Introducing Dewey C. Howe - a Q&A

Post by **Bone** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 9:16 am

At this time I would like to introduce to all of you on KG:
The "Wild Party" Presidental Hopeful - Dewey C. Howe,
Dewey will be using this thread to communicate with all of you in a sort of town meeting question and answer. Feel free to ask him whatever questions are on your mind for the upcoming presidental election.
Enjoy... and now I give you DEWEY C. HOWE
*APPLAUSE*

the fine print- this thread and it's canidate is political satire. much like the real canidates and political parties he is a joke, so don't take him too seriously

Dewey C. Howe · Post by **Dewey C. Howe** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 9:38 am

Thank You Bone for the kind introduction.

Yes, I am here to answer all your questions about my canidacy for the Big Office in Washington, as well as your questions about the wild party.
I am not afraid or ashamed to field any questions you have including any scandals you may have or heard about me from my mud slinging competitors. I want your Vote!
so fire away... First question please

Mercurygriffin · Post by **Mercurygriffin** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 11:53 am

Several questions for you.

1.What is your stance on the war on drugs?
2.Who is your running mate?
3.If you don't have one what are the qualifications you need for your vice?
4.How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
5.Do you know any slow or special people?
6.Bush Vs Kerry in a steel cage match, Who wins?
7.What punishment do you think is appropriate for officials who hijack the county?

Dewey C. Howe · Post by **Dewey C. Howe** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 2:22 pm

Mercurygriffin wrote:Several questions for you.

1.What is your stance on the war on drugs?
2.Who is your running mate?
3.If you don't have one what are the qualifications you need for your vice?
4.How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
5.Do you know any slow or special people?
6.Bush Vs Kerry in a steel cage match, Who wins?
7.What punishment do you think is appropriate for officials who hijack the county?

Some fine questions

1- The War on Drugs is a "war" we can not win, sadly our goverment to date has claimed "war on (political buzzword topic)"
The fact of the matter is what we have done is take a stronger prosecution stance. There in we have made drugs more expensive, and made more criminals, making more money for the goverment.
I purpose we legalize and tax drugs, thereby making back the court revenue we will lose. If we can't win the war.. join em and profit.

2/3- I have been taking to the Royalist Party in an attempt to get King Chong and I togeather on the same ticket. If Tommy is un-available, I need someone who can hold their liquor, dance and party all night long. Sex scandal is perfered but not required.

4 - African or European Woodchuck?

5 - Depends on what qualifies slow or special

6 - If they kill each other - America Wins, and I win the election!

7 - Make them sit through 24 straight hours of "Who wants to Marry My Dad"

Mercurygriffin · Post by **Mercurygriffin** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 2:33 pm

So by that logic all I have to do is get Bush and Kerry in a steel cage, make sure they both bite the dust, become your running mate and then I can start a war on stupidity and make mind altering drugs the new american past time, right?

white_darkness · Post by **white_darkness** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 2:37 pm

Dewey C. Howe wrote:1- The War on Drugs is a "war" we can not win, sadly our goverment to date has claimed "war on (political buzzword topic)"
The fact of the matter is what we have done is take a stronger prosecution stance. There in we have made drugs more expensive, and made more criminals, making more money for the goverment.
I purpose we legalize and tax drugs, thereby making back the court revenue we will lose. If we can't win the war.. join em and profit.

What about those substances which are not only dangerous to the individual but have highly destructive and risky manufacturing processes?

An excellent example of this would be Crystal Meth, which is not only highly toxic, but has a very dangerous and at times explosive manufacturing process.

Would you be planning to open wide the doors to something that clean-up from typically requires full Haz-Mat gear?

vicious_blood · Post by **vicious_blood** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 4:45 pm

Will you be legalizing prostitution?

Dewey C. Howe · Post by **Dewey C. Howe** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 5:25 pm

Mercurygriffin wrote:So by that logic all I have to do is get Bush and Kerry in a steel cage, make sure they both bite the dust, become your running mate and then I can start a war on stupidity and make mind altering drugs the new american past time, right?

IF you can make it all happen that sounds like a logical progression

Dewey C. Howe · Post by **Dewey C. Howe** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 5:41 pm

white_darkness wrote:
Dewey C. Howe wrote:1- The War on Drugs is a "war" we can not win, sadly our goverment to date has claimed "war on (political buzzword topic)"
The fact of the matter is what we have done is take a stronger prosecution stance. There in we have made drugs more expensive, and made more criminals, making more money for the goverment.
I purpose we legalize and tax drugs, thereby making back the court revenue we will lose. If we can't win the war.. join em and profit.

What about those substances which are not only dangerous to the individual but have highly destructive and risky manufacturing processes?

An excellent example of this would be Crystal Meth, which is not only highly toxic, but has a very dangerous and at times explosive manufacturing process.

Would you be planning to open wide the doors to something that clean-up from typically requires full Haz-Mat gear?

Okay legalization of drugs does not nessicarily open the door to manufacture. Part of the legalization process creates standards for product manufacture and distribution. A new branch of the FDA will be opened (note more new jobs) to deal with testing and approval of these new substances. Toxic manufacture will HAVE to be supervised and accountability held. Just like any other man made chemical.

Manufacture laws will be seperate from substance legalization.
Penalties will be stiff.

I am tough on protecting the enviroment. We can't destroy our country or our planet just for a quick cheap buck. Relaxing enviromental protections only hurts us in the long run. Possible in ways that we can't recover from.

Dewey C. Howe · Post by **Dewey C. Howe** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 5:47 pm

vicious_blood wrote:Will you be legalizing prostitution?

Prostitution Isn't Legal??????
(note to self - cancel tonights polling of the constituants meeting)

All this time I thought that the way we have been paying the goverment to screw us was legal.

Just another reason to Vote "Wild Party" in 2004

King Chong · Post by **King Chong** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 9:28 pm

Well.......Ok, man.

I am Tommy Chong and I am running for Dictator....cause I just love fucking potatoes.

SO......y'know....I was thinking.....it kinda hurt but I was doing it anyway....If Bush...who was an oil man....he gets elected....and the price of gas doubles and stuff......I figure that Kerry is gonna do the same thing for Ketchup.......and I really hate the idea of paying $4 a gallon for ketchup.............I wonder......do they sell ketchup by the barrel like they do oil?

That would be cool.....I could ....y'know......buy a couple of barrels of ketchup and then....when I get really fried.....like a potato.....I could then soak in a bath tup of ketchup.......Ketchup has natural mellowing agents y'know......

Yeah......that would be cool....

Anyway.....

If you were made President......What would you raise the price of?

I am against the war ON drugs by the way......I think there should be a war FOR drugs.....then we could all get high and mellow out man.....then there wouldn'd be a need for war at all.....

I am Tommy Chong of the royalist party and I was volunteered to be king.......even though nobody asked me or consulted my feelings about it......You would think that they are supposed to do that, but hey!.....What do I know?
......What?

I forgot somthing?

I don't think I did....

Are you sure?

well wait a minute......lemmie check...

..........

..........

..........

Oh wow man!.....you are SO right.....

So.........I should go ahead and say it now?

I don't know, man

It sounds kinda hokie......

Well....ok......If you say I gotta......

I am Tommy Chong and I aprove of this message........

I still think that sounds hokie

I wonder if the "C" stands for Cheetahman"........man.

.
.

Thrall · Post by **Thrall** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 9:56 pm

Something tells me Mr. Chong is in the back pocket of the ketchup advisory board.

FreakySeekers · Post by **FreakySeekers** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 10:06 pm

Thrall wrote:Something tells me Mr. Chong is in the back pocket of the ketchup advisory board.

And yet you have a TOMATO for an avatar.......Conspiricy!!!!!! :lol:

Dewey C. Howe · Post by **Dewey C. Howe** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 10:37 pm

I just want to be very clear. There is NO conspiracy here (not yet anyway) with the Ketchup Advisory Board.

I do want to make an important point about the wonderful vegetable ketchup, though.

That's right, I said vegetable. Though the late Ronald Reagan got many things wrong during his presidency, he did try to make one positive contribution to the country.

I will carry on this (only) important part of the Reagan legacy, and push for the official declaration of ketchup as a vegetable.

And any large cash campaign contributions from the Ketchup Advisory Board have had NO impact on my decision in this important matter.

So, please eat more ketchup, and vote WILD PARTY in 2004!

BearDragonLady · Post by **BearDragonLady** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 10:52 pm

well, as well as powdermilk biscuits are kept out of it....

Mother Mo · Post by **Mother Mo** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 11:41 pm

What about Rubarb Pie? Nothing gets the taste of shame & humiliation out of your mouth like bee-bop-a-ree-bop Rubarb Pie! I'd like to serve some to W on November 3rd.

Mr. Howe, what is your position on pie, sir?

Dewey C. Howe · Post by **Dewey C. Howe** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 11:50 pm

BearDragonLady wrote:well, as well as powdermilk biscuits are kept out of it....

Despite documents my people have received through the Bagel Industry, there is no, I repeat NO, negative smear campaign coming from powdermilk biscuits against the Ketchup Advisery Board, or it's work to get the word out about all the wonderful benefits of Ketchup.

So I believe they can be kept out of it.

Ketchup it's tastier than Kerry's or Bushe's Campaigns.
Vote Wild Party in 2004!

junkie christ · Post by **junkie christ** » Fri Oct 01, 2004 12:02 am

Mr.Chong. youve been convicted of a felony and done time in jail, henceforth you cant even vote.
how are you going to run for president?

Post by **DarkVader** » Fri Oct 01, 2004 12:43 am

junkie christ wrote:Mr.Chong. youve been convicted of a felony and done time in jail, henceforth you cant even vote.
how are you going to run for president?

Well, there is certainly precedence for a presidential candidate who has been to jail...

http://www.eugenevdebs.com/

Dewey C. Howe · Post by **Dewey C. Howe** » Fri Oct 01, 2004 12:43 am

Mother Mo wrote:What about Rubarb Pie? Nothing gets the taste of shame & humiliation out of your mouth like bee-bop-a-ree-bop Rubarb Pie! I'd like to serve some to W on November 3rd.

Mr. Howe, what is your position on pie, sir?

Why of cource I love pie. What's more American than Apple Pie!
I love ALL kinds of pie. I can't get enough pie.
Ketschup and Apple Pie helped build America!

The Wild Party is ALL about Pie!
Help put Cream Pie in the faces of Bush and Kerry!
Vote for me, Dewey C. Howe for President