In Memoria...

Mother Mo · Post by **Mother Mo** » Sat Jul 19, 2003 4:05 am

As some of you know, my Father has been battling terminal pancreatic cancer since March. Around 5:00 Friday night, his suffering finally ended. I went in to check him (he'd been sleeping for 2 days) and waited a minute or two for another one of his slow, rattling breaths, but it did not come. I checked his wrist and still warm neck for a pulse, but found none. I put my hand in front of his mouth and nose to feel for breath, but found only that his lips were already cold.
I went to tell my daughter (to whom he was like a father), and she tried to say I must be wrong. When I told her that I was quite sure, she almost started to cry, then looked determinedly at the wall and said she wasn't going to cry... not now anyway.
The hospice nurse was in another county, so it took a long time to get someone here to confirm it had actually happened, then a couple more hours to finally have the mortuary come for the body. Since then, it's been lots of phone calls, tears, and cleaning up. My brother is coming up from Florida, and has already cussed out my mom and me. (Storm's not over yet!)

Sorry to bring anybody down by posting this, but I guess I needed to talk about it. Also, I wanted to thank everyone who has been there for me over the last few months. You are truly good people, and I appreciate your kind words and hugs.
His last few days were truly horrible, and I must now think of him as at peace, without the pain, fear, and confusion which had previously tormented him. He was a good man and a wonderful father. He will be missed.

JaNell · Post by **JaNell** » Sat Jul 19, 2003 7:51 am

Mo, I'm sorry he's gone but I'm not sorry that his pain is over.
I'll be calling you today.
<hugs>

faeriegirl · Post by **faeriegirl** » Sat Jul 19, 2003 7:58 am

im sorry to hear that, and i think you are right about the pain being over ... much love to you dear

QueenOfTheFlock · Post by **QueenOfTheFlock** » Sat Jul 19, 2003 8:01 am

*hugs* I will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

littlepockit · Post by **littlepockit** » Sat Jul 19, 2003 8:04 am

I may not know you, but I still want to tell you that I am sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and yours at this difficult time.

miz kitty · Post by **miz kitty** » Sat Jul 19, 2003 9:28 am

I don't think we know eachother, but I wanted to tell you my thoughts are with you. I lost my own father suddenly, and I know how difficult it can be. If you need to talk or anything, pm me. May you have peace in comfort in your time of loss.

karlaBOO · Post by **karlaBOO** » Sat Jul 19, 2003 10:02 am

Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Let us know if you need anything..

Karla

Hardcoregirl · Post by **Hardcoregirl** » Sat Jul 19, 2003 10:49 am

Your post reminds me so much of when my grandfather died from lung cancer when I was seventeen. I had really never dealt with the death of someone close to me. It was weird to see a man that was 6'4 being in such a vulnerable position. I remember having to help him sit up to get a drink of water and it was just heart wrenching to see this respectable self sufficient man having to be taken care of like an infant. And I remember how much it hurt to see him in so much pain.

If I had those 3 wishes from a magic lamp, one would be a cure for cancer. It isn't something that can really be prevented (besides lung cancer in smokers) and it robs the lives of all humans, regardless of age, race, sex, etc.

Even after his death, my moms half sisters argued over what they would inherit, and even fought against his last wishes of being cremated. I'm sorry that your family is giving you any grief...but who took care of him? You...don't ever forget it was you that showed him the most love and care when he needed it most.

*hugs*

Sir Diddimus · Post by **Sir Diddimus** » Sat Jul 19, 2003 11:13 am

*HUGS*

I'm so sorry Mo.......

scarecrow · Post by **scarecrow** » Sat Jul 19, 2003 11:18 am

My condolences

Malakelle · Post by **Malakelle** » Sat Jul 19, 2003 11:34 am

I am so sorry for your loss, I also know how it is to watch someone you love die slowly, my grandmouther died last year, even though it tore me up, I had to know she is in a better place, and her pain was over.
If you need anything, let me know, and know you are luved.

pryjmaty · Post by **pryjmaty** » Sat Jul 19, 2003 11:36 am

I will be praying for you and your family to be comforted, for you to have a clear mind while trying to make decisions, for you to have a calm demeanor when trying to deal with your family, and for peace in your heart knowing that you did what you could for your father and that he is no longer suffering.

*hugs*

thimble · Post by **thimble** » Sat Jul 19, 2003 11:40 am

Hugs my thoughts are with you..

Nexxus23 · Post by **Nexxus23** » Sat Jul 19, 2003 12:01 pm

~*HUGS*~

Post by **Bone** » Sat Jul 19, 2003 12:47 pm

Mo-
*Hugs* Sorry for your loss, but hopefully he is in a better place now and his suffering is over. Hope you and yours are doing okay with the situation. If you need ANYTHING at all, even an ear to bend, don't hesitate to call.

FreakySeekers · Post by **FreakySeekers** » Sat Jul 19, 2003 1:15 pm

we are sorry for your loss ,you wil be in our hearts and minds .........if you need anything in the middle of the night a ear to talk to anything just call dear warm loving huggles to you and yours

The Seekers

MahoganyDawn · Post by **MahoganyDawn** » Sat Jul 19, 2003 1:22 pm

*hugs* I'm so sorry sweetheart. If there is anything I can do to help just let me know.

Mother Mo · Post by **Mother Mo** » Sat Jul 19, 2003 1:46 pm

Thank you all so much! I am blessed to receive so much support from such caring people.

I just got back from the funeral home. The service will be held at the gravesite at 11 on Monday in the Lynnhurst Cemetary. The obituary will be in Sunday's paper... his name was David Ballew. My daughter and I are going to head to the florist now to pick out an arrangement.

Again, thank you all for your kind words and sympathies. Your love gives me the additional strength to help me see this through and be there for my family. I am grateful to be part of this community and to benefit from such kindness.

JaNell · Post by **JaNell** » Sun Jul 20, 2003 7:43 pm

Lynnhurst cemetary is at 4717 N. Broadway. The map is here.

More details for David Bellew's service are here.

pryjmaty · Post by **pryjmaty** » Sun Jul 20, 2003 8:37 pm

David is my ex's boss.....wonder if my ex will be over the commital service???