A Gothic Romance

[Aerick Ravenheart]

I rest my eyes upon her
dazzling white skin
medallion eyes of fire
hazel like a witch
dancing with graceful
ease of her long
slender pale legs
If love was real
I felt it that night
She laughed and sipped
her absinthe
taking a leave of absence
of her senses
and smeared her purple
lipstick across her snow
colored face and blushed
I wiped her clean with
my hankerchef and lit
her a cigarette
she puffed and told me
that I made quite a dancer
these things give you cancer
she said
We talked and laughed
and flirted all evening
I held her in my arms and I
didn't want her leaving
against me her bosom
was tender and supple
people stared at us
were we now friends
or a couple
I look in her eyes
that didn't deceive me
and begged her to love me
and never leave me
yet leave me she did
that night and she said
that she would come back
to me, but never did

[onesilverhand]

Now THAT is a good piece of lit! The rythmn of it flows very well, with a tension that builds (like a new encounter. ) The ending does not just crap out to drizzly shit (like my work sometimes does) but has a solid clean break like a fresh bone (or heart) snapping.

One Silver Hand

[Aerick Ravenheart]

(Bows) Thank you OSH, you are a very kind worded lady. I'm fond of your comments to my work, it gives me encouragement to write more....