Random Junkie Christ Thread

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Fri Nov 28, 2003 7:34 pm

gwenhwyfar wrote:what do i wanna be when i grow up?

a good lay with enough cash to pay the bills. occupations change too much, dont set a target set a field with multiple jobs in it. then your bills are paid, become a good lay (if your not already, most people think they are and suck... lol) to relieve stress, this way you can spend the rest of your time doing the things you enjoy, learning, evolving, ect ect ect...

why do i always have a headache?

tell the midget to stop skullfucking you
possible reasons:
bloodsugar, sinuses, atmospheric pressure, allergires, midgets

why, when i have the ability and knowledge to type properly( asdf jkl;) do i choose to peck?( i type like old people make love)

because most people do. its situational learning that forms habitual typing patterns.

and will my dog ever get her girlish figure back?

no. probably not. unless you get it a GNC gold card and a membership to a local gym and convince her shes gotta work that booty off.....

gwenhwyfar · Post by **gwenhwyfar** » Sat Nov 29, 2003 6:21 am

junkie christ wrote:a good lay with enough cash to pay the bills. occupations change too much, dont set a target set a field with multiple jobs in it. then your bills are paid, become a good lay (if your not already, most people think they are and suck... lol) to relieve stress, this way you can spend the rest of your time doing the things you enjoy, learning, evolving, ect ect ect...

ok, now i have been pondering this all night now. so i must know, what exactly is it that distinguishes a chick as a good lay or a bad lay. besides the givens like laying there like a rock, etc, etc. i know different people like different stuff. any guy can chime in on this, just keep in mind that this is not knox fetish. no, i'm not offering myself to anyone for a "test". what makes a chick a fantastic piece of ass? i just hope i don't regret asking this, theres no telling what going to come up.

Codeine Coma · Post by **Codeine Coma** » Sat Nov 29, 2003 8:02 am

Tom's two cents about being a good lay....

A Good lay.....is as eager to please me as I am to please it
A bad lay....Never really wanted to have sex in the first place
A Good lay...Always touches me as much as I touch them
A Bad lay...Expects the other person to do all the work

Sorry Junkie...I had to respond to this......Forgive me.

Mercurygriffin · Post by **Mercurygriffin** » Sat Nov 29, 2003 2:44 pm

A good lay female or male both are based on a need to do and enjoying doing it as much as as being done and enjoying being done. If that made any sense at all it is a fucking miricale.

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Sat Nov 29, 2003 2:45 pm

what makes a good lay:
Experimentation, willingness to do anything, someone who enjoys everything, wants to please as bad as wants to be pleased (severely both), spirit of adventure, able to verbalize needs or to verbally engage the other person, talent in positions (aka: be able to fuck me on the level im gonna fuck you), be sexy, foreplay, postplay, play during, and because this is really important: willingness to do anything and enjoy it (that cant be faked) && talent in positions.

gwenhwyfar · Post by **gwenhwyfar** » Sun Nov 30, 2003 5:29 am

Mercurygriffin wrote:A good lay female or male both are based on a need to do and enjoying doing it as much as as being done and enjoying being done. If that made any sense at all it is a fucking miricale.

i think i understand what you just tried to say. but if you can say that first sentence 10 times fast, i'll buy you a drink. like in less than 30 sec, fast.

junkie christ wrote:what makes a good lay:
Experimentation, willingness to do anything, someone who enjoys everything, wants to please as bad as wants to be pleased (severely both), spirit of adventure, able to verbalize needs or to verbally engage the other person, talent in positions (aka: be able to fuck me on the level im gonna fuck you), be sexy, foreplay, postplay, play during, and because this is really important: willingness to do anything and enjoy it (that cant be faked) && talent in positions.

that is fascinating. but you may be suprised at the number of chicks that can fake it and get away with it. myself NOT included. not that i don't have the ability to fake, for i am sure i do, i just choose not to. but i have known a few people where she faked it and he had no clue.

blindboy · Post by **blindboy** » Sun Nov 30, 2003 3:07 pm

ok, now i have been pondering this all night now. so i must know, what exactly is it that distinguishes a chick as a good lay or a bad lay

Someone who will let me drink a beer and smoke during sex.

JaNell · Post by **JaNell** » Sun Nov 30, 2003 7:27 pm

JC, question:

How often do you hallucinate about quantum energy phone calls?

Sati · Post by **Sati** » Sun Nov 30, 2003 7:31 pm

Also, do you ever hallucinate about coloring books?

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Sun Nov 30, 2003 7:46 pm

JaNell wrote:JC, question:

How often do you hallucinate about quantum energy phone calls?

just this one time at band camp...................... :mrgreen:

Sati wrote:do you ever hallucinate about coloring books?

just the outlines with implications as to what color they will become when i assign tangible matter to it...

however now when i see rocky horror, the time warp makes me think:
time warp would require quantum energy right????
so i think lets do the time warp again is becoming a comeon line for anal as well.

shadow dancer · Post by **shadow dancer** » Sun Nov 30, 2003 9:35 pm

junkie christ wrote:
just this one time at band camp......................

You just scarred me for life thinking about you with a flute.

FalseAbsolution · Post by **FalseAbsolution** » Sun Nov 30, 2003 9:58 pm

Mercurygriffin wrote:A good lay female or male both are based on a need to do and enjoying doing it as much as as being done and enjoying being done. If that made any sense at all it is a fucking miricale.

I completly agree with you on that and yes that made perfect sence, but i'm completly insane so that's not saying much, if anyone has doubts about that just ask Reverend_Hate and he'd be more than happy to go on a 30 minute rant about how insane i am.

shadow_dancer wrote:You just scarred me for life thinking about you with a flute.

I've not seen Junkie yet but i'd say that would be a scary sight...

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Sun Nov 30, 2003 10:12 pm

shadow dancer wrote:
junkie christ wrote:
just this one time at band camp......................

You just scarred me for life thinking about you with a flute.

wow
that even scares me................

Reverend_ Hate · Post by **Reverend_ Hate** » Mon Dec 01, 2003 2:10 am

I completly agree with you on that and yes that made perfect sence, but i'm completly insane so that's not saying much, if anyone has doubts about that just ask Reverend_Hate and he'd be more than happy to go on a 30 minute rant about how insane i am.

Oh you're fucking A I could go on a 30 minute rant about how insane you are.But to save the trouble of typing all that,I will just say this.Never EVER go on a long car trip with that mother fucker. :loco:

FalseAbsolution · Post by **FalseAbsolution** » Mon Dec 01, 2003 2:14 am

Reverend_ Hate wrote:
I completly agree with you on that and yes that made perfect sence, but i'm completly insane so that's not saying much, if anyone has doubts about that just ask Reverend_Hate and he'd be more than happy to go on a 30 minute rant about how insane i am.

Oh you're fucking A I could go on a 30 minute rant about how insane you are.But to save the trouble of typing all that,I will just say this.Never EVER go on a long car trip with that mother fucker.

LOL It wasn't that long of a trip just to Columbus OH and back. and you make it sound like you wanted to kill me or something :twisted:

Reverend_ Hate · Post by **Reverend_ Hate** » Mon Dec 01, 2003 2:18 am

FalseAbsolution wrote:
Reverend_ Hate wrote:
I completly agree with you on that and yes that made perfect sence, but i'm completly insane so that's not saying much, if anyone has doubts about that just ask Reverend_Hate and he'd be more than happy to go on a 30 minute rant about how insane i am.

Oh you're fucking A I could go on a 30 minute rant about how insane you are.But to save the trouble of typing all that,I will just say this.Never EVER go on a long car trip with that mother fucker.

LOL It wasn't that long of a trip just to Columbus OH and back. and you make it sound like you wanted to kill me or something

Well I don't know man,between you damn near rear ending a 90 year old couple,perforating my lip with your bracelet and giggling incessantly the whole time,it sure seemd like one hell of a long trip.

FalseAbsolution · Post by **FalseAbsolution** » Mon Dec 01, 2003 2:28 am

Giggle

i don't giggle.... never......

And about the 90 yr old lady... if you hadn't had me reading off streetsigns and had me looking for the damn place while you looked at a map we might have left another year of life in her. I mean you suppose to have been teh navagator... but with me looking all ove rthe place and you looking at the map.. who else was gonna watch the road, honestly... i'm talented but not that talented :rofl:

Reverend_ Hate · Post by **Reverend_ Hate** » Mon Dec 01, 2003 3:34 am

I think that expresses my feelings after reading your post.

JaNell · Post by **JaNell** » Mon Dec 01, 2003 7:13 am

junkie christ wrote:however now when i see rocky horror, the time warp makes me think:
time warp would require quantum energy right????
so i think lets do the time warp again is becoming a comeon line for anal as well.

So, JC, if Time Warp makes you think of anal, but is also associated with Sir Diddimus - are you confessing that hearing the Time Warp makes you want to have anal sex wirh Sir Diddimus?
Do you secretly long for him to be putting it to you while yelling out "Fuck That Bird!"?
Should we put that into the coloring book?

iblis · Post by **iblis** » Mon Dec 01, 2003 9:25 am

JaNell wrote:
junkie christ wrote:however now when i see rocky horror, the time warp makes me think:
time warp would require quantum energy right????
so i think lets do the time warp again is becoming a comeon line for anal as well.

So, JC, if Time Warp makes you think of anal, but is also associated with Sir Diddimus - are you confessing that hearing the Time Warp makes you want to have anal sex wirh Sir Diddimus?
Do you secretly long for him to be putting it to you while yelling out "Fuck That Bird!"?
Should we put that into the coloring book?

The Junkie Christ Coloring Book .... I'd buy it! :mrgreen:

Question for the junkie:

How much dope do you think <insert your favorite deity here> smoked before (s)he invented the platypus?