Introducing Dewey C. Howe - a Q&A

[King Chong]

Mmmmm.....

Me like pie....

Pie...pie....pie....pie.....

When come back, bring pie.


Or brownies!

Oh yeah....hey there mister JC......are you attempting to imply that criminals have no place in the White House?

In any case.....that conviction was against Natural and God's law.....so it doesn't really count......

So your accusation against me are......sorta ....just ....bendy?......with the lights and the stuff all floating around like little butterflies and angels and little bitty bunnies masturbating and ejaculating rainbows and flower petals into the bright green sky and..........

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...........................









.

[white_darkness]

So what are the plans to bring spiralling oil prices under control?

Also, how will this "war on terrorism" thing be resolved?

[junkie christ]

no i was implying that the white house IS made of criminials and was wondering how you were gonna join the ranks.
but the both of the prez candidates are murderers,you just got high.
hardly seems fair in comparison.

[Dewey C. Howe]

So what are the plans to bring spiralling oil prices under control?

Also, how will this "war on terrorism" thing be resolved?

Oil prices are a tough one to deal with. Quite simply we must control the oil, or better yet we must reduce our dependancy on oil.
Prices are controled by supply vs demand. If the demand for oil drops then the price for oil drops.
I believe that part of Mr George Wrong Bush's reasons for invading Iraq is that Iraq is the third largest oil producing country in OPEC.

If Iraq would pull out of OPEC and cheaply sell oil on the open market it would really bust OPEC's balls. Who ever controls Iraqs oil is going to be a major financial/political power in the world.

If we can end our over dependance on oil, oil prices will fall and the terrorists can have their little area of desert. We can then happily keep our noses out of their bussiness because we would no longer would need their oil.

To this end I purpose some SERIOUS goverment plans for alternative fuel sources. Ethenol can be made as a gas substitue from corn. We are already paying our farmers throughout the country to not grow certain produces, such as wheat and tobacco.
Corn can easily be grown in almost EVERY area of the continental USA. Get our farmers to grow more corn. Companies get MAJOR tax breaks for building ethenol plants or by becoming none gas dependant.
Huge tax cuts to Electric car owners, and builders.
More wind harvesting facilities

While not swiftly stopping the rising fuel costs these are steps we MUST take to move us away from the our oil addicition. It will be a long hard work and a tough job. But, if we stay the cource it will mean more jobs and more income for America
Our farmers win, our industries win, and we as a nation win.

If we want fast cheap oil.... OPEC must be convinced to make more oil. This is like asking your job to give you a pay cut for working more hours.

Supply and demand... price goes down when there is no demand.
Lets remove the demand and solve all those problems in one lump group!

[Mercurygriffin]

So what are the plans to bring spiralling oil prices under control?

Also, how will this "war on terrorism" thing be resolved?

Oil prices are a tough one to deal with. Quite simply we must control the oil, or better yet we must reduce our dependancy on oil.
Prices are controled by supply vs demand. If the demand for oil drops then the price for oil drops.
I believe that part of Mr George Wrong Bush's reasons for invading Iraq is that Iraq is the third largest oil producing country in OPEC.

If Iraq would pull out of OPEC and cheaply sell oil on the open market it would really bust OPEC's balls. Who ever controls Iraqs oil is going to be a major financial/political power in the world.

If we can end our over dependance on oil, oil prices will fall and the terrorists can have their little area of desert. We can then happily keep our noses out of their bussiness because we would no longer would need their oil.

To this end I purpose some SERIOUS goverment plans for alternative fuel sources. Ethenol can be made as a gas substitue from corn. We are already paying our farmers throughout the country to not grow certain produces, such as wheat and tobacco.
Corn can easily be grown in almost EVERY area of the continental USA. Get our farmers to grow more corn. Companies get MAJOR tax breaks for building ethenol plants or by becoming none gas dependant.
Huge tax cuts to Electric car owners, and builders.
More wind harvesting facilities

While not swiftly stopping the rising fuel costs these are steps we MUST take to move us away from the our oil addicition. It will be a long hard work and a tough job. But, if we stay the cource it will mean more jobs and more income for America
Our farmers win, our industries win, and we as a nation win.

If we want fast cheap oil.... OPEC must be convinced to make more oil. This is like asking your job to give you a pay cut for working more hours.

Supply and demand... price goes down when there is no demand.
Lets remove the demand and solve all those problems in one lump group!

You have a really good point there. I personally thingk that would be good just for the simple fact that it will create more jobs in the automotive manufactureing plants because they will have to make new machines and they will have to be invented and developed and then manufacuterd and then sold and then worked on by mechanics who know what they are doing. More Fucking Jobs!

[The Fallen]

Mr Howe, I have a few points to raise....

1. What is your stance on expansion into outer space, i.e. NASA, Space Station Freedom, Lunar Exploration, and seeing if there really are four-breasted alien woman?

2. Public edjucashyn... given that a good 40% of people that do gradjeeate from hi skool have the equivalent reading level (if that) of some 3rd graders, how do you propose to fix illiteracy, violence in schools, and cafetria food?

3. Now, given that (insert chosen deity) is infinite, and the universe is also infinte....would you like a toasted tea cake?

[Dewey C. Howe]

Mr Howe, I have a few points to raise....

1. What is your stance on expansion into outer space, i.e. NASA, Space Station Freedom, Lunar Exploration, and seeing if there really are four-breasted alien woman?

I am, of course, in favor of expansion into outer space exploration. Afer all, the space program has produced many of humanity's greatest inventions - I mean, where would we be without velcro and the space pen?

(besides, how could I turn down the chance to find a four-breasted alien woman?)

2. Public edjucashyn... given that a good 40% of people that do gradjeeate from hi skool have the equivalent reading level (if that) of some 3rd graders, how do you propose to fix illiteracy, violence in schools, and cafetria food?

I am in favor of public edjucashyn. I intend to split the rediculous amounts of money we are spending on nuclear weapons production between edjucashyn and national debt reduction. I also believe that many of the problems we're seeing in schools today are a result of the cattle control/prisoner control approach that many schools have taken to using instead of actually educating children. Putting cops in schools was a mistake - we should be trying to educate, not treat kids like criminals. When you treat them like criminals, they start to act like criminals.

3. Now, given that (insert chosen deity) is infinite, and the universe is also infinte....would you like a toasted tea cake?

I'm really a huge fan of lemon icebox pie. But I suppose I'd take a toasted tea cake, thanks.

[Arkady]

A bit of wisdom from our friend Douglas Addams

"I come in peace," it said, adding after a long moment of further grinding, "take me to your Lizard."
Ford Prefect, of course, had an explanation for this, as he sat with Arthur and watched the nonstop frenetic news report on television, none of which had anything to say other than to record that the thing had done this amount of damage which was valued at that amount of billions of pounds and had killed this totally other number of people, and then say it again, because the robot was doing nothing more than standing there, swaying very slightly, and emitting short incomprehensible error messages.
"It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see...."
"You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?"
"No," said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, "nothing so simple. Nothing anything like so straightforward. On its world, the people are the people. The leaders are the lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people."
"Odd," said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy."
"I did," said Ford. "It is."
"So," said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't the people get rid of the lizards?"
"It honestly doesn't occur to them," said Ford. "They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates to the government they want."
"You mean they actually vote for the lizards?"
"Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course."
"But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?"
"Because if they didn't vote for a lizard," said Ford, "the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?"

Vote Wild

[Dewey C. Howe]

Okay once again the "Big Two" political parties have held yet another debate that the excluded me from. Once again showing that they are afraid to take me on face to face.

Sorry I have been away from this Q&A thread for a while but being on the campaign trail takes a lot of time.

With the Sanctus "Wild Party" convention coming up this Sunday. I am back and ready to answer more of your questions to help you to decide to vote Wild in November.

[Dewey C. Howe]

I would now like to discuss a little further a topic that came out on the trail... Stupid people.

I am not talking about the mentally handicaped here. What I mean is the type of person who you don't know and in a the early part of a conversation will say something like "I don't know why people are always calling the Cops on me" or the type of individual who when pulled over for a traffic violation hands the cop a beer and says "hold on to this for me while I look for my license"

These people are a menace to all of us out to have a quiet beer at the local pub. Sadly these people are allowed to run unchecked and unannounced. To help save a lot of time & sanity for the rest of the populous, I purpose the following:

A special task force while be created (more jobs!) to hunt down and identify these individuals. Upon locating such person the task force will stamp the center of their forhead with a giant red "S".
Seeing an "S" on someones forhead gives the rest of us a warning to stay the hell away.

The ink used in this procedure will also carry a special radioacive isotope that will render this individual sterile. Not allowing these stupid people to continue to reproduce will create a lighter burden on welfare.

The ink will only be removed after 3 years and following a special hearing to prove you no longer act like a "stupid person".

I think we could all use the warning when a "stupid person" is in your proximity. You see a person with an "S" and you know. To quote G.I. Joe "Knowing is half the battle"

I am currently taking applications/nominations to my Vice-President seat, and of my cabinet for things like Head of Secret Police...I mean Service, and the Head of the Department of Stupid People.

Remember Vote Wild Party in 2004!

[scarecrow]

What about Rubarb Pie? Nothing gets the taste of shame & humiliation out of your mouth like bee-bop-a-ree-bop Rubarb Pie! I'd like to serve some to W on November 3rd.

Mr. Howe, what is your position on pie, sir?

"Never rub another man's Rubarb" ~ Jack Nicholson

[white_darkness]

I would now like to discuss a little further a topic that came out on the trail... Stupid people.

I am not talking about the mentally handicaped here. What I mean is the type of person who you don't know and in a the early part of a conversation will say something like "I don't know why people are always calling the Cops on me" or the type of individual who when pulled over for a traffic violation hands the cop a beer and says "hold on to this for me while I look for my license"

These people are a menace to all of us out to have a quiet beer at the local pub. Sadly these people are allowed to run unchecked and unannounced. To help save a lot of time & sanity for the rest of the populous, I purpose the following:

A special task force while be created (more jobs!) to hunt down and identify these individuals. Upon locating such person the task force will stamp the center of their forhead with a giant red "S".
Seeing an "S" on someones forhead gives the rest of us a warning to stay the hell away.

The ink used in this procedure will also carry a special radioacive isotope that will render this individual sterile. Not allowing these stupid people to continue to reproduce will create a lighter burden on welfare.

The ink will only be removed after 3 years and following a special hearing to prove you no longer act like a "stupid person".

I think we could all use the warning when a "stupid person" is in your proximity. You see a person with an "S" and you know. To quote G.I. Joe "Knowing is half the battle"

I am currently taking applications/nominations to my Vice-President seat, and of my cabinet for things like Head of Secret Police...I mean Service, and the Head of the Department of Stupid People.

Remember Vote Wild Party in 2004!

That's the most beautiful thing I've heard, though if they can be declared after 3 years to no longer be behaving like a stupid person, they'll still be exempt from gene pool participation.

If they've shown that environment can overcome nature, wouldn't it be prudent to change to a reversible method of sterilization?

Or is it just safer to avoid the whole humanitarian schtick and declare a stupid person has stupid genes and shouldn't participation in the great act of human reproduction/evolution?

[LordHades]

That's the most beautiful thing I've heard, though if they can be declared after 3 years to no longer be behaving like a stupid person, they'll still be exempt from gene pool participation.

If they've shown that environment can overcome nature, wouldn't it be prudent to change to a reversible method of sterilization?

Or is it just safer to avoid the whole humanitarian schtick and declare a stupid person has stupid genes and shouldn't participation in the great act of human reproduction/evolution?

Hrmm, how about this as an alternative for these RSC's (Reformed Stupid Citizen). Once declared, in fact, stupid, they have two alternatives. One is a three year stint at a re-education facility, during which time they're shaped from complete and utter morons, into something approximating a useful adult. Honest, hardworking, and wanting to raise one, maybe two children in whatever design of family unit works best for their personal inclinations, so long as it's relatively stable and functional. We could create seperate RSC-only communities, maybe a few normal folk to oversee them and ensure that they didn't revert back to their old stupid ways. However, they're still sterile, so what to do now? Why artificially impregnate the women of course! Using the reproductive material from a group of carefully selected, higher end, non-stupid people, we could turn these RSC neighborhoods into the perfect enviroment to raise the next generation of Wild Party supporters, thus relieving those of us who aren't inclined towards having children from the burden of doing so.


Oh, I said there were two choices, didn't I?

Well, there's always need for more test subjects for medical research, right?

[white_darkness]

Now that's an idea, though there are the environmental effects on intelligence/IQ issue.

Medical test subjects though...that sounds like business. Plus someone has to man the taco bell's of the world.

[JaZilla]

I want your Vote!

~looks confused~
Errgh?
It's MY vote, I killed it and I'm gonna eat it!

[LordHades]

Now that's an idea, though there are the environmental effects on intelligence/IQ issue.

Actually, the plan for that was that without the workforce of the terminally stupid to exploit, the structure of the fast-food monoliths would crumble. and collapse This would of course affect our BNC (Biologically Non-Stupid People) in the following ways. Those too lazy, or too busy, to take the time to adapt and start eeating a more balanced, better prepared diet, citing that it takes too much work/time, will simply go the way of the dodo.

In the case of the terminally lazy, expectations are that the majority of casualties will occur within the first 2 months, as those without support structures built up to provide them with sustenance work off their admittedly ample bodily resources, and finally wither away. Those with sufficient support structure (IE: Wife/Husband/Mother/Kids etc) can continue indefinitely, but will no doubt eventually adapt to the new enviroment.

In the case of the terminally busy (or self-important), three eventualities are forseen. Within the first 2 weeks, there will be an initial rush of casualties as their bodies, fueled only by the caffinated beverege of their choice, burns itself out in a rush of errant productivity and wasted effort.

Those that survive phase one are those with sufficient support structure in their lives, or offices that provide amenities such as doughnuts. Most these latter will suffer malnutrition and die within 10-20 years from various coronary complicationns relating to raspberry filling and sprinkles.

The remaining group, those who command sufficient influence to have food ready at their beck and call prepared by specially trained dieticians, or their wives/secretaries/mistresses/etc. will probably not notice either stage 1 or 2, except a sharp jump, then a gradual increase in the quality of work they receive from their subordinates.


Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll head over to waffle house for a double triple, scattered & smothered.