Fear and reconciliation

[Sappy_baiotch]

Im no poet.

Theres a child standing at the window, asking a simple question, at least its simple phonetically.

"So what impact have I made?"

She was the one who saved him. In a cold dark place, she said "turn on the light." She walked like the world owed her its eyes: tall, proud, and waiting for that chance to set the world on fire. She was pretty by the most agreed standards... delicious curves, thin, green eyes, sandy hair... slight dips of brown dotting the bridge of her nose. Just... Pretty.

In those standards too abstract to agree upon, she was beautiful. She had a whistful air about her, like the wind blew her hair when she was inside. She had a fire about her... like the world would be set on fire with what she planned to do. She was a inferno when everyone else tried their best to be a spark... the world was grey around a bright, sharp, crisp swirl of colors. All these abstract qualities found themselves told of by that twinkling in her eye.

Her twinkling eyes told him that he needed to go out walking in the sun... to stop whispering and start shouting. Her words were a constant Sunday, bloody Sunday. When the child felt all the darkness of life before washed away by this person's light... He stood in awe, wondering how he was the only one who saw it all underneath the "pretty girl."

Of course, he would never go to tell her what he saw... there was no need for it, untill...

She waded in as if a shade had possesed her. She no longer lit the room up around her... it fell to blackness. What was a star was now void. What was an inferno became a spark... at best.

She cried, and wouldent tell what for all she could do was cry. Whatever had stricken her was colder than the January wind that chilled to the bone anyone who passed by it.

So the child drew a flower... it was ugly and smeared when he had finished it... under it he wrote, "Id pick you a flower if it wasnt so cold outside, but this one will always bloom."

When she was given the picture, for a moment the fire and twinkle... the light, all of that abstract wonder, came back. It vanished quicker than it came, making the child wonder if he had ever seen it.

"Thank you...." she said in a half smile.

A half year later, the boy participated in an exercise where he had to answer questions from everyone around him. When she asked a question, she smiled and showed everyone the smeared flower. "Look what he did for me. Hes the gentlest dreamer in this world."

The child withdrew himself from her. He acted as if she didnt exist. When she cried, he turned away. A year later, she kissed him. Suddenly, no reason.... just kissed him. Insisted that he help her... Teared up... Didnt say what was wrong.

In fear, the child pushed her farther away. He couldent save her. He wasnt the one to. She shone to brightly. if she were to again, he would fade away. Did she even need to be saved? What did she want him to do about it?

He stared out the window and remembered hearing about her. She had fallen away from the world, broken into splinters upon the hard concrete of living after high school. She was only awake when she was falling asleep again. She never dreamed anymore. She had needed someone to save her, the way she had saved him. He ran away.

Impact? none... and he would never have a chance like that to impact another. His life was a shadow of what it was supposed to have been, and all he wanted was another chance... another way to help someone. The truth of the matter was, however, that he needed to be saved more than anyone else....all the cruel words that had hurt him deeply before he met her had been proven. He was nothing more than a watcher and a body waiting to die. All he could feel anymore was regret.

Who was he kidding when she lifted him up?

He is no poet.

[celticsmith]

Ouch!


Careful! you almost hit me in the head

[Sappy_baiotch]

ouch? what do you mean?