sanctus

feline · Post by **feline** » Sat Apr 24, 2004 10:34 am

Okey, moms jumping in one more time...and this is the last time on this subject because this whole conversation is not only becoming boring,but childish and petty also.Lovechild isnt saying that she is still smoking!She was only saying that being around smoke for a couple of hours at the end of her very healthy pregnancy will not hurt anything!Yes, during my first pregnancy 24 years ago at age 17 i was very selfish and stupid and i did smoke.What 17 year old isnt selfish??? Also, 24 years ago they didnt know how much damage can be done to a developing baby either.Smoking crack at 37 weeks? Come on...you know full well that nicotine and crack are two completely different things. Ive never smoked crack,pregnant or not.We did enjoy Sanctus, the baby is still fine and still not quite ready to be born,I will be very picky about where my grand-daughter goes and never a bar untill she is of age,and as I said before we appreciate concern but everything is fine and it is time to drop this.Mother Mo:I will definately post when Antika is born.

candicide · Post by **candicide** » Sun Apr 25, 2004 4:30 pm

Wow...I haven't posted on KG in forever. But I'm gonna now.

I attended lots of Sanctus' while I was pregnant. The last one that I went to while I was pregnant was at 35 weeks, as the next one was a little too close for comfort for me to attend.

Anyway....why didn't anyone give me any hell for coming? I mean, I'm not trying to start anything, but I was VERY pregnant, it was VERY obvious...and no one approached me with any concerns. But this girl is getting loads of shit about her attending while pregnant.

I quit smoking during my pregnancy, and my family went outside to smoke. I won't lie and say that I didn't cheat a few times. I felt horrible about it. But, there's at least two girls that I know that told me that their doctor suggested that it was okay to drink wine while pregnant...that her doctor told her that it was okay. I had a midwife tell me, as my mother's doctor told her when she was pregnant with me, that marijuana is okay to use to control nausea and to gain a healthier appetite in the early months. And despite what kind of professional gave what kind of advice, neither of those things sounded like something that would be good to do. I refused to even take a Tylenol while I was pregnant, or take internal medicine for an ear infection...because I knew that if my child came out with anything wrong with him, I would look back at everything I had taken or done while pregnant, pick it apart, and blame myself forever.

But he's perfect.

Maybe it isn't the BEST thing you can do for your baby, to go to a smoky club for a night...but in reality, if you go out to eat, go for a walk, go shopping...there are people smoking everywhere. AND, Knoxville is one of the most polluted cities in the country. I used to hold my breath while pregnant when we were in parking lots, because the smell of car exhaust bothered me...the smell of chemicals being used in stores, etc....it all gets in you, and there's nothing you can do about it, except go no where, seal up your house, and wear a medical mask. None of it is "good" for anyone, especially an unborn child. At least this particular club gave her the option to go enjoy herself outside and breathe polluted, smoggy air, instead of being inside breathing smoky, polluted, smoggy air.

I really don't know why I felt the need to respond to this thread, other than I did the exact same thing (though I'm ten years older), and no one ever said anything to me. *shrugs*

littlepockit · Post by **littlepockit** » Sun Apr 25, 2004 6:18 pm

the main reason i was concerned is because she was young and *sometimes* you go into early labor. it wouls suck to go into labor at a club.

most doctors say that the 2nd trimester is the safest, but im not one to tempt fate. or God. i am always so afraid that i may do something wrong and lose my babies.

i was just genuinely concerned. i cant help it. i am sensitive, paranoid and, most importantly, a mommy.

it would be neat to have your baby may 9th, mothers day.

Coor · Post by **Coor** » Sun Apr 25, 2004 6:38 pm

well, sa Janell said they weren't "picking" on her nor her mother, just that their particualr incident brought up the discussion, that that MANY on the board needed to hear it.

candicide · Post by **candicide** » Mon Apr 26, 2004 3:19 pm

Yeah...I'm not trying to pick or argue or whatever. I'm a mommy, too, and I am concerned about all babies, especially those of the people I know. But, whether I agree or not about how people choose to take care of their babies...I don't know, it's a delicate issue. I don't believe in taking drugs, smoking, or drinking while pregnant. I don't believe in spanking, or most forms of discipline. I don't believe in giving babies french fries. But, other people think it's okay...and that's their business. They have to deal with the consequences of that.

But when it comes to our kids, we get defensive when people question how we're taking care of them. Hopefully, every parent takes care of their kids in the best way that they know how...and to be told by others that they're not...it's sort of offensive, you know? I mean, I do everything I can to make sure that Jaden is taken care of wonderfully...that he has everything that he needs, that he is happy...and I would rip someone's face off if they dissed how I take care of my baby. It's a very sensitive issue.

And what's sad, is that there are people who party as hard as they would any time when they're pregnant...and some of them have perfectly healthy babies. And then there are those people who do everything they're supposed to do, treat their bodies better than they ever have when they're pregnant, and work so hard to ensure that everything will be okay...and some of them have babies with birth defects. That's what is really unfair.

I'm glad that I went to the September Sanctus before I had Jaden. I needed one last hurrah....as I couldn't come out again until December, and then I didn't go again until this past one in April. It's a lot harder to get out once they're here.

littlepockit · Post by **littlepockit** » Mon Apr 26, 2004 3:34 pm

thursday niight, at prince, while i was having fun, i missed my babies terribly. i think thats the main reason i don't go out but maybe once a year. although, its good for jeffry to get time alone with his babies.

but, yeah, candicide, you're right. i probably overstepped way too much. but, hingsights 20/20.

candicide · Post by **candicide** » Mon Apr 26, 2004 5:54 pm

Noooooooo Kimmie. No. That's not what I meant at all.

Like I posted the other day, I'm really loose with my opinions, and often they get taken wrong. But, I rarely find any topic worth responding to, and since this one kind of felt personal (not personal as in, directed at me...but personal, as in, it sparked something in my mommyness that forced my thoughts on the subject out) I just had to.

And I know that your mommyness did the same thing to you. So, I don't want you or Morgan to think I was bitching at either one of you, because I adore both of you. I just had another view, that's all.

*hugs*

Mother Mo · Post by **Mother Mo** » Tue Apr 27, 2004 3:25 pm

Well said, Candicide. Everybody on here only wants the best for all the babies & of course, the mommies as well, since a mother feeling bad about herself & overly defensive isn't good for her child. If one has constructive criticism to offer to a young mother, it is nice to see it done lovingly & sensitively, so as to be most effective & least judgemental.

How fortunate all these children are to have such devoted mothers! And how fortunate these mothers are to have such a supportive & nuturing environment in which to rear their children! Let's just kiss the babies & count our blessings.

littlepockit · Post by **littlepockit** » Tue Apr 27, 2004 3:27 pm

ohhh...my baby loves to be kissed. he loves girls already!