Thanks to Doctorthoss for brainstorming the original idea with me, and for proof-reading.
Goth Side Story
DarkRomeo stands leaning against the brick wall watching the fight going on in the parking lot. He wishes that the fighting would stop as many of his friends are involved. It is difficult to see which side is winning due to the darkness and the number of people mixed up in the brawl. Occasionally, he sees one of his friends either punching someone or being punched as the battle migrates to underneath the circle of light created by one of the few streetlamps in the parking lot that is not broken.
Finally, the police arrive and break up the fight. Apparently, there are more interesting things going on in other parts of town or else Officer Slumke just doesn’t feel like doing the paperwork involved with charging 30 or more people with PI and assault. He lets everyone go with a harsh warning to not start any more trouble.
The majority of the corset- and cape-clad people slowly meander back into the club. However, one of DarkRomeo’s closest friends, RIP, and a few others join him standing beside the club. RIP begs DarkRomeo to join back up with the Strawberry Shortcakes, explaining that they need all the help that they can get as they nearly got their butts kicked by the Draculas. However, DarkRomeo explains that he has had enough of all the drama and is just going to stay out of all of the conflict from now on. But then RIP does something very odd.... He begins dancing around the parking lot singing:
“When you’re a Shortcake you’re a Shortcake all the way from your first clove cigarette to your last un-dead day!”
Seeing his friend act this insane makes DarkRomeo think that times must be really desperate so he agrees to join back up with the Strawberry Shortcakes even though he has a real life nowadays.
Soon after re-entering the club everyone rushes the dance floor as Nina’s “99 Luftballoons” begins blasting out of the speakers. Across the crowd, DarkRomeo spots a chick sitting by herself at a table looking vaguely confused. Having been girlfriend-less and in pits of gloom and despair for a whole week now, he walks across the club to hit on her. She introduces herself as Lamia and comments that she is new to the scene in the area and does not understand why such a perky song is playing at a goth night. DarkRomeo explains to her that the song has been played for well over 10 years on the scene and people just can’t seem to break from Tradition. DarkRomeo asks her if she wants to dance anyway and join in the silliness and she giggles and agrees. On the dance floor, the young darkly -clad couple meets each others eyes, and they fall immediately into love as they are bouncing up and down. Then Barnabas, the leader of the Draculas grabs, Lamia by the arm and escorts her out of the club looking rather miffed. DarkRomeo broods to himself and watches forlornly as his new true love is taken away from him.
Later that night, as DarkRomeo is driving home to his apartment, he sings to himself: “Lamia... The most beautiful sound I ever heard: Lamia, Lamia, Lamia, Lamia ... All the beautiful sounds of the world in a single word Lamia, Lamia, Lamia... Lamia! I've just met a girl named Lamia! And suddenly that name Will never be the same To me. Lamia! I've just kissed a girl named Lamia... And suddenly I've found How wonderful a sound Can be! Lamia! Say it loud and there's music playing, Say it soft and it's almost like praying Lamia! I'll never stop saying Lamia! The most beautiful sound I ever heard Lamia...”
However, when he got home and turned on his computer, he was dismayed when he went snooping onto the Draculas message board and discovered that Lamia had just moved to town because she is Barnabas’ sister. His mood fell even more when he got a PM from RIP stating that RIP had just gotten into a huge flame war with Barnabas on CityGothic, another message board which is more Strawberry Shortcake-friendly than the board made by the Draculas. RIP and Barnabas had made plans to have a huge fight between the two groups to determine who could dominate the goth scene in the area, and had even discussed what sorts of weaponry would be allowed at the battle.
The next day, Lamia goes online and learns of the fight that has been planned. She then calls DarkRomeo and begs him to stop the combat, and he promises to do so. The young couple do a hand-fasting ceremony by themselves, and state that their love is immortal and even death shall not part them now.
DarkRomeo runs off to try and stop the fight at New Silver Cemetery. However, he is unable to get everyone calmed down and Barnabas stabs RIP. After seeing his friend slain, a fit of blind rage overtakes DarkRomeo and he stabs Barnabas. As sirens approach all of the goths flee. By the time the police get there all that they see is the dead bodies of RIP and Barnabas.
Unaware of the tragedy that has just occurred, Lamia is hanging out at her apartment gossiping with the other Dracula chicks about how in love she is. She is so twitterpated that she begins to sing:
“I feel gothic, Oh, so gothic, I feel gothic and morbid and dark, And I pity Any girl who isn't me tonight. I feel erotic, Oh, so erotic -It's alarming how erotic I feel, And so gothic That I hardly can believe I'm alive. .See the gothic girl in that mirror there: Who can that plump corseted girl be? Such a gothy eyeliner, Such gothy dress, Such a gothy fang. Such a gothy me! I feel stunning And entrancing. Feel like running and dancing for joy. For I'm loved By a gothically brooding boy!”
Lamia’s friends begin discussing how badly she seems to have lost it over her latest crush just as another one of the Draculas comes in and breaks the news that DarkRomeo has killed Barnabas. Everyone spazzes at this news and leaves Lamia alone.
Soon DarkRomeo appears at Lamia’s apartment and explains to her that he killed Barnabas in his insane rage over RIP’s death. Lamia is rather upset by the death of her brother, but her love for DarkRomeo is un-dying, so she forgives him. The couple then begin to make plans to run off and leave all of this drama behind them and move to New Orleans... The two then begin nibbling at each other’s necks and having a grope-fest.
Meanwhile, Officer Slumke is questioning all the other goths in the area about the murders. However, he is rather clueless about the counterculture and only manages to achieve getting on everyone’s nerves. Since Lamia and DarkRomeo by this point have started a bursting-out-into-song- for-no-apparent-reason-trend, perhaps related somehow to skareoke, all of the goths burst out into song in response to his interrogations:
“Dear kindly Sergeant Slumke, You gotta understand, It's just our bringing up-ke That get us out of hand. Our mothers all are junkies, Our fathers all are drunks, Golly Moses, natcherly we're goths....Gee. Officer Slumke, we're very upset;We never had the love that every child oughta get. We ain't no delinquents,We're misunderstood,Deep down inside us there is good! Officer Slumke, you're really a square;This boy don't need a judge, he needs an analyst's care! It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed. He's psychologic'ly disturbed!...Slumke, we got troubles of our own! Gee, Officer Slumke, We’re down on our knees,'Cause no one wants a fella with a social disease. Gee, Officer Slumke, What are we to do! Gee, Officer Slumke, Slumk you!”
After everyone is finished singing, Akasha, who was the girlfriend of Barnabas, goes over to Lamia’s apartment so that they can grieve together. DarkRomeo is still there and climbs out the bedroom window to avoid conflict while quickly agreeing to meet back up with Lamia over at the coffee shop and then run off to New Orleans. However, Akasha sees the tell-tale bite-marks left on Lamia’s neck and realizes that she has just been with DarkRomeo. At first she is very pissed at Lamia for making out with the guy that just killed Barnabas, but then she realizes that Lamia’s love for DarkRomeo is as eternal as her’s for Barnabas, so she warns Lamia that one of the other Draculas has a gun and is planning on killing DarkRomeo as an act of revenge. When the police show up to question Lamia about the killings some more, Akasha agrees to go to the coffee shop to tell DarkRomeo what is going on and to wait on Lamia.
Ending #1... Staying True to “West Side Story”
However, as Akasha is walking from the parking lot to the coffee shop a group of Strawberry Shortcakes attack her and attempt to rape her. However, she is saved by the owners of the coffee shop. In her state of hysterical fury and humiliation, Akasha lies to the Strawberry Shortcakes by telling them that one of the other Draculas has killed Lamia.
The news quickly gets to DarkRomeo that his beloved Lamia is dead. He then goes running out of the coffee shop to find who has killed her. But he then sees her in the street, and thinks to himself: “Wow... guess all that immortal love stuff wasn’t just us being over-dramatic.”
The two young lovers run towards each other and embrace. Then one of the other Draculas appears and shoots DarkRomeo, killing him instantly. Lamia grabs the gun from DarkRomeo’s attacker and nearly shoots the slayer of her beloved, but cannot bring herself to do it. The cycle of violence and drama is finally brought to an end by her, as all the goths from both sides of the conflict gather together around the body of DarkRomeo and form a procession to carry him off.
Ending #2... For those who like vampires
However, as Akasha is walking from the parking lot to the coffee shop, she is attacked by an actual Honest-to-God vampire and recieves the embrace. Hearing the attack, DarkRomeo goes running out of the coffee shop to see what is going on. As a newly created vampire, Akasha is over-whelmed by bloodlust and attacks DarkRomeo. However, just as he is about to die in her arms, Akasha comes back to her senses and decides to turn DarkRomeo into a vampire as well in hopes of ending all of the conflict and drama.
Lamia appears on the scene and is turned into a vampire by DarkRomeo so they truly can be together forever. The un-dead couple then turn to mist and eventually rumors make it back to town of them having been spotted in New Orleans shopping at Gargoyles after dark.
Ending #3... For those who are just silly
However, as Akasha is walking from the parking lot to the coffee shop something very odd occurs. She runs into a black dog and a black cat that are able to talk. The dog and the cat explain that their names are Boomer and Sidney, and that both of them live with human goths from the scene in the area. However, they are sick of seeing all the human drama and silliness over who is more goth when clearly Boomer and Sidney are far more goth since their coats are natually black and have natural fangs while the humans have to wear black clothing and fake fangs. So, their plan is to take over the goth scene in the city and anyone who doesn’t go along with them are to be eaten as doggie and kitty treats. Lamia approaches the scene and overhears this just as DarkRomeo walks out of the coffee shop. The two lovers embrace and quickly flee the city as the talking Uber-goth dog and cat are just to damn weird.
Everyone else on the goth scene in town is either eaten or learn to live with the new scene leaders being a cat and a dog, and the scene being drama free.
