work as "first draft" material. Not bad, mind you, but still in the "lava" stage. You demonstrate REAL writing potential. Ultimately... however...

I want the VERY BEST you have to offer. Are you up for that?

Write On :rock:

One Silver Hand AKA "Bitch" (lovingly, of course)

Aerick Ravenheart · Post by **Aerick Ravenheart** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 12:01 am

OSH....I write for the good of the harvest of all souls. It is for me to put down my ideas, and for the larva of this thread to read. The masses critique phase me none, if they like it, great. If not, fuck 'em...I'm not out to be liked or disliked for my poetry, only to be seen and recognized for what i am, a writer. The maker of stories and ideas, hopes losses, and dreams to be shared to others on the site. I write the best I can, depending on the mood and how sober (or unsober) I am...venting it all onto these very pages. Read on, and continue with the critique and offering of your thoughts. I write constantly, so keep up if you shall. May my thoughts be with you all....Aerick Ravenheart